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Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

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Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#31

Post by samstave »

walledstance wrote: post #16
leobg wrote: post #2

Apparently what is meant is talking to strangers face to face, i.e. Twitter/HN doesn’t count. > "I like humanity as a whole more because I talk to strangers." Anyone here have any anecdotes where you had that same experience? What are some good ways and places you have found to get into conversations with strangers?

> “Anyone here have any anecdotes where you had that same experience?” I actively engage with strangers in public. I do so in ways that match our current activities. What this looks like: Last week I was grocery shopping in the freezer section. The place I pick up tortellinis from had moved them, so me and another person were searching through the freezer cabinets. After a fruitless moment I asked them what they were…

I really like your post,

I am extremely adept at talking to strangers, and I think its fn great to be able to chat-up a stranger and get to know them. it builds humanity and CO-munity.

I learn so much from others and I have a profound skill for just meeting a random and then being able to relate to them. most people are really surprised at my breadth of knowledge - and the thing is my breadth of knowledge is DUE to the fact that I chat so many people up to know them.

I thrive off talking to randoms.

EDIT: im lucky that I also have a good street smarts and I know what strangers to avoid

Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#32

Post by annyeonghada »

AlecSchueler wrote: post #26
viach wrote: post #25

90% of times when strangers were telling me compliments it ended up with "street scam", iukwim

I'd also recommend that folks reading this remember not to put too much pressure on women when trying this out. They are already approached a lot and often will feel the need not to communicate their discomfort having had saying No go badly many times in the past. Just remember that when you approach someone they might be uncomfortable even if they don't say that. Keep the pressure on yourself to end things, don't pu…

Can something not be gendered, for once?

Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#33

Post by AlecSchueler »

annyeonghada wrote: post #32
AlecSchueler wrote: post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'd also recommend that folks reading this remember not to put too much pressure on women when trying this out. They are already approached a lot and often will feel the need not to communicate their discomfort having had saying No go badly many times in the past. Just remember that when you approach someone they might be uncomfortable even if they don't say that. Keep the pressure on yourself to end things, don't pu…

Can something not be gendered, for once?

Why? There is a natural power imbalance between men and women. If you find it tiresome then you're getting a sense of how tiring it can be to be a woman in public.

Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#34

Post by AlecSchueler »

unpopularopp wrote: post #21

>As a straight white guy, I recognised from the outset that my interactions with strangers can be less fraught than they are for people who aren't straight white guys. Classic BBC, everything is race and gender nowadays. Do people really live like that? Sexuality would be the last thing I think about when I talk to a stranger that I never see again in my life for 30 seconds > Additionally, I strongly suggest men in m…

No post body was provided.

Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#35

Post by Barrin92 »

alexmolas wrote: post #30

Does someone have tips on how to start this type of conversations? I usually like to talk with strangers, but I have no idea on how to start the conversation. I there any way to make it easier?

drinks. Probably controversial advice in our health conscious times but it's the worlds most successful and oldest social lubricant for a reason. Hit the local bar.

Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#36

Post by hattmall »

alexmolas wrote: post #30

Does someone have tips on how to start this type of conversations? I usually like to talk with strangers, but I have no idea on how to start the conversation. I there any way to make it easier?

I wouldn't call them conversations, just interactions. Commenting on a shared situation is the normal way. Where I live it's pretty common that strangers speak to each other about what's going on if you're idling.

Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#38

Post by [deleted] »

nicbou wrote: post #15
mettamage wrote: post #14

Giving compliments to people on their style, demeanour/energy or some situation that’s interesting in the moment is how I talk to strangers. Also, only do it when you mean it. Some people respond negative to lukewarm but most people really appreciate it.

It's weirdly hard to compliment people, at least as a man. If you haven't warmed them up a bit first, it never feels right to compliment what they wear. On the other hand, people love hearing that they have a nice playlist or run a cool place. It's something we put a lot of us into, so being complimented about it always hits hard. Compliments are an acquired skill, but one that's so satisfying to use.

[deleted]

Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#39

Post by hospadar »

nicbou wrote: post #15
mettamage wrote: post #14

Giving compliments to people on their style, demeanour/energy or some situation that’s interesting in the moment is how I talk to strangers. Also, only do it when you mean it. Some people respond negative to lukewarm but most people really appreciate it.

It's weirdly hard to compliment people, at least as a man. If you haven't warmed them up a bit first, it never feels right to compliment what they wear. On the other hand, people love hearing that they have a nice playlist or run a cool place. It's something we put a lot of us into, so being complimented about it always hits hard. Compliments are an acquired skill, but one that's so satisfying to use.

Agree - I always go for compliments about a choice someone made rather than some quality I perceive them to have. This suggests admiration for something they intended to do or worked on.

"I love that sweater" [that you chose] is a lot friendlier IMO than "you look great in that sweater"

I also try to indicate with my tone and bearing that a response is not expected, a good compliment is a gift (IMO) and gifts are freely given without expectation of payback.

I also like to stick to commentary I feel i actually know anything about, i wear earrings, so often comment about them. I dont wear makeup, so i rarely go there. I think fancy shoes are fun, etc.

Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#40

Post by unzadunza »

mettamage wrote: post #14

Giving compliments to people on their style, demeanour/energy or some situation that’s interesting in the moment is how I talk to strangers. Also, only do it when you mean it. Some people respond negative to lukewarm but most people really appreciate it.

I'm really reluctant to talk to strangers, but when I do... I use triangulation, where you don't talk about yourself (a stranger doesn't care) and you don't talk about them (it makes them uncomfortable), but instead you talk about a 3rd subject that maybe is visible to both of you, like the pretty fall leaves.

Actually, last year, right after I learned about triangulation, I was walking my dogs and stranger mentioned the pretty fall leaves to me. I then started telling him that he was using triangulation and explained what it is. He got uncomfortable and walked away. Derp.

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