Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer? • Hacker News Board

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#191

Post by horns4lyfe » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 3:52 AM UTC

jim-jim-jim wrote: post #43

This is mostly about parenting, but the point about conflict struck me. I've found that lots of people out there seemingly can't handle disagreement at all, and attribute a fundamental moral failure to their conversation partner if they don't see eye to eye. And most of these people are incredibly unhappy. I would be too if I couldn't trust anybody other than my perfect clone. It's an antiquated idea, but explicit cl…

You’re right, but you’re going to get a lot of dorks here saying “but my side is right! And the other side is evil! You can’t argue facts!”

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#192

Post by alfor » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 3:56 AM UTC

Wait to see what will happen in the next few years.

With cellphones, videogames and the pandemic kids have almost zero free play outside with other kids.

I don’t know how to change this, even if I become strict with my kids, there is no kids outside anymore.

It’s going to get much worse.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#193

Post by krapp » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 3:57 AM UTC

remarkEon wrote: post #179

xabotage wrote: post #115

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There won't be an exact replacement because the circumstances that led to the community cannot (or rather, should not) be replicated. For the sake of the survival of the planet/species, I also don't think any institution based around magical thinking should fill the gap. Keep in mind that high-demand religions require a huge investment of time and money. Devoting even just a fraction of those resources to hobbies, ar…

Humans have tried "we believe in nothing", throughout history, and yet ... I see no Cathedrals, no beautiful songs, no art, no science, no entire civilizations built to the honor of ... nothing. >which is why people are leaving it. Attendance at TLM is increasing , not decreasing.

>I see no Cathedrals, no beautiful songs, no art, no science, no entire civilizations built to the honor of ... nothing.

Not believing in God isn't equivalent to a belief in nothing. Of course, plenty of songs, art and literally all of science have been created outside of the religious sphere. It seems regressive to the point of being archaic to dismiss the validity of all human effort not explicitly done in "honor" of the divine.

You want a Cathedral built in honor of "nothing?" Have the Hubble Space Telescope. As far as I'm concerned no gargoyle or arch wrought from stone or stained glass or Biblical prose can even compare to the transcendent - and wholly material - beauty of the Hubble Deep Field photo.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#194

Post by [deleted] » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 4:02 AM UTC

jim-jim-jim wrote: post #43

This is mostly about parenting, but the point about conflict struck me. I've found that lots of people out there seemingly can't handle disagreement at all, and attribute a fundamental moral failure to their conversation partner if they don't see eye to eye. And most of these people are incredibly unhappy. I would be too if I couldn't trust anybody other than my perfect clone. It's an antiquated idea, but explicit cl…

[deleted]

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#195

Post by dragonwriter » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 4:02 AM UTC

alex_young wrote: post #172

jasonhansel wrote: post #136

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Most kids in the US don't go to college It's about 63% of high-school grads, including both 2-year and 4-year colleges: https://nces.ed.gov/programs/coe/indicator/cpa

From the same source: The overall college enrollment rate for 18- to 24-year-olds was 40 percent in 2020. https://nces.ed.gov/programs/coe/indicator/cpb/college-enrol...

Assuming (1) all college students enter at 18 exactly, and (2) all college students are enrolled for exactly the nominal time of their degree program, and (3) the number of students in each year of age is equal and enrollment rates are constant year to year, 63% of students attending college, and 40% enrollment of 18-24 year olds implies 37.8% attend 2 year programs and 25.2% attend 4 year programs. Now, the actual numbers are different than that because the assumptions are all three false, but the point is, that there is nothing inconsistent with the 63% immediate enrollment rate and 40% of students in the 18-24 year age band being currently enrolled.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#196

Post by [deleted] » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 4:04 AM UTC

goldcd wrote: post #26

I was about to wade in and call out today's youth as pansey-ass-snowflakes. Then I read: "I like to describe it as some kids are growing up developmentally delayed, today’s 18-year-olds are like 12-year-olds from a decade ago. They have very little tolerance for conflict and discomfort, and COVID just exposed it.” " and I suddenly realized that I was just being pandered to.

