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Sex is going out of fashion?

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Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#541

Post by greedo »

bko wrote: post #25
ChuckNorris89 wrote: post #3

I don't think tech or porn is the main culprit. It's that people now have way more entertainment options other than sex. Of course, a lot for those entertainment options are being driven by tech. Back in my dad's days, they were poor so the only entertainment options in their free time was drinking cheap home made alcohol, dancing and sex, while now we have gaming, Netflix, tic-tok, porn, traveling to the infinite In…

Entertainment has entered a tyranny of choice. I see it personally. I can watch nearly every show and movie that was ever created but I still flip through Netflix and RT endlessly, often times choosing not to watch anything. When I was younger I would just watch Seinfeld re-runs, with commercials and all. Am I more "entertained" today than I was when I was growing up? I'm not convinced. The weirdest thing is I don't…

My HS era was pre-Internet as well. My circle of friends talked about sports, and girls. And Star Wars every now and then, and then back to sports and girls. Every once in a while nuclear annihilation would come up (Reagan 80's baby!), but eventually existential dread would dissipate until it was time to talk about college.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#542

Post by CodeSgt »

yamazakiwi wrote: post #521
CodeSgt wrote: post #198

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I understand what you're trying to convey and I'm sorry but it's just not true. Brain scans show the pathways for porn addiction are very similar to those found in cocain and amphetamine addicts. Perhaps this is true for you, but don't discredit porn addiction as not a "real addiction" when it's an established fact that it is one on par with substance abuse.

Established fact? You are trying to make a porn addiction appear as bad as a meth addiction and that is just not based in reality. The outcomes and damage of substance abuse are more severe and should not be conflated.

The established fact is that porn addiction utilizes the same nuerological pathways as substance addiction.

I said nothing of the outcomes, though I wouldn't be so sure. We don't have any data on the outcomes of porn addiction. I wonder how many young men have committed suicide in large part due to their porn addiction, or how many have lost their jobs. It's certainly a non-zero number.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#543

Post by fknorangesite »

mmastrac wrote: post #290
rowanG077 wrote: post #269

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Isn't MGTOW a self-improvement sub?

If it started that way, it probably ended up going down the incel hole. It's banned now, obviously.

> If it started that way

It didn't. In this pipeline, the incels are an earlier stage; MGTOW is for the incels that (ostensibly) are giving up on women entirely. Of course in practice they do no such thing - instead they focus even harder on blaming women for their problems.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#544

Post by belorn »

treis wrote: post #424
belorn wrote: post #347

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You list men as the reason why people have less sex, but unless women is having a lot of more sex with other women to compensate the numbers, it is both women and men that is having less sex and it could be either gender or both that is causing the trend. It is jumping to conclusions to assume that only men determine if the world population is going to have sex or not. Personally I would blame social media much more…

>You list men as the reason why people have less sex, but unless women is having a lot of more sex with other women to compensate the numbers, Fewer men are sleeping with more women.

The source for the article cites both women and men. That said, if it is also true that fewer men are sleeping with more women then the cause of this can also be attributed to the choice of the women than the choice of men.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#545

Post by CodeSgt »

juve1996 wrote: post #528
CodeSgt wrote: post #403

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Again I really wish more data was collected on this You obviously know the answer to your question since I repeatedly stressed my lack of data and how it was anecdotal. We don't have any data either supporting or debunking that claim, I only am repeating what I've seen play out hundreds of time in various digital spaces. Some phenomena just haven't been studied in good enough detail to have hard data in either dire…

Saying you wish there was more data doesn't imply that there is no data, so I figured I'd ask if there was something. I think anecdotally you may be right. But preference is a very hard thing to determine. It's unfair to compare porn to sex the same way it is unfair to compare watching a sport to playing it. One requires very little effort, the other monumental effort comparatively.

