11–20 of 156 posts
Ask HN: First-time dad-to-be. What do you wish you'd known back then? - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31976803 - July 2022 (388 comments)
Ask HN: Guide to becoming a dad? - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=9756232 - June 2015 (89 comments)
As your kids progress through their teenage years, they will distance themselves from you. They may lie about what they are up to. They might argue with you, shout at you, and cut you out of the discussion even when you desperately want to be involved. You need to recognise when this is beginning to happen and change your method of parenting to become less telling, and more guiding, letting the rope out and providing a secure nest for them to come back to thats free of judgement and accusations. This will be incredibly hard for some people, and can honestly take a very long time to get right. During this time they are psychologically trying to find their own way and independence, and this is normal. Just be there to gently guide.
If you are kind, loving, guiding, involved, and nurturing, you can't really screw this up.
You've got this. Just keep in mind the above for 12-15 years from now for your own sanity.
1. Pace yourself. You’re going to want to try to do as much as you can with your newborn/infant but sometimes they’re just not ready for it. If you try to be very extra with your child on day one, you’re going to burn yourself out. A corollary is to appreciate the free time you get.
2. Children all develop in their own way so don’t freak out if your experience something different than what you read online.
3. Fear about SIDS is so incredibly overblown. I think the latest that we know about SIDS is that it’s a genetic thing. You should keep your baby’s area relatively clutter free to minimize suffocation risk but you don’t have to spend every waking hour of your life worrying about if they are breathing.
4. If you plan to formula feed, get a baby brezza. It saves so much time. Don’t believe the negative reviews, my baby is thriving.
5. You can’t spoil a child when they’re an infant. Don’t be afraid to give them all the love they need, especially when they’re crying. You’re not doing anybody favors by letting them cry things out.
6. Be empathetic to your partner as you are now sharing a foxhole with them.
In all likelyhood there will be medical issues in the next couple of weeks with the baby or your partner. In all of the cases I know of these have been overcome completely, the children are happy and healthy, but at the time it can feel overwhelming. Try to remember that you will get though it.
Don't circumcise (genital mutilate) your kid if he's a boy.
You're taking away protection, some level of gratification, and a few other things.
Just do it. Help your wife as much as possible and show her as much as possible love. The rest will be done by her:)
Are you referring to the pregnancy itself or the parenting that comes after?