Ask HN: I will become a father tomorrow, what advice could you share with me?

Would you explain more about arguing with the toddler about getting into the car?

3) Definitely; newborns eat, sleep, and poop. Mostly sleep. Take advantage of this. Sleep when they sleep, run errands, go out to eat, etc. You may develop an unjustified feeling that "I'm a great parent, look at how satisfied my kid is - they so rarely cry! What are all these other parents whining about?" Nature will punish you for your arrogance.

4) Your experience can also vary with subsequent children. This is also normal.

5) The most important bit of advice.

For some of my own:

6) From newborn through toddler (at minimum) kids don't have much agency (if any) and don't have the brain capacity to control impulses. There is no such thing as spoiling a baby or young toddler - and yes that is something people tried to tell us. Spoil them as much as you can. They won't remember it but they will remember feeling loved.

7) Babies and kids regress. You will think you mastered a sleep routine and schedule, all will go well for 3 months, then they'll suddenly go back to waking up every 2 hours for no apparent reason. Don't panic, this is normal.

8) It is tempting to order tons of baby and kid products, especially with the first. A lot of it ended up being a waste. We learned to keep the essentials on-hand but for other things wait to see if it was needed.

9) Don't be afraid to be the villain. It was my job to discuss what mom wanted and be her advocate during the birth process and sleepless newborn days. For example: my first was born with complications that led to a C-section so my wife was under for a bit after he was born. Family wanted to come in immediately but I told the nurses that absolutely no one was allowed in our room with the baby, no matter how pushy they were. I knew how important it was to mom that she held the baby first. I made some family members mad and I have zero regrets about that. They eventually got over it.

10) If sleep is important to you find a sleep training strategy you like and implement it once you're past the newborn stage. No matter how much work you think it is when you see other parents taking 2 hours to get their toddlers to sleep you'll be glad you started early.

Unhappy stressed out parents create unhappy stressed out kids.

Sometimes you have to be selfish in the short term so you can be a better parent in the long term. Its a balance but you shouldn't feel guilty about it.

1) Spend as much unstructured time as possible. “Quality time” is not schedulable.

2) Provide your child with age-appropriate decisions to make. Turning out a young adult who can evaluate situations/opportunities/problems and make good decisions takes years. Ask “what would you do?” and “what did you learn?”