How many don’t sleep well or not enough?
Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?
81–90 of 489 posts
Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?
#82> Chentsova Dutton said America has an international reputation for prizing autonomy, but her study opened her eyes to a more complicated picture. American parents tend to be overprotective when children are young, acting as if kids are going to live at home for a long time, like parents do in Italy. Yet they also expect children to live away from home fairly early for college, like families do in Germany. The result…
So how do we be more like Germany?
Presumably German parents prepare their kids early. I'm just not sure what changes this would involve parents making.
Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?
#83This is mostly about parenting, but the point about conflict struck me. I've found that lots of people out there seemingly can't handle disagreement at all, and attribute a fundamental moral failure to their conversation partner if they don't see eye to eye. And most of these people are incredibly unhappy. I would be too if I couldn't trust anybody other than my perfect clone. It's an antiquated idea, but explicit cl…
Simply "disagreement" implies that there are valid opinions and perspectives to engage about. What we have now is a culture so polarized that you are literally evil to the other side if you disagree. We can't afford to have simple disagreements because if the other tribe destroys you, you need your tribe to support you. For example, name something of real political consequence that it is acceptable to disagree about.…
> For example, name something of real political consequence that it is acceptable to disagree about.
"What is the most impactful way to ensure that everyone has sufficient clean water and nutritious food to survive? Would approach X or approach Y or approach Z save more lives? What other alternatives should we be considering? What are the tradeoffs and risks here? How can we hedge our bets to protect against those tradeoffs and risks?"
Reasonable people can and should have interesting conversations about how best to solve problems. Those arguments could even get heated, but at the end of the day, the person you're arguing with is aligned on key values with you, and just disagrees on how best to fulfill those values.
Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?
#84This is mostly about parenting, but the point about conflict struck me. I've found that lots of people out there seemingly can't handle disagreement at all, and attribute a fundamental moral failure to their conversation partner if they don't see eye to eye. And most of these people are incredibly unhappy. I would be too if I couldn't trust anybody other than my perfect clone. It's an antiquated idea, but explicit cl…
Your final point is not at all controversial! The very point of CBT is not to dwell on how you feel. Instead be active and take control of yourself. For me that meant running/long cardio sessions. I worked with a Dr who used CBT, and I explored various techniques for dealing with my thoughts. The mind is a though machine, thats what it does. You just have to learn how to turn it off sometimes! People should not be fe…
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Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?
#85Earlier quoted context omitted.
It’s such a strange blend of wanting to let your kids roam while being more aware of dangers that exist, both online and off. It’s tough. For my son, Scouts have been wonderful for his independence. Can’t recommend it highly enough.
> It’s such a strange blend of wanting to let your kids roam while being more aware of dangers that exist, both online and off. Unaccompanied roaming is, by it's nature, offline-centric. The primary, actual risks to children who are roaming are those that involve law enforcement and intolerant adults. What does not present a meaningful risk to unaccompanied children is strangers. > For my son, Scouts have been wonder…
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Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?
#86> Chentsova Dutton said America has an international reputation for prizing autonomy, but her study opened her eyes to a more complicated picture. American parents tend to be overprotective when children are young, acting as if kids are going to live at home for a long time, like parents do in Italy. Yet they also expect children to live away from home fairly early for college, like families do in Germany. The result…
I'm confused. They're too broke to move away from home, but their mental health is bad because they were coddled while they were at home and now they're no longer at home and struggling, but also more of them live at home later in life than in generations past? Is it possible maybe the problem is they are just a bit too entitled on average, and when things don't go perfectly they can't cope? That's been my experience…
Harmful parenting styles lead to children that grow up to be debilitated and somehow it gets turned around to be called 'entitlement'. It's just shifting the blame from the bad parents to the child, like victim blaming.
Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?
#87It's because there's nothing for them to look forward to. People keep asking why is X group struggling? And there's been enough articles about different groups that X is basically nearly everyone. Things are not getting better for anyone except the extremely wealthy.
The kids I know these days are fantastic. They’re empathetic, smart, polite, and all-around much better people than my friends and I were at their age. They’re so good and they give me so much hope. But they’re also troubled. They struggle with anxiety and depression (and younger) more deeply than anyone I knew growing up. My theory is that we’ve simply handed them a more difficult world to grow up in. They’re handling it admirably, but we really did them dirty.
Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?
#88> Chentsova Dutton said America has an international reputation for prizing autonomy, but her study opened her eyes to a more complicated picture. American parents tend to be overprotective when children are young, acting as if kids are going to live at home for a long time, like parents do in Italy. Yet they also expect children to live away from home fairly early for college, like families do in Germany. The result…
I'm confused. They're too broke to move away from home, but their mental health is bad because they were coddled while they were at home and now they're no longer at home and struggling, but also more of them live at home later in life than in generations past? Is it possible maybe the problem is they are just a bit too entitled on average, and when things don't go perfectly they can't cope? That's been my experience…
>> but damn if 20-somethings aren't emotionally fragile at a level the world has never seen before. And they're also all in therapy too and super in touch with their feelings and emotions which is supposed to help
They’ve probably seen enough older people drink themselves to literal death, along with other types of deaths of despair, & make a conscious choice to not want to end up that way. Whether or not it will work out in the long term, nobody can tell for certain - but at least they’re trying.
Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?
#89> Chentsova Dutton said America has an international reputation for prizing autonomy, but her study opened her eyes to a more complicated picture. American parents tend to be overprotective when children are young, acting as if kids are going to live at home for a long time, like parents do in Italy. Yet they also expect children to live away from home fairly early for college, like families do in Germany. The result…
It’s such a strange blend of wanting to let your kids roam while being more aware of dangers that exist, both online and off. It’s tough. For my son, Scouts have been wonderful for his independence. Can’t recommend it highly enough.
Educate them in the perils and pitfalls of life. Tell them not to fear them, but be aware of them, then let them know you expect them to take it from there. Kids are far more capable then we give them credit for. Not long ago they were forced to work in factories to help provide for the family.
Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?
#90> Clinical psychologist Camilo Ortiz, a professor at Long Island University-Post, began noticing a few years ago that some of his young patients, mostly children being treated for anxiety, would “fold very quickly” at the first sign of adversity
This is a perfect description of someone I met recently on a road trip with friends. From our first encounter he came off as feeling miserable and sorry for himself. He didn’t drink so he was the DD for our group, but he was a nervous driver and when we hit the freeway he got so nervous he was afraid to take his eyes off the road in front and wouldn’t shoulder check. Instead of confronting him and hurting his feelings we let him keep driving and we would shoulder check for him. Very dangerous and we knew it.
When we had the accident, it was minor and happened because he froze up at the wheel during a turn and continued on to hit a tree. Saddest, slowest accident I’ve ever seen or will be a part of and no one was really hurt. My immediate reaction from military and first aid training was to get all the other passengers to safety and make sure they weren’t injured. Meanwhile, he got out of the car, burst out sobbing, and literally ran away crying.
Anecdotal, but I think the lack of mental resilience and emotional resilience were strongly connected in his case.