91–100 of 570 posts
I should've gone.
[0] I'm from a rust belt city in the Midwest. This isn't some kind of outsider prejudice against "flyover country".
My mother was an irrational unreasonable prying crazy nightmare who was incredibly negative and hated anyone disagreeing with her about any trivial thing. My biggest regret is that I allowed her to order me to go to the nearest university and continue to live with her. She had drained me of all confidence and was hostile to signs of me being an independent adult. Getting away from her years earlier would have been mu…
Many of your thought patterns are tainted, and healing is a very long and painful process. But being (made) aware of the extent of the damage is the first and necessary step to a healthier self.
For example, let's suppose that the answer to the question about the biggest regret is "not learning to swim while still a child" (I learned while being 31 years old), but the reason is that my mother could not teach me and actively opposed any other possibility for me to learn. This was not something I could change about my past, even in theory.
To anyone full of regret, I'd just like to give a quote by Marcus Aurelius (a Roman Emperor and stoic philosopher) Think of yourself as dead. You have lived your life. Now take what's left and live it properly. Life likely hasn't been perfect for almost anyone, but would you rather die right now (with likely unfinished desires, wishes and more regrets) or would you try to make the best use of what you have? (It may b…
Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
When I was a kid, I sold most of my old computers and game systems to get new ones. I wish I hadn’t done that. That stuff would be awesome to have now.
After he had been on a particularly long bender, which finally caused my mother to divorce him, me and him had a verbal fight where I decided I would not have more to do with him until he would seek the help we knew he needed (and we had been offering him for so long).
I'll add that he was a moody drunk, never abusive and when not drunk he was the sweetest person.
Some months later he fell badly while drunk, and hit his head. The resulting internal bleeding caused damage to his prefrontal cortex, which resulted in personality changes and loss of inhibition.
Within the year he had a heart attack, alone in his apartment, having ravaged his body with the lifestyle he lived.
I wish I had been less stubborn, more understanding, and would have helped him get through his illness at the time. But I was only in my early 20s at the time, with much left to learn.