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Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

bbc.com

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Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#61

Post by vf10a »

unpopularopp wrote: post #21

>As a straight white guy, I recognised from the outset that my interactions with strangers can be less fraught than they are for people who aren't straight white guys. Classic BBC, everything is race and gender nowadays. Do people really live like that? Sexuality would be the last thing I think about when I talk to a stranger that I never see again in my life for 30 seconds > Additionally, I strongly suggest men in m…

> Do people really live like that?

A good way to answer this question is to ask the women in your life. It never fails to surprise me the number and variety of stories every one of my female friends/family/co-workers have.

Just last week one of my friends was telling a story about a guy in a car slowly following and harassing her on her way home. That kicked off a round of 'being scared by guys in cars' stories from others at the table.

I somewhat understand the 'not all guys' sentiment because this behaviour also feels very alien to me. I think it is worth taking the time to understand that it definitely is 'a not insignificant number of guys' though

Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#64

Post by macleginn »

calme_toi wrote: post #60

I feel like the city life makes us talk less to strangers. Living in London, I cannot really remember when was the last time I talk to a stranger except asking/being asked for directions. Back when I was living in a small town outside Amsterdam called Abcoude, I had much more conversations with strangers even I don’t speak Dutch at all. Learnt from them that it’s the only place in the world with name starts with abc…

After living in a small town for a considerable amount of time, it is possible to run out of strangers.

Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#65

Post by usernom »

mettamage wrote: post #14

Giving compliments to people on their style, demeanour/energy or some situation that’s interesting in the moment is how I talk to strangers. Also, only do it when you mean it. Some people respond negative to lukewarm but most people really appreciate it.

I don't think compliments are a good way to interact with strangers. Better is asking for the way to ..., most important thing is to follow your intuition.

Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#66

Post by m3kw9 »

calme_toi wrote: post #60

I feel like the city life makes us talk less to strangers. Living in London, I cannot really remember when was the last time I talk to a stranger except asking/being asked for directions. Back when I was living in a small town outside Amsterdam called Abcoude, I had much more conversations with strangers even I don’t speak Dutch at all. Learnt from them that it’s the only place in the world with name starts with abc…

The busyness of downtown life has a lot to do with that rushing to work and home, and then when you actually go out, you have a few friends with you.

Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#67

Post by ChuckNorris89 »

macleginn wrote: post #64
calme_toi wrote: post #60

I feel like the city life makes us talk less to strangers. Living in London, I cannot really remember when was the last time I talk to a stranger except asking/being asked for directions. Back when I was living in a small town outside Amsterdam called Abcoude, I had much more conversations with strangers even I don’t speak Dutch at all. Learnt from them that it’s the only place in the world with name starts with abc…

After living in a small town for a considerable amount of time, it is possible to run out of strangers.

What if there are middle grounds between small towns and large metro areas?

Running out of strangers isn't that bad for everyone. For some it's nice to be a regular somewhere and grow roots and feel part of the community.

Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#68

Post by moffkalast »

unzadunza wrote: post #40
mettamage wrote: post #14

Giving compliments to people on their style, demeanour/energy or some situation that’s interesting in the moment is how I talk to strangers. Also, only do it when you mean it. Some people respond negative to lukewarm but most people really appreciate it.

I'm really reluctant to talk to strangers, but when I do... I use triangulation, where you don't talk about yourself (a stranger doesn't care) and you don't talk about them (it makes them uncomfortable), but instead you talk about a 3rd subject that maybe is visible to both of you, like the pretty fall leaves. Actually, last year, right after I learned about triangulation, I was walking my dogs and stranger mentioned…

Just don't ask about the weather https://xkcd.com/1324/

Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#70

Post by wslh »

calme_toi wrote: post #60

I feel like the city life makes us talk less to strangers. Living in London, I cannot really remember when was the last time I talk to a stranger except asking/being asked for directions. Back when I was living in a small town outside Amsterdam called Abcoude, I had much more conversations with strangers even I don’t speak Dutch at all. Learnt from them that it’s the only place in the world with name starts with abc…

In Madrid, an obviously big city, you can easily convert small talks with long talks with strangers, so I think it is more linked to the city culture.
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