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Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

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Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#281

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It’s such a strange blend of wanting to let your kids roam while being more aware of dangers that exist, both online and off. It’s tough. For my son, Scouts have been wonderful for his independence. Can’t recommend it highly enough.

Educate them in the perils and pitfalls of life. Tell them not to fear them, but be aware of them, then let them know you expect them to take it from there. Kids are far more capable then we give them credit for. Not long ago they were forced to work in factories to help provide for the family.

Kids are far more capable…

This is a nice sound bite, but is completely lacking a key element. At what age, precisely, is this reasonable? When are they old enough to be safe around traffic, mystery dogs, and foul weather?

I can’t know if I agree or disagree without hearing whether you prescribe this approach for fifteen year olds or five year olds.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#282

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Biking a few miles took 15-20 minutes I imagine. Why would you not let your 11+ year old kids bike that route? Sounds okay if there's not too much traffic.

In car-centric suburbia, there's always traffic at the same times every day, and often poor infrastructure for biking.

100% Most of the roads seem designed to prevent it.

I grew up in a small town and we all took bikes to school or walked the ~2 miles. The drivers seemed more aware that they didn't dominate the road.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#283

Earlier quoted context omitted.

From the same source: The overall college enrollment rate for 18- to 24-year-olds was 40 percent in 2020. https://nces.ed.gov/programs/coe/indicator/cpb/college-enrol...

Assuming (1) all college students enter at 18 exactly, and (2) all college students are enrolled for exactly the nominal time of their degree program, and (3) the number of students in each year of age is equal and enrollment rates are constant year to year, 63% of students attending college, and 40% enrollment of 18-24 year olds implies 37.8% attend 2 year programs and 25.2% attend 4 year programs. Now, the actual n…

> 63% of students attending college

63% is the statistic for high-school grads, whereas the person you're replying to is talking about all "18-24 kids", so "all kids graduate high school" is an appendix to assumption 1) you would need to add.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#284

As a youngish adult (27) this is some of what I feel: - Climate change is slowly creeping up on us and corporations keep on trucking along with an endless growth mindset, not caring about the consequences of what is essentially a cancer - Somehow I lucked out and ended up turning my favourite hobby into a job that pays really well, but something feels empty. I don't feel like I'm working any harder than people in low…

As a mid-fifties older adult, every one of your points rings true.

Both of you think climate change is slowly creeping up on us? It's been banging on the door for quite some time

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#285
post #140

Kind of surprised I don't see 20-somethings commenting. mid-20-something here AMA

What’s the single biggest problem you’re facing today that has a huge impact on your mental health?

Everyone in my friend group is between 20-26, and for the guys it’s mostly been dealing with their self image. Their careers aren’t what they thought it would be, and most struggle with trying to get to some ideal body standard.

For the girls, it’s even worse. Most of them have been diagnosed with an eating disorder, probably due to the constant influence of people they see online.

So in a nutshell, the aspiration to be the same as “everyone else”, which eventually disappoints when they realise that what they want is unobtainable without drugs, surgery, luck or other extraordinary measures.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#286

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> For example, name something of real political consequence that it is acceptable to disagree about. "What is the most impactful way to ensure that everyone has sufficient clean water and nutritious food to survive? Would approach X or approach Y or approach Z save more lives? What other alternatives should we be considering? What are the tradeoffs and risks here? How can we hedge our bets to protect against those tr…

The political talking points are unfortunately not that sophisticated. It’s largely about how twitter is run by a cabal of SJWs silencing the freedom to post Hunter Biden’s dick pics or fantasies about the liberals who will throw a tantrum if you say their pronouns wrong.

Or the woke left insisting on declaring pronouns

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#288
post #25

Many young women feel like they’re failures because they can’t meet the unrealistic expectations society has of them to be successful, beautiful and nurturing. Many young men feel like they’re failures because they can’t meet society’s expectations success, attractiveness and fatherhood. Society has always had winners and losers, the global nature of things makes people more aware of higher standards and the threat t…

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Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#289

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So how do we be more like Germany? Presumably German parents prepare their kids early. I'm just not sure what changes this would involve parents making.

How about we just be more like the US was before about the 90s? As a kid who grew up in the 70s there's really a lot of truth to the "70's mom" memes/jokes. I could go with my buddies night fishing down on a pier on the bay about a mile away when I was 10 - we just had to be back by 10PM. That wouldn't happen now.

Your mom would get arrested now. Even if she wanted to let you.

I've a 12 year old... Last year I was reading at a table in the library, and he was less than 20 feet away from me in the children's section reading quietly on a couch. A security guard came up to me and told me I had to have him always in my sight.

When I do groceries I typically give my kids one half of the list and a cart, and they go off. I can't count how many times they've been asked where their parent is. I've trained them to ask the asker "Where is your parent?"

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#290

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How about we just be more like the US was before about the 90s? As a kid who grew up in the 70s there's really a lot of truth to the "70's mom" memes/jokes. I could go with my buddies night fishing down on a pier on the bay about a mile away when I was 10 - we just had to be back by 10PM. That wouldn't happen now.

Something went wrong in the US after 911. I don’t think it’s just the government. The entire capitalist machine realised just how profitable fear can be, and that’s been one of the big marketing angles in the 2000s. Especially in media, but elsewhere like supplements and drugs too. But the society wide impact of that has been a much more fearful people, obviously making parents more protective too.

I think American history tinges its culture, as this has almost always been a state driven by fear of boogeymen, whether those boogeymen were witches, sin, foreigners, minorities, communists, satanists, terrorists, etc.

I agree with your premise that it certainly was recognized and capitalized upon at that time again that fear, hysteria, crises, etc were good ways to get what you want out of people.

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