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75% of the time we spend with our kids in our lifetime will be spent by age 12

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Re: 75% of the time we spend with our kids in our lifetime will be spent by age 12

#151

Post by smesla »

PragmaticPulp wrote: post #41

One of the things I have a hard time conveying to non-parents is that the most time-intensive parts of parenting don't last forever. I've talked to a lot of young people who say they don't want kids because they think their personal lives will permanently halt the moment they have kids. I spend a lot of time trying to explain that: 1) I still spend a lot of time with friends and can do most of my personal hobbies/act…

Yeah but now I have to consider suicidal teenagers and climate change. I'll be lucky to live to 70, my (potential) kids, maybe 60, if the environment doesn't completely collapse.

Re: 75% of the time we spend with our kids in our lifetime will be spent by age 12

#153

Post by balfirevic »

kbrannigan wrote: post #87
ProfessorLayton wrote: post #29

A huge asterisk here is that this varies greatly by culture. For better or worse* certain cultures value strong family bonds and time spent with the parents, as well as bilateral support well into adulthood. Many cultures also encourage multigenerational living within a single household (or in extremely close proximity like my parents did). For example, my parents were happy to have me live at home as long as I wante…

Yes! American, Anglo-Saxon culture while widespread is not the norm. There is such thing as Inter-generational living. You often see advice on the internet: Why are you 20 and still living with your parents, you're a loser. You're 30 still living with your parents, you won't amount to anything. Yeah right!!! Meanwhile they leave alone with a dog, - need a ton of additional psychotherapy to stay sane. - Need to setup…

> There is such thing as Inter-generational living

I'm neither American nor Anglo-Saxon, but yes, there is such thing as living hell.

Re: 75% of the time we spend with our kids in our lifetime will be spent by age 12

#154

Post by ekanes »

WheatMillington wrote: post #90
PragmaticPulp wrote: post #41

One of the things I have a hard time conveying to non-parents is that the most time-intensive parts of parenting don't last forever. I've talked to a lot of young people who say they don't want kids because they think their personal lives will permanently halt the moment they have kids. I spend a lot of time trying to explain that: 1) I still spend a lot of time with friends and can do most of my personal hobbies/act…

I don't think I'm necessarily having the same experience as you.... my advice to people who aren't sure if they want kids, is DON'T. It's bloody hard, you sacrifice A LOT. Don't have kids unless you're very sure it's what you want. I have 2 kids under 6 and I feel like I just don't have any time for any of my hobbies any more. I leave for work first thing, come home in the afternoon, and haven't had any time for myse…

I don’t know that the GP comment disagrees - I think you’re just actually still in the hardest phase. imho it gets much better and more interesting soon! And then they’re teens you can have amazing conversations with them. And while we aren’t there yet, I gather from everyone that being a grandparent is bliss. Sending you positive vibes!

Re: 75% of the time we spend with our kids in our lifetime will be spent by age 12

#155

Post by smesla »

WheatMillington wrote: post #90
PragmaticPulp wrote: post #41

One of the things I have a hard time conveying to non-parents is that the most time-intensive parts of parenting don't last forever. I've talked to a lot of young people who say they don't want kids because they think their personal lives will permanently halt the moment they have kids. I spend a lot of time trying to explain that: 1) I still spend a lot of time with friends and can do most of my personal hobbies/act…

I don't think I'm necessarily having the same experience as you.... my advice to people who aren't sure if they want kids, is DON'T. It's bloody hard, you sacrifice A LOT. Don't have kids unless you're very sure it's what you want. I have 2 kids under 6 and I feel like I just don't have any time for any of my hobbies any more. I leave for work first thing, come home in the afternoon, and haven't had any time for myse…

No post body was provided.

Re: 75% of the time we spend with our kids in our lifetime will be spent by age 12

#156

Post by andsoitis »

PragmaticPulp wrote: post #41

One of the things I have a hard time conveying to non-parents is that the most time-intensive parts of parenting don't last forever. I've talked to a lot of young people who say they don't want kids because they think their personal lives will permanently halt the moment they have kids. I spend a lot of time trying to explain that: 1) I still spend a lot of time with friends and can do most of my personal hobbies/act…

> time-intensive parts of parenting don't last forever.

Time is not just measured in times of hours, days, and years, but also in emotion and $$$.

Re: 75% of the time we spend with our kids in our lifetime will be spent by age 12

#157

Post by andsoitis »

smesla wrote: post #155
WheatMillington wrote: post #90

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't think I'm necessarily having the same experience as you.... my advice to people who aren't sure if they want kids, is DON'T. It's bloody hard, you sacrifice A LOT. Don't have kids unless you're very sure it's what you want. I have 2 kids under 6 and I feel like I just don't have any time for any of my hobbies any more. I leave for work first thing, come home in the afternoon, and haven't had any time for myse…

Quoted post unavailable.

> norm really should be to not reproduce

Humans, just like other organisms, can't help themselves.

More seriously, we are expressions of replicating organic matter, the vessels for this process to continue to unfold. Humans are a phase in a long progression of evolution by natural selection. One day, just like long ago, "we" will no longer be around. And that's OK.

Re: 75% of the time we spend with our kids in our lifetime will be spent by age 12

#158

Post by markus_zhang »

ROTMetro wrote: post #43
wang_li wrote: post #19

While it may be a true statistic, it seems to dramatically miss the boat. Time spent with a newborn, with an infant, with a four year old, with a ten year old, with a sixteen year old, with a twenty year old are not the same. You can have more interaction, more contentment, more sense of continuity, and more sense of family, in a Thanksgiving weekend spent with your adult child and their family than the entirety of y…

My son had a springsuit at 1. We would just sit in the sand at Manresa. It was some of the most peaceful, most content, most important time in my life. I don't really remember any discussions from a holiday dinner. But I remember sitting on that beach, and the very important rocks that we examined so seriously. The texture of them. The smell of the salt air. Exploring the bucket with sandcrabs I had gathered. Maybe y…

Man this reminds me of American Beauty. Good memories.

Re: 75% of the time we spend with our kids in our lifetime will be spent by age 12

#159

Post by allisdust »

PragmaticPulp wrote: post #41

One of the things I have a hard time conveying to non-parents is that the most time-intensive parts of parenting don't last forever. I've talked to a lot of young people who say they don't want kids because they think their personal lives will permanently halt the moment they have kids. I spend a lot of time trying to explain that: 1) I still spend a lot of time with friends and can do most of my personal hobbies/act…

The only time I regret having kids is when I see them suffer (even for small things like being down with flu). Much easier to suffer ourselves than see our own kids suffer. Really brings out the vulnerability in people.

Re: 75% of the time we spend with our kids in our lifetime will be spent by age 12

#160

Post by smesla »

andsoitis wrote: post #157
smesla wrote: post #155

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Quoted post unavailable.

> norm really should be to not reproduce Humans, just like other organisms, can't help themselves. More seriously, we are expressions of replicating organic matter, the vessels for this process to continue to unfold. Humans are a phase in a long progression of evolution by natural selection. One day, just like long ago, "we" will no longer be around. And that's OK.

I...beg to differ.
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