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No one wants to have kids anymore

torturechambersmalltalk.substack.com

281–290 of 457 posts

Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#281
post #52

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Considering that’s never actually happened it seems you have an unreasonable level of certainty about the outcomes. People who don’t have kids don’t pass down their culture, which seems like an obvious feedback loop to keep things going. On top of this population declines have generally resulted in increased individual prosperity for hopefully obvious reasons.

And you are wrong about individual prosperity being a result of fewer people. Extremely wrong in fact. In a village of 100 people everyone is poor. Part of the reason US is becoming less prosperous in the last 50 years is because of this collapsing birth rate.

Prosperity after population decline is supported by history, look up the economic impact of the Black Plague for example.

What confuses things is local areas tend to lose population due to economic decline and prosperous areas attract people. However, when the decline is on much larger scale things flip.

Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#282
post #131
post #87

Elizabeth Warren's book The Two-Income Trap argued that dual income couples priced out single income families from the best locations. It makes sense that DINKs and childless single people are simply reacting to the same economic incentives and now pricing out dual income families. I think high-rents is a major driver of this decision. The USDA puts the cost of your first kid at $14.4k annually edited . That is prima…

I’ll give you a hint, the best locations are not in the city. Check out small towns. The people are down to earth. The cost of living is much less and the people are generally awesome to be around. I love in a small farming town and your neighbors would give the shirt off their back to come help you. One of our daughters has to go to the hospital for about a week and we came home to a clean house and meals for a week…

> Those who think the city is good place to be, explore a little outside your urban bubble.

And for those that thing “small towns” are some homogenous idyllic 50s family fantasy, be careful. Last one I lived in was a pit of unemployment, methamphetamine and heroin.

Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#283
It is sad to see that our generation is on its way to being the one to transform the world into a nursing home. I myself don't have children, but half my life taking antidepressants, trying to have a house that I couldn't have,it haven't helped me. And I feel that my circumstances are unfortunately very widespread among the population, regardless of whether or not there are people who want or not to have children as their own decision, instead of because of an impossibility due to their life circumstances.

Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#284
post #275

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is like one of those “things parents think about having children that are wrong” articles. It makes a lot of assumptions about all parents having the same experience. It’s not. A lot of this assumes kids without any health issues. “The low-sleep phase is temporary.” Nope. “Same goes for changing diapers” Nope. There are lots of good things when it comes to children, and I love mine, but if you aren’t mentally pr…

> “The low-sleep phase is temporary.” Nope. “Same goes for changing diapers” Nope. Huh? Does your child have an issue where they never grow out of diapers? For the vast majority of people, the diaper phase is temporary.

For the vast majority of people, the diaper phase is temporary.

Sure, but it is far from a guarantee. And you should at least be aware of that.

Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#285

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The state does want babies. Notice the meek state opposition to recent changes in availability of a certain healthcare procedure. Don’t expect that to be changed back anytime soon.

If you’re referring to abortion in the us, I’ve always viewed that as anti-enjoyment rather than pro-child. It’s certainly not pro-mother and it has nothing that helps children once born. Carlin did a riff on this.

I agree that it’s cynical, but I suspect we will see less reproductive freedoms as states see their population growth go negative. Why use the carrot when you have a perfectly good stick.

Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#286
Finding a wonderful partner and building a family are the best things I have ever done. Highly recommended. If I could go back, I'd spend less time "working hard and playing hard" in the decade after I finished school and start working on the family much sooner. It's hard to express how much more rewarding it is than anything I was doing before.

Your mileage may vary, but kids are great, truly.

Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#287
post #151

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Being a victim of student loans would mean the borrower cannot properly consent to the debt. If that's the case we shouldnt offer student loans. Otherwise theyre a victim of their own decision making. Of course they have a tough decision and probably received bad information like "education is priceless". So dont ever mislead kids with that crap. Ultimately We can distribute blame and repercussions across society l,…

Ever talked with someone looking to hire? How often have you heard "I just need to hire someone with a degree and ". My university degree is not in tech at all, but it sure has managed to open enough doors to make my self-learned skillset profitable. Pretending that people were making bad decisions with going to college is victim-blaming - there isn't a job market out there which doesn't demand a degree, pretty much…

I think if you had the opportunity to go to an inexpensive school or an expensive school and you chose to take loans and go to the expensive one, then you chose the loans.

That said, I think we are all victims of the horrible free-financial-aid policies that have pumped overwhelming amounts of seemingly-but-not-at-all-free money into the system and driven college tuitions to absolutely insane heights.

Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#288
post #120

> But deep down I get it. Babies are a huge opportunity cost. Financially speaking, they are like winning the lottery but backwards. You can't even think of having one without cancelling your subscription to a good night's sleep. And if you take into account inflation, economic recession, and the rest of the news cycle's highlight reel, even a one-child family can seem to have one too many mouths to fish Lego pieces…

> Every time I visit family for the holidays, I see this in real-time and it reaffirms my decision to not have children. I have an incredibly comfortable lifestyle saving for retirement, traveling and buying real estate. The moment I become responsible for another human, that all goes away. It is unfortunate that unless you have children you can never know what it is like to have children. You see the external things…

It might be empty and sad _for you_, but that doesn't mean it is for everyone. Each person has their own things they enjoy. You sound exactly like the people telling everyone "spend your money on experiences, not things" because that's what makes _them_ happy.

There are a lot of people very happy with the choice they made to have children. There are a lot of people very unhappy with the choice they made to have children. The same things are true of people who choose not to have children.

Just because something is right for you doesn't mean it's right for everyone. And treating them condescendingly because you believe is does makes you the bad one in the conversation.

Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#290

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Is this satire? I have a child and the monotonous boredom of dealing with a toddler forces me to suppress the distant memories of freedom to go to raves, fight in foreign militia, get lost in stormy mountains, hitchhike across the plains...

Once toddler phase passes it does get better, I promise!

I would trade the young tween/teenage phase for the toddler phase every day.
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