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Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

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Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#101

Post by mellosouls »

vf10a wrote: post #61
unpopularopp wrote: post #21

>As a straight white guy, I recognised from the outset that my interactions with strangers can be less fraught than they are for people who aren't straight white guys. Classic BBC, everything is race and gender nowadays. Do people really live like that? Sexuality would be the last thing I think about when I talk to a stranger that I never see again in my life for 30 seconds > Additionally, I strongly suggest men in m…

> Do people really live like that? A good way to answer this question is to ask the women in your life. It never fails to surprise me the number and variety of stories every one of my female friends/family/co-workers have. Just last week one of my friends was telling a story about a guy in a car slowly following and harassing her on her way home. That kicked off a round of 'being scared by guys in cars' stories from…

Yes, this is true and a sad fact of life - but let us not forget the majority of stranger-assault victims are men and - generally speaking - these (righteous) discussions about individual safety are rarely extended to them.

Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#102

Post by uoaei »

pj_mukh wrote: post #75
calme_toi wrote: post #60

I feel like the city life makes us talk less to strangers. Living in London, I cannot really remember when was the last time I talk to a stranger except asking/being asked for directions. Back when I was living in a small town outside Amsterdam called Abcoude, I had much more conversations with strangers even I don’t speak Dutch at all. Learnt from them that it’s the only place in the world with name starts with abc…

I swear 8/10 people I've met who say this are suburbanites going into the city to work. They rush around for work all day in the city, then sit alone in a car to get back home, wondering why they haven't met anyone new today. Having had lived in cities and towns of multiple sizes, a dense neighborhood where my daily "operations" naturally put me in contact with the same faces everyday increased my level of interactio…

It would do everyone well to talk to a professional about the many fears they seem so comfortable expressing over faceless, remote internet discussions. Un- or under-acknowledged anxieties and fears develop into complexes, and can cause severe social discomforts. This can result in the issues like those described, where people may have trouble interacting with strangers, but blame the society for not fitting their tight mold of how people should interact, rather than recognize that their discomfort arises from their frame of mind.

Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#103

Post by yuuu »

conaire wrote: post #19
nicbou wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's weirdly hard to compliment people, at least as a man. If you haven't warmed them up a bit first, it never feels right to compliment what they wear. On the other hand, people love hearing that they have a nice playlist or run a cool place. It's something we put a lot of us into, so being complimented about it always hits hard. Compliments are an acquired skill, but one that's so satisfying to use.

Try non physical complements, eg. I really appreciated the conversation you started on x, I like that we can really go deep and get into the weeds on topics, or even it's cool that you really know who you are.

compliments

Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#104

Post by brigandish »

AlecSchueler wrote: post #87
booleandilemma wrote: post #78

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What luxury do men have in 2022? The luxury of not being able to express feelings? The luxury of having a smaller chance of getting hired? The luxury of having a higher suicide rate? The luxury of getting constantly called out on social media? The luxury of being told to stop whining when we point these things out?

The daily luxury of speaking with strangers shit fear of sexual assault. I thought that was clear from the context Many of your other points are valid issues which are good points for discussion in other threads. Being called out for reinforcing patriarchal social norms, however, is fair enough. Don't take it as a personal attack but rather a little reminder to consider the effect your speech can have on others. If y…

> The daily luxury of speaking with strangers shit fear of sexual assault.

Assuming that is a typo where "without" is supposed to sit, which men have that luxury? I know a man who was raped by a group of strangers at knifepoint, so he doesn't have that luxury. Or does he? Do I, now that I know the reality beyond a mere statistic or a rumour?

I just don't know what you're proposing so I'd like to hear about how it works.

Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#105

Post by tsuujin »

leobg wrote: post #2

Apparently what is meant is talking to strangers face to face, i.e. Twitter/HN doesn’t count. > "I like humanity as a whole more because I talk to strangers." Anyone here have any anecdotes where you had that same experience? What are some good ways and places you have found to get into conversations with strangers?

I enjoy staying in hostels when I travel, specifically because I always meet someone interesting. There’s always someone from another country, or going to an interesting event, or from a religion I hadn’t had exposure to, or something else new and novel.

You’re sharing a room by default, and people willing to do that seem more likely to be fascinating and willing to tell you about it.

I am also a massive introvert, so it works well for me to know that once we’re done sharing stories I will never have to see them again.

Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#106

Post by dinvlad »

krisoft wrote: post #42
walledstance wrote: post #16

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> “Anyone here have any anecdotes where you had that same experience?” I actively engage with strangers in public. I do so in ways that match our current activities. What this looks like: Last week I was grocery shopping in the freezer section. The place I pick up tortellinis from had moved them, so me and another person were searching through the freezer cabinets. After a fruitless moment I asked them what they were…

Very good points on the benefits of talking to strangers. :) A total aside on the tortellini pointer idea: > when a store moves something a note or something similar would be helpful to tell shoppers the new location for the item This is a complete misunderstanding of why the stores move items. :) https://bettermarketing.pub/the-secret-brilliant-and-questio... "Supermarkets relocate their products around the store to…

It seems there would be a trade-off with folks going faster through checkouts, but I guess that benefit only extends to busy stores.

Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#107

Post by Broken_Hippo »

unpopularopp wrote: post #47
AlecSchueler wrote: post #34

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Quoted post unavailable.

Do you really think about someone being hetero or bi or gay or whatever when you talk to them for 30 seconds (how do you even notice)? Especially a stranger that you never see again?

If I find them attractive, sure, but that might just be because I'm bi. It doesn't affect what I say to them, though.

Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#109

Post by [deleted] »

photochemsyn wrote: post #73

Some of this is a bit presumptuous... > "The authors concluded, "the next time you need a little-pick-me-up, you might consider interacting with the Starbucks barista...thereby mining this readily available source of happiness"." Baristas, waiters, etc. are paid to provide services, not necessarily to be conversational partners. From their point of view, their choices are "be nice to this person who is chatting you u…

[deleted]

Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#110

Post by pessimizer »

nonrandomstring wrote: post #85

I loved the understated humour of: "Some social scientists believe teaching kids that literally everyone in the world they hadn't met is dangerous may have been actively harmful." Harms take many guises. Mutual distrust drives people to mediate and avoid others through technology as a psychological shield. That breeds bad technology which divides and dehumanises, and feeds the loop. Here on HN some people have argued…

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mean_world_syndrome

edit: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terror_management_theory

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