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Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

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Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#71

Post by intrasight »

leobg wrote: post #2

Apparently what is meant is talking to strangers face to face, i.e. Twitter/HN doesn’t count. > "I like humanity as a whole more because I talk to strangers." Anyone here have any anecdotes where you had that same experience? What are some good ways and places you have found to get into conversations with strangers?

> “Anyone here have any anecdotes where you had that same experience?”

By coincidence, last night I went to a Halloween party - sort of crashed actually. There's really no better a venue for talking to strangers than at a fancy party where everyone is wearing cool costumes. I find it easier to come out of my shell when, for example, I have a kilt and a sword.

I recently bought - after seeing it mentioned on HN - Nick Gray's "The 2-hour Cocktail Party". It's a good resource on hosting parties where people interact.

Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#73

Post by photochemsyn »

Some of this is a bit presumptuous...

> "The authors concluded, "the next time you need a little-pick-me-up, you might consider interacting with the Starbucks barista...thereby mining this readily available source of happiness"."

Baristas, waiters, etc. are paid to provide services, not necessarily to be conversational partners. From their point of view, their choices are "be nice to this person who is chatting you up" or "upset the customer", so it's not really a stranger interaction, it's a client interaction. They're also likely pretty busy, so keep it short and sweet - i.e. "Thanks, this looks great, have a nice day".

Another issue is class stratification - far and away, this seems to be a delimiter in at least large American cities. Most people won't welcome a homeless person coming up to chat with them; people in business suits are more likely to talk to other people in business suits; etc. This kind of polarization is more of a divider than what corporate media likes to focus on, i.e. race and gender.

Finally, there's the inevitable issue of dealing with the occassional hustler or con artist... see this Atlantic article, 'Stranger Studies: Cities as Interaction Machines' (2010), which concludes with this one-liner:

> "Although I do not recommend it, by the end of the semester my students could likely launch successful careers as grifters."

https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2010/09/stran...

Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#74

Post by tboughen »

krisoft wrote: post #42
walledstance wrote: post #16

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> “Anyone here have any anecdotes where you had that same experience?” I actively engage with strangers in public. I do so in ways that match our current activities. What this looks like: Last week I was grocery shopping in the freezer section. The place I pick up tortellinis from had moved them, so me and another person were searching through the freezer cabinets. After a fruitless moment I asked them what they were…

Very good points on the benefits of talking to strangers. :) A total aside on the tortellini pointer idea: > when a store moves something a note or something similar would be helpful to tell shoppers the new location for the item This is a complete misunderstanding of why the stores move items. :) https://bettermarketing.pub/the-secret-brilliant-and-questio... "Supermarkets relocate their products around the store to…

Maybe. I’d like to see the research that says this effect is greater than the impact of consumers switching elsewhere in frustration. Especially in the current age of increasing availability of online grocery shopping.

Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#75

Post by pj_mukh »

calme_toi wrote: post #60

I feel like the city life makes us talk less to strangers. Living in London, I cannot really remember when was the last time I talk to a stranger except asking/being asked for directions. Back when I was living in a small town outside Amsterdam called Abcoude, I had much more conversations with strangers even I don’t speak Dutch at all. Learnt from them that it’s the only place in the world with name starts with abc…

I swear 8/10 people I've met who say this are suburbanites going into the city to work. They rush around for work all day in the city, then sit alone in a car to get back home, wondering why they haven't met anyone new today.

Having had lived in cities and towns of multiple sizes, a dense neighborhood where my daily "operations" naturally put me in contact with the same faces everyday increased my level of interaction 10x.

Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#76

Post by doix »

mettamage wrote: post #14

Giving compliments to people on their style, demeanour/energy or some situation that’s interesting in the moment is how I talk to strangers. Also, only do it when you mean it. Some people respond negative to lukewarm but most people really appreciate it.

I remember the first time I went to Austin from the UK for a work trip. I wore my usual stupid pun t-shirts and the amount of comments/compliments I got walking down the street from strangers was insane to me (at least once a day).