> Saying you wish there was more data doesn't imply that there is no data, so I figured I'd ask if there was something

Ah yeah, fair enough. My mistake.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#546

Post by whynotminot »

corrral wrote: post #538
BlargMcLarg wrote: post #173

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You need to put more nuance on what a "willing partner" means, as it's incredibly important. Many stories I hear regarding "willing partner left aside for porn" boil down to a passive person expecting their partner to just pick up on clues while having a history of being denied and making zero effort to overcome it. Or worse, a passive, submissive person expecting men to just push their way through any resistance and…

> Or worse, a passive, submissive person expecting men to just push their way through any resistance and keep trying, when men are actively taught to respect a woman's boundaries. Not to go into too much detail, but I've had to seriously recalibrate my "respect women" upbringing to make my wife happy. And I'm not even talking sub/dom stuff or outright rape-fantasy things like I've heard tell of from my (somewhat shel…

I have to admit this part is hard for me to process. I know on an intellectual level that real life and fantasy are different things.

But it's really hard to hear all day long from every source how terrible men are, and how we need to be gentler creatures.

And then a shocking percentage of women actually do seem to want you to be that animal they decry as soon as you get into the bedroom.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#547

Post by jjav »

hellisothers wrote: post #491
davidktr wrote: post #477

Earlier quoted context omitted.

All of this so much. My problem though is that I just don't know which IRL community to join. I've tried a few, it was not for me. Our hackerspace is heavily into identity politics, which I'm not. So I end up reading books, which is fine too I guess. I'm just not really part of society.

I’m also going through this and there are a lot of (weird) spaces out there, latest example: archery club. I’m currently looking into what it takes to break into 24h of Lemons which is dirt cheap amateur car racing and partying with nerds who like cars.

> break into 24h of Lemons

Highly recommended fun. I owned a LeMons car with a group of friends for 4-5 years, tons of fun.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#548

Post by enobrev »

wonderwonder wrote: post #503
weatherlite wrote: post #421

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I am happily married but have zero friends Are you sure this is entirely the modern lifestyle's fault? When I look deeply into my past I realize I messed up high school and college a bit socially (for various reasons) and that's the time most people acquire their best friends. I have 1-2 good friends but I'm pretty sure it's on me its not more than that. Perhaps you went through something similar? The real annoying…

Its probably my fault. Once I had kids I completely lost the ability to manage them and a social life. I felt bad just leaving my wife to go hang out with friends and then as they got older I have replaced IRL friends with doom scrolling. Definitely a mental thing I need to fix. I did delete twitter the other day so that's one small step :)

I'm a parent of a 2.5yo. What I've learned from other parents around me is to make _sure_ both parents maintain their social lives. I strongly encourage my spouse to call a friend and get out the house at least once every couple weeks, and then I do the same.

It's so easy to forget that relationships require maintenance and having them keeps us both sane - especially when things get hard.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#549

Post by heresie-dabord »

thecoppinger wrote: post #402
heresie-dabord wrote: post #372

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> people now have way more entertainment options other than sex Another way to consider this is that people find it easier to divert themselves than to exert themselves only to be disappointed. (Think of the universal pain of the characters in "Marty". [1]) Even though the cost to "view" people has been cheapened by technology, what we find is that disappointment remains the likeliest outcome. The article is written…

> Another way to consider this is that people find it easier to divert themselves than to exert themselves only to be dissappointed. This is an exceptionally succinct description of the problem, thank you. A societal shift from exertion to diversion. Creation to consumption. Scary stuff. > the illusions of Bernaysian manipulation [2] certainly can What do you mean here, in reference to Bernays? For context, I’m famil…

Hello friend ^_^

By "Bernaysian" I mean much of what is discussed in that documentary by Adam Curtis. The out-sized notion of self in pursuit of the baubles, bangles, and beads of a glorified pageant of passion and love.

When two such highly-conditioned specimens meet, they probably will reject each other. Or if not, they will test each other's endurance in the illusion.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#550

Post by webinvest »

derbOac wrote: post #254
orangepurple wrote: post #154

Earlier quoted context omitted.

They are only worth using as a man if you are ranked in the top 10% of superficial appearances. Those guys are going on dates with different women daily with these apps. If you don't believe me look up any YouTube video going undercover on Tinder masquerading as an attractive man. The thing is Tinder has 75 million active users. If we assume 75% of these active users are men, and only the top 10% of men will reliably…

There were some really interesting analyses presented by a dating app several years ago (I don't remember which; they had a blog and I'm worried it's now buried outside of Google's apparent time window). One of the most interesting things was that there was a mismatch between men and women in interest versus openness and confidence. I don't remember the details, but I think the problem was something like women were m…

Maybe okcupid’s blogs by Christian Rudder? Probably only available on Archive.org
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