Your remarks about my post have to do with
females, that is gender. Today that is a
touchy, sensitive, politicized subject.
You seem to be saying that, in dealing
with people, should get more information.
In a sense, you are correct: That sense
is from applications of the Radon-Nikodym
theorem. The charming proof by J. von
Neumann is in the W. Rudin Real and
Complex Analysis.
In practice, not really: What I mentioned
and you object to can be called
generalities. Sooooo, in the
politically correct world, those are
called, say, stereotypes and are
offensive.
So, it appears that you see the
generalities as drawing some detailed
conclusions about someone based just on
the generalities. Instead, you want to
hold off on the details until there is
good evidence one detail and person at a
time.
That won't, can't, work very well.
E.g, you are coaching a girl's basketball
team. Some of the girls are not doing
well. You don't know why, and they are
not clearly, explicitly, frankly, honestly
telling you why -- such reluctance is
common. Soooo, you have to guess. You
start with, they are girls, girls tend to
be emotional, in particular, afraid. So,
try that diagnosis.
Uh, in US society, women get be afraid.
Men don't.
You are coaching a boy's basketball team.
One of the boys is not doing well. If you
even hint that you suspect he is overly
emotional, afraid, you would be calling
him a "sissy". All the other boys on the
team would howl with contempt, point
fingers, bend over with laughter. So you
don't do that. You assume he has left his
emotions of fear in the locker room and is
willing to guard Michael Jordan or foul
LeBron James, even if Jordan fakes him
into the nickel seats or LeBron knocks him
there. Afraid? A boy on a round ball
team? NO WAY.
In WWII and the battle of Midway, the US
sent fighter planes, torpedo planes, and
dive bomber planes to attack the Japanese
carriers. Of course, the Japanese had
fighter planes in the air to protect the
carriers. Well, the US planes were poor
on coordination, and the torpedo planes
attacked with the rest of the US planes
still on the way. Well, it would look
like the torpedo planes had no chance.
And in fact, they didn't have a chance;
not even one torpedo hit, and all the
torpedo planes were shot down. The US
torpedo plane pilots knew they were likely
to be shot down, but they flew in anyway.
Fear? No room for fear.
Sure, some women can also overcome fear,
but they are usually not expected to and
still usually don't.
Did I mention, boys and girls are
different.
It appears that you want to set aside
generalities and assume that the girls are
not afraid until it is clear they are or
that the boys are afraid until it is clear
they are not.
But this clear information you want, and I
agree would be good to have, mostly won't
be available.
You want to ignore the generalities. But
the generalities are from decades of
careful observation and have too much good
information to discard, especially when
the detailed information you want is not
available.
What I posted is what was requested, what
I wish I'd had in my experience.
I'm not trying to get into current
politically correct gender equality
arguments. Instead, I was describing what
I wish I had known.
What I listed that I wished I'd known was
important. A lot of the wishing that you
responded to was about love, and that is a
challenging subject.
E.g., not knowing what I listed I wished
I'd known cost me the relationship with
the prettiest human female I ever saw, in
person or otherwise. And she was terrific
in nearly all respects otherwise. Later I
discovered by improbable accident that she
really loved me. For me, I still have her
high school graduation picture in the UR
corner of my computer screen -- I'm still
in love with her. That was a failure. I
believe that had I known what I wish I had
known, I could have saved the
relationship, likely had a really good
marriage, etc. We would have done well
with children: I like children, and she
was way over the top in adoring children,
especially the faces of children, say,
under the age of 5.
E.g., my marriage (to another female) was
a failure. Had I known what I listed I
wish I'd known, I could have either
avoided the marriage or saved it. She was
quite sick. Visiting her mother on her
family farm, she was missing and her body
was found floating in a lake, an apparent
suicide. Did I mention failure?
So, both of those females were afraid.
Did I mention that I wish I'd understood
that females tend to be afraid?
For this subject of fear, I will remind
you of a 101 level of a little of it: In
now some old and relatively solid clinical
psychology, fear is called anxiety and
tends to bring paranoia, hysteria, and
obsessive-compulsive (OCD),
psychopathic-passive behavior. Soooo, if
see a lot of symptoms of anxiety (fear, as
my quite perceptive Mom, after only 15
minutes, put it, "afraid of her own
shadow"), look also for the rest. Your
approach fails here -- you are asking
everyone to rediscover 100 years of
clinical psychology one detail and one
person at a time. Then, the anxiety
tends to bring stress, and the stress
tends to bring depression. The depression
lowers productivity and can, thus, can
bring more stress. The extra stress can
lead to clinical depression which is
dangerous -- can cause suicide. And that
is EXACTLY what happened. It is just
CRUCIAL for someone to understand this 101
level of clinical psychology.
Just what she was afraid of, a detail you
would insist on, she would never say, in
decades, never say or hint, and would
prefer to go to her death than say. Did I
mention that some of the details you want
won't be available?
And why this 101 clinical psychology
mostly for women? Did I mention, women
are much more emotional than men? And
more afraid?
You want to discard the generalities.
Soooo, you discard the information the
generalities imply and want to get that
information one detail and one person at a
time. E.g., you see an anxiety case but
want to discard that, from enormous
evidence, the generalities say that the
anxiety can lead to OCD, stress,
depression, clinical depression, and
death. Okay, now that they are dead, you
have your detailed information. Of
course, you have the information too late.