The first few times I probably reacted poorly because it was so unexpected. I thought they were trying to get me to stop so that their friends could go and mug me or something. Took a while to get used too it and say something normal back.

I wouldn't take the negative/lukewarm responses personally, maybe they just don't know how to respond properly due to never experiencing it before.

Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#77

Post by wincy »

krisoft wrote: post #42
walledstance wrote: post #16

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> “Anyone here have any anecdotes where you had that same experience?” I actively engage with strangers in public. I do so in ways that match our current activities. What this looks like: Last week I was grocery shopping in the freezer section. The place I pick up tortellinis from had moved them, so me and another person were searching through the freezer cabinets. After a fruitless moment I asked them what they were…

Very good points on the benefits of talking to strangers. :) A total aside on the tortellini pointer idea: > when a store moves something a note or something similar would be helpful to tell shoppers the new location for the item This is a complete misunderstanding of why the stores move items. :) https://bettermarketing.pub/the-secret-brilliant-and-questio... "Supermarkets relocate their products around the store to…

I’m glad I’ve started using online pickup. The only annoying thing is sometimes they give me a marketing goodie bag with various food stuff samples (usually high calorie almost candy snacks like some new granola bar) in it. I used to open it but now I throw it in the garbage without looking. I didn’t consent to them trying to get me to eat more stuff I don’t need.

Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#78

Post by booleandilemma »

AlecSchueler wrote: post #34
unpopularopp wrote: post #21

>As a straight white guy, I recognised from the outset that my interactions with strangers can be less fraught than they are for people who aren't straight white guys. Classic BBC, everything is race and gender nowadays. Do people really live like that? Sexuality would be the last thing I think about when I talk to a stranger that I never see again in my life for 30 seconds > Additionally, I strongly suggest men in m…

Quoted post unavailable.

What luxury do men have in 2022?

The luxury of not being able to express feelings?

The luxury of having a smaller chance of getting hired?

The luxury of having a higher suicide rate?

The luxury of getting constantly called out on social media?

The luxury of being told to stop whining when we point these things out?

Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#79

Post by null_object »

calme_toi wrote: post #60

I feel like the city life makes us talk less to strangers. Living in London, I cannot really remember when was the last time I talk to a stranger except asking/being asked for directions. Back when I was living in a small town outside Amsterdam called Abcoude, I had much more conversations with strangers even I don’t speak Dutch at all. Learnt from them that it’s the only place in the world with name starts with abc…

> Living in London, I cannot really remember when was the last time I talk to a stranger

I lived in central London (Camden) for 15 years before moving to Stockholm, and almost every day was full of small encounters and discussions with strangers: about the weather, bemoaning our politicians, whether the food was any good, and so on.

London is a super-chatty town, and people constantly want to engage each other - even sometimes when you’re not in the mood.

If you want to see a place where strangers NEVER speak to each other (unless you’re obviously a tourist and the locals want to give you a good impression of their home-town), then come here to Stockholm. Right now there’s a big ad campaign running, encouraging people to say “hello!” To their neighbors (campaign is called “Hej granne!”)

Yep people don’t even say hi to the person they meet in the stairs.

Re: Talking to strangers can make us smarter?

#80

Post by stevekemp »

pj_mukh wrote: post #75
calme_toi wrote: post #60

I feel like the city life makes us talk less to strangers. Living in London, I cannot really remember when was the last time I talk to a stranger except asking/being asked for directions. Back when I was living in a small town outside Amsterdam called Abcoude, I had much more conversations with strangers even I don’t speak Dutch at all. Learnt from them that it’s the only place in the world with name starts with abc…

I swear 8/10 people I've met who say this are suburbanites going into the city to work. They rush around for work all day in the city, then sit alone in a car to get back home, wondering why they haven't met anyone new today. Having had lived in cities and towns of multiple sizes, a dense neighborhood where my daily "operations" naturally put me in contact with the same faces everyday increased my level of interactio…

I live in Finland, where the stereotype is that people don't do smalltalk, or interact with strangers.

But I see the same faces daily, in everyday life such as going to the local store. I've spent months chatting/flirting with the random people I come across, and it almost always goes well.

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