No one wants to have kids anymore • Hacker News Board

Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#261

Post by lotsofpulp » Tue, Dec 06, 2022, 2:37 PM UTC

rglullis wrote: post #246

lotsofpulp wrote: post #146

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Chasing your toddler for an hour is fun. Chasing your toddler day after day, hour after hour because you have no one else to help you might not be so fun. There is distinct difference in the fun of raising children in a village where there are tons of other kids with low risk of cars so they can play outside freely, and raising children 24/7 because they cannot be left without supervision and there are few other kids…

Exactly. It seems that most of the "childfree" arguments are based on this terrible modern, industrial, low-trust worldview that assumes that parents are solely responsible for their kids. Unless both parents come from a really dysfunctional family, this should never be the case.

>Unless both parents come from a really dysfunctional family, this should never be the case.

Why? Many people immigrate away from their families for a variety of reasons other than them being “dysfunctional”. For example, economic opportunities.

I know a quite a few couples that moved from places with low economic opportunities to places with better opportunities, and one of the downsides is that they have to navigate parenting by themselves. It is a cost they are incurring to give their kids a higher probability of success when they grow up.

Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#262

Post by coffeebeqn » Tue, Dec 06, 2022, 2:37 PM UTC

jcpst wrote: post #62

PragmaticPulp wrote: post #43

A word of advice to anyone on the fence about having kids: There’s nothing wrong with choosing not to have kids, but do yourself and consult with actual parents for what it’s really like to have kids. Articles like this one, which are written by someone who apparently has chosen not to have children, are almost universally terrible at representing the true experience of being a parent. Yes, being a parent involves a…

> If you’re focused on these experiences as the defining characteristics of being a parent, you’ll completely miss the big picture. Right. Because that’s the easy part, when they’re babies. At first I didn’t believe my friend’s dad when he told me it actually gets more difficult when they get older.

It’s different. I would say for most people the infant age is the toughest just because it’s physically tough which is not something most people in the modern world are used to. The rest is mainly just dealing with a moody person who is learning about the world and themselves and can be completely infuriating about half of the time.

Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#263

Post by the_only_law » Tue, Dec 06, 2022, 2:39 PM UTC

dustedcodes wrote: post #80

I know this is going to be a hugely unpopular opinion, but life has no purpose if it was not for offspring. To me not wanting children gives me the same vibes as someone playing a sport or entering a competition and then not giving their absolute everything to win Gold.

> To me not wanting children gives me the same vibes as someone playing a sport or entering a competition and then not giving their absolute everything to win Gold

God forbid someone tried a sport to help get in shape or to enjoy themselves

Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#264

Post by D13Fd » Tue, Dec 06, 2022, 2:39 PM UTC

sambapa wrote: post #125

vincnetas wrote: post #95

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Did you hear from marathon runners how difficult it was? Same here, it's difficult but it brings experiences you could not have otherwise, and on pragmatic side passes on your genes ;)

The amount of one's genes after several generations is homeopathic, so it doesn't matter in the long run.

Yeah that whole evolution thing is clearly bunk.

. . .

Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#265

Post by etiam » Tue, Dec 06, 2022, 2:39 PM UTC

I wish I could upvote comment by user "Meh" under the article.

This is not a problem. This is a brief hiccough that will literally evolve out in a generation or two. That "trend" is measurable in decades, against millions of years of history. And it's not universal, either.

We would be INCREDIBLY LUCKY if it lasted long enough to cut the human population in half, because we are likely already over long-term sustainable carrying capacity. In fact we might be over sustainable capacity at 4 billion. But we are very unlikely to get that lucky.

It's very fashionable right now to hand-wring over "population collapse", but it's dumb.

Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#266

Post by coffeebeqn » Tue, Dec 06, 2022, 2:40 PM UTC

Steltek wrote: post #207

criddell wrote: post #182

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Babies are the worst. They take so much from you and you get so little back. Toddlerhood is when things start to get fun. Babies cry for every reason and figuring out what’s wrong (if anything) was stressful. I felt that once my kids were able to communicate, everything got easier and waaaaaay more fun. My kids are in college now and I’m so happy and proud of them but at the same time I realize that my parenting job…

The first baby is exhausting. The second one feels easy. The nervous stress that you'll break something is gone and replaced with "been there, done that". Which is really fortunate because the older one can run and climb now so you'll need that time back.

Unless they’re a poor sleeper then you’ll still suffer plenty

Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#267

Post by [deleted] » Tue, Dec 06, 2022, 2:40 PM UTC

mcv wrote: post #46

> at this pace, the world's population is going to flatline at around 10 billion in 50 years Is that what you're panicking about? This means that for the next 50 years, we'll continue growing. Lack of offspring of current generations is clearly not the problem here. I still remember how in the 1980s, people were panicking that the world population kept growing, and sooner or later we were going to hit 10 billion. And…

[deleted]

Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#268

Post by miroljub » Tue, Dec 06, 2022, 2:41 PM UTC

ekabod wrote: post #123

throwayyy479087 wrote: post #60

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Having a kid is the most fun I’ve ever had. Used to go to raves, done bunch of crazy sexual stuff, as well as most drugs under the sun. There’s nothing close to chasing a toddler in a circle for an hour.

> There’s nothing close to chasing a toddler in a circle for an hour. I hope this is your toddler.

>> There’s nothing close to chasing a toddler in a circle for an hour.

> I hope this is your toddler.

I hope it's your toddler who wrote this comment.

Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#269

Post by sorum » Tue, Dec 06, 2022, 2:41 PM UTC

PragmaticPulp wrote: post #43

A word of advice to anyone on the fence about having kids: There’s nothing wrong with choosing not to have kids, but do yourself and consult with actual parents for what it’s really like to have kids. Articles like this one, which are written by someone who apparently has chosen not to have children, are almost universally terrible at representing the true experience of being a parent. Yes, being a parent involves a…

> The low-sleep phase is temporary. It’s such a short duration relative to the rest of your life as a parent that it really doesn’t matter much in the long run. Same goes for changing diapers and dealing with baby vomit.

The weird thing is that I miss this phase. They're little for such a short amount of time and there's just nothing else like this pre-toddler phase. Maybe it's the oxytocin that just wipes your memory clean of all the fatigue and sleep deprivation.

Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#270

Post by Jensson » Tue, Dec 06, 2022, 2:42 PM UTC

throwayyy479087 wrote: post #252

Jensson wrote: post #230

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As the downvotes for your comment shows, it isn't acceptable to express dislike for having children. With this in mind we ought to take all positive things people say with a grain of salt, since a lot of those things will be said to get social points and many people avoid complaining since it isn't acceptable. Its like in discussions about exercise, if you just read discussions online you'd think that everyone loves…

This entire post is people talking about not wanting children. Not wanting and not having children has been a way to signal group membership in the PMC class for decades now. Social media is full of people complaining about kids on airplanes, in restaurants etc. I'm over it, and I'm over the PMC signaling in general. The happiest people I know enjoy things without irony, love their kids, and aren't afraid to look stu…

Well, if you grow up with abusive parents who were miserable and constantly depressed, you likely don't want kids to avoid going down the same route. But that sort of upbringing likely means you are miserable as well.

Happy people ought to have kids, since likely they will have happy kids. Unhappy kids ought to not have kids, since they will likely have unhappy kids, and would make themselves unhappier for it. How is this strange? Do you think that miserable people shouldn't be able to express their misery? do you think that hating those miserable people will help in any way?