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No one wants to have kids anymore

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Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#91

Post by toomuchtodo »

ehutch79 wrote: post #67
PragmaticPulp wrote: post #43

A word of advice to anyone on the fence about having kids: There’s nothing wrong with choosing not to have kids, but do yourself and consult with actual parents for what it’s really like to have kids. Articles like this one, which are written by someone who apparently has chosen not to have children, are almost universally terrible at representing the true experience of being a parent. Yes, being a parent involves a…

Real parents consistently make it clear how terrible having kids is. The childless among us hear every complaint and lament about how terrible it is. Why would we do that to ourselves?

I have 2 kids, I don’t recommend it. Quality of life decline is steep unless you’re wealthy and can hire robust childcare support, and it causes a significant decline in relationship satisfaction with your partner. Maybe you end up happy in the end, maybe you don’t, it’s Russian Roulette in a different form. People who tell you to go for it aren’t going to make you whole if it doesn’t work out or be your village when you need help.

https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2011-25189-001

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2003...

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8062063/

Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#92

Post by ajuc »

somehnacct3757 wrote: post #33

Kid-having emerges. This (western biased) article is blaming the victim. An entire generation bled dry by student loans for useless degrees, unable to buy homes that their elders view as retirement funds. A thousand and one more entertaining things to do online which don't risk creating 18-year bundles of debt. And absolutely no idea how to break the cycle for your offspring. Pick one thing to fix and spend your life…

USA is just 300 millions people. "West" depending on your definitions is about 1.5 billion people. Most of the west has cheap/free university education and good welfare. They still have problems with demography, because it's not economy that discourages people from having kids. Universally - the wealthier the society becomes - the less kids it has.

Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#94

Post by nkohari »

ehutch79 wrote: post #67
PragmaticPulp wrote: post #43

A word of advice to anyone on the fence about having kids: There’s nothing wrong with choosing not to have kids, but do yourself and consult with actual parents for what it’s really like to have kids. Articles like this one, which are written by someone who apparently has chosen not to have children, are almost universally terrible at representing the true experience of being a parent. Yes, being a parent involves a…

Real parents consistently make it clear how terrible having kids is. The childless among us hear every complaint and lament about how terrible it is. Why would we do that to ourselves?

It's difficult to express to non-parents how good the good parts are. Speaking from personal experience, I never understood why people would want kids until we decided to have our own.

This isn't a judgment or to say parents are in any way superior! Having children is a very personal choice which everyone has to confront, and there's no wrong answer. The feeling of being a parent is just incredibly difficult to put into words.

Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#95

Post by vincnetas »

ehutch79 wrote: post #67
PragmaticPulp wrote: post #43

A word of advice to anyone on the fence about having kids: There’s nothing wrong with choosing not to have kids, but do yourself and consult with actual parents for what it’s really like to have kids. Articles like this one, which are written by someone who apparently has chosen not to have children, are almost universally terrible at representing the true experience of being a parent. Yes, being a parent involves a…

Real parents consistently make it clear how terrible having kids is. The childless among us hear every complaint and lament about how terrible it is. Why would we do that to ourselves?

Did you hear from marathon runners how difficult it was? Same here, it's difficult but it brings experiences you could not have otherwise, and on pragmatic side passes on your genes ;)

Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#96

Post by RHSeeger »

ehutch79 wrote: post #67
PragmaticPulp wrote: post #43

A word of advice to anyone on the fence about having kids: There’s nothing wrong with choosing not to have kids, but do yourself and consult with actual parents for what it’s really like to have kids. Articles like this one, which are written by someone who apparently has chosen not to have children, are almost universally terrible at representing the true experience of being a parent. Yes, being a parent involves a…

Real parents consistently make it clear how terrible having kids is. The childless among us hear every complaint and lament about how terrible it is. Why would we do that to ourselves?

The people you hear most vocally for many things (for example, video games) are the ones that are listing the problems with it. They're also the ones that are doing it the most, by choice. As a general rule, it's common for the vocal minority to be the complainers; and also to be the ones that most enjoy the thing in question.

Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#97

Post by analog31 »

thr0wawayf00 wrote: post #36

> But deep down I get it. Babies are a huge opportunity cost. Financially speaking, they are like winning the lottery but backwards. You can't even think of having one without cancelling your subscription to a good night's sleep. And if you take into account inflation, economic recession, and the rest of the news cycle's highlight reel, even a one-child family can seem to have one too many mouths to fish Lego pieces…

Is this borne out in data? I ask because among my friends and work mates, the ones with kids tend to be doing better financially. The higher ranks of the corporation are populated almost entirely with people who are supporting families.

I followed that path. When my first kid was born, I applied for a promotion into project management, and eventually people management. (I moved back out eventually). The vast majority of people I know who moved up into management did so coincidentally with the birth of their first kid.

Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#98

Post by icare_1er »

Lastodon wrote: post #61

"Are we millennials so busy coming up with pronouns that we can't find a weekend to make copies of ourselves?" Oh sod off with this. The primal prerogative of reproduction is predicated on the primal need for safe and secure territory. The wealthiest oligarchs of the boomer generation have done everything they can to ensure the consequent generations are unable to attain that one entirely reasonable primal need. Wome…

"The primal prerogative of reproduction is predicated on the primal need for safe and secure territory"

>> Never heard of that.

Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#99

Post by speeder »

I recently decided to have kids.

Got my wife pregnant, concluded I needed a raise, so I started to work really hard, go above and beyond, 5 months in a row of crunching overtime, got promised a raise during this.

Then just as my kid is about to be born, I get fired.

Still happy my wife is pregnant, but now I know why so many people give advice of the sort "do just the minimum necessary and never treat the company as family".

Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#100

Post by wil421 »

thr0wawayf00 wrote: post #36

> But deep down I get it. Babies are a huge opportunity cost. Financially speaking, they are like winning the lottery but backwards. You can't even think of having one without cancelling your subscription to a good night's sleep. And if you take into account inflation, economic recession, and the rest of the news cycle's highlight reel, even a one-child family can seem to have one too many mouths to fish Lego pieces…

If you only care about yourself go for it. I guess it’s somewhat sobering realizing you’re gonna be alone and your genetic material will be a dead end.

I have 3 kids 3 and under and probably got 4 hours of sleep last night. Wouldn’t trade it for the world. My kids are not treated like a drain on my potential investments.

Sure I can’t do my hobbies all the time but I can take my kids fishing and kayaking. The trips are shorter but fulfilling regardless.

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