[deleted]

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#197

Post by silisili » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 4:04 AM UTC

alfor wrote: post #192

Wait to see what will happen in the next few years. With cellphones, videogames and the pandemic kids have almost zero free play outside with other kids. I don’t know how to change this, even if I become strict with my kids, there is no kids outside anymore. It’s going to get much worse.

Noticed mostly the same. I still think it's a win, our kid seems much happier and more outgoing than a lot of others that end up over. Further, she tends to find friends with similar minded kids, I guess because they don't have much in common with someone glued to their phones.

I've had to actually ban kids from our house for their shitty attitudes and/or social media addiction, which may or may not be related. I don't care if I'm too strict, if you try to entice a 9 year old into sexy dancing for TikTok, you ain't coming back. Ever.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#198

Post by sibeliuss » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 4:11 AM UTC

hjgjhyuhy wrote: post #56

mberning wrote: post #20

I was at the beach the other day, beautiful weather, perfect sunset, etc. The number of people staring at their phones was very high. The number of teenagers, especially girls, taking pictures and seemingly staging events was downright depressing. We will soon look back and realize that social media and phone addiction was worse for people’s health than smoking.

I think smartphones are the worst invention of this century. They bring all the addictive services (not just social media but also news, gaming and such) everywhere, with minimum resistence. Before smartphones every silent moment, every moment of boredom people had to figure out something to do, make do with what was available. Now the phone is always the path of least resistance and instant gratification, which does…

> Too often I find myself and my partner just staring our phones while our child is playing.

My partner and I keep our phones put away when with our child _as a rule_. It's worth trying this out and seeing how your outlook might change. You don't have to use your phone; you're addicted to it. Fix the problem by taking responsibility and do things differently.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#199

Post by tootie » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 4:12 AM UTC

civilized wrote: post #180

WalterBright wrote: post #119

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Something went wrong in the US after 911. Well before then. I got one of the last chemistry sets around 1970, when they were all emasculated. > The entire capitalist machine realised just how profitable fear can be Oh come on. A huge driver of this problem is the legal system which encourages jackpot lawsuits, along with our culture of it's always someone else's fault (usually the party with money that becomes wort…

What I see is mutually interlocking and supporting drivers: 1. Profiteering media based on a 24/7/365 fixation on fear and violence: "if it bleeds it leads", and encouraging our worst tendencies toward moral panic (e.g. the 80s satanic ritual abuse panic, which recapitulated in some ways the Salem witch trials) 2. A people who easily go along with the media-driven culture of fear, and learn e.g. that their kids can't…

Honestly I'm dubious it's any of those. I blame more cars on the road.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#200

Post by User23 » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 4:13 AM UTC

standardUser wrote: post #130

yucky wrote: post #80

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's a cop out, and only reinforces their internalized belief that literally nothing is their own fault. Find a Gen Z person who is fully accountable for their own actions and you will have located a unicorn. It's uncanny how in-sync that entire generation is with the idea that they are not only owed the world, but have no fault. They are crippled by the actions of "others" (whoever the others are doesn't matter -…

That's the same tired stuff people said about Millennials and Gen Xers before them. The younger generations are vastly more open, honest, kind and generous than older generations. They just have significantly less tolerance for hateful people and "punching down". That rubs older generations the wrong way because they tend to hate (or fear) a lot of things and think it's funny/acceptable to punch down.

Boomers are a generation of narcissists. That’s just a fact that any non-narcissist that talks to one can instantly pick up on. My personal favorite boomer quote is “how can you be so selfish, think about me!” And of course if you make the mistake of telling a boomer narcissist about any challenge you face they’ll immediately go off about how they picked themselves up by their bootstraps and worked their way through college. Note that getting disowned used to be a real threat, but now it’s not because boomer parents aren’t planning to leave their kids or grandkids anything other than a reverse mortgage they’ll never be able to pay off anyhow.