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Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?

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Re: Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?

#321

Post by ilololed »

npteljes wrote: post #317
ilololed wrote: post #313

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not to worry, the hedonic treadmill means they'll be just as happy as everyone else! (right?)

No, according to the hedonic treadmill theory, people in general have a tendency to return to their own previous happiness level. The hedonic threadmill doesn't say anyting about comparing happiness levels across individuals. So how should we treat chronically ill people? As I have some in my circles, and would actually appreciate insight.

Exactly, so if you're well, but then you contract a chronic illness, one that leaves you in constant pain, you'll eventually "return to your own previous happiness level" right? So no big deal?

Re: Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?

#323

Post by AlbertCory »

aidenn0 wrote: post #165
AlbertCory wrote: post #126

The people telling you to try stuff NOW, rather than later: 100%. Do not think "when I'm retired, I'll have time for this." I'd always felt bad that I didn't practice and become a great guitar player in my teens and play in bands, like the guys I admired (and let's not even talk about the famous rock stars). So around age 40 I started singing, and then I took piano lessons. I got to be in choruses in some operas and…

Bill Withers[1] is my hero for this. He enlisted in the Navy at 17 and while in the Navy found an interest in music. Left the navy at 27 and (while working a day job) recorded his first song at 29, with his first hit at 31 (The Grammy winning Ain't no Sunshine ). At 45 he retired, citing creative differences with his label as the reason. 1: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_Withers

Thanks to your link, I found out there's a biopic about him, "Still Bill."

However, it's impossible to watch without paying a rental fee. Sorry, but IMHO music biopics about (relatively) obscure artists should be free. You can watch "The Quiet One" about Bill Wyman for free on Kanopy: a really excellent film.

Re: Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?

#324

Post by webgambit »

gffrd wrote: post #62
mooreds wrote: post #2

Some advice from someone a bit further down the career path: * If you want to try something, try it! Save up some runway, do your own thing. Try some other projects right now, don't wait. (You won't be able to devote full time effort to them, but can still make progress.) You may find that what you dream about isn't all that, or maybe it is. Either way you can take steps forward. * I learned to be happy with my life…

> Try some other projects right now, don't wait. YES. Not "this weekend" or "when things open up a bit," do it now . The river won't part for the stone voluntarily, you need to jam it in the water … Also, if you can: merge bullet 1 & 3. Try something new with your kids. Learning and exploring together is an amazing experience.

And it doesn't have to be something super difficult. I realized after my divorce a decade ago that due to all the hours I had spent working I was a bit of a shit dad and didn't really have a great relationship with my kids.

One of the best things I did was started a "family game night" every week. Bought a handful of board games and each Saturday we'd sit down with pizza and games. No cellphones at the table. It was a huge success for us. It allowed us to learn new things together and it helped build a foundation for us all to grow from. Even now with all but one of my kids grown, when we get together games are brought out and we have a blast. Nowadays I'm teaching my grandson to play some simple ones and can't wait for him to join in.

Re: Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?

#325

Post by npteljes »

ilololed wrote: post #321
npteljes wrote: post #317

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No, according to the hedonic treadmill theory, people in general have a tendency to return to their own previous happiness level. The hedonic threadmill doesn't say anyting about comparing happiness levels across individuals. So how should we treat chronically ill people? As I have some in my circles, and would actually appreciate insight.

Exactly, so if you're well, but then you contract a chronic illness, one that leaves you in constant pain, you'll eventually "return to your own previous happiness level" right? So no big deal?

Set aside the hedonic treadmill for a minute. Let's suppose it's bullshit.

What remains in your opinion? What do you tell to a chronically ill person?

Re: Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?

#326

Post by jakobov »

cornflower wrote: post #310
jakobov wrote: post #112

I was in the same situation, but even better. I was making $350,000/yr, promoted to software architect of a 100 person team, was working on interesting problems, was well liked by everyone in the office, had lots of good friends at work, and only needed to work a few hours a day, was able to decide what projects I wanted to work on.... it was a dream. I quit to join a startup. Huge mistake. I quit the startup to take…

Do you mind sharing why joining startup was a mistake? I am in the similar position at the big company, and have been contemplating a similar change

Sure.

1) the pay was $100k, much less than i was previously making. Made me change my spending habits and reduced my quality of life 2) the office was depressing and dark 3) the ability to socialize at my office was greatly diminished due to a small team. I'm on the same wavelength as 10% of ppl so if there are only 20ppl at a company its slim pickings especially since most people are working from home. 4) I stopped believing in the product pretty quickly after joining as I learned more about it and the competitive landscape. Belief in the product was the only thing keeping me there and once that was dead i had no reason to stay 5) the CEO turned out to be an idiot and i did not want to put my future in his hands.

If you can work at a FAANG-like company it's a REALLY good deal. A startup can't offer the same perks, security, work-life-balance and freedom that FAANG can.

My new thinking is that if you are unhappy working on something, switching to something else that is similar is only a temporary fix. Maybe switching to really different career that helps other people will provide a long term solution, but i doubt it. Most likely the issue is your attitude, perspective and personality.

What are you really craving? What emotional state are you craving that you are not getting? Excitement, Love, Fame, Appreciation? Dig in and think if you really will be able to get that state sustainably at a different place.

You want changes in order to change your emotional state but what you really need to do is learn how to control your emotional state. That is what you should be working on.

But maybe don't listen to me, I have not figured it out yet, I am still not happy :)

Re: Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?

#328

Post by cornflower »

jakobov wrote: post #326
cornflower wrote: post #310

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Do you mind sharing why joining startup was a mistake? I am in the similar position at the big company, and have been contemplating a similar change

Sure. 1) the pay was $100k, much less than i was previously making. Made me change my spending habits and reduced my quality of life 2) the office was depressing and dark 3) the ability to socialize at my office was greatly diminished due to a small team. I'm on the same wavelength as 10% of ppl so if there are only 20ppl at a company its slim pickings especially since most people are working from home. 4) I stopped…

Thank you for your reply! Can relate to the questions you are asking yourself. Hope you figure it out :)

Re: Tell HN: I have the perfect job, why is it not enough?

#329

Post by jakobov »

cornflower wrote: post #328
jakobov wrote: post #326

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sure. 1) the pay was $100k, much less than i was previously making. Made me change my spending habits and reduced my quality of life 2) the office was depressing and dark 3) the ability to socialize at my office was greatly diminished due to a small team. I'm on the same wavelength as 10% of ppl so if there are only 20ppl at a company its slim pickings especially since most people are working from home. 4) I stopped…

Thank you for your reply! Can relate to the questions you are asking yourself. Hope you figure it out :)

Thanks buddy. Hope you figure it out as well. Feel free to reach out if you figure something out @zoharjakobovski on twitter
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