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Sex is going out of fashion?

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Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#461

Post by havblue »

marttt wrote: post #210

I think more of thoughtful physical intimacy ( not porn ) in relationships would be a massive treatment for the depression epidemic modern world seems to suffer from. A contemporary poet and philosopher from my country considered eroticism the key to what he calls "ecological asceticism": physical intimacy and tenderness requires "no more energy than digging in your planting bed", but it forces us to attune to anothe…

People saying they're lonely doesn't typically result in others being able to do something about it though. I mean, certainly more empathy is needed towards people who feel that they need more intimacy. The other side of the coin is getting people to desire them though.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#462

Post by 3qz »

hemloc_io wrote: post #435
3qz wrote: post #404

The harsh reality is that around 30% of men are completely unfuckable. They only got action because women needed to be married because they couldn’t support themselves. Ugly men have 0 value in the dating market beyond money.

I really just don’t believe that Even in like 2000s when this trend started? I was a kid so maybe it was harder for women then but really? There are lots of ugly women too, who are they going to date?

> who are they going to date?

Nobody. They all have casual sex with the same 20% of guys then cry when they can’t make him commit

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#463

Post by irrational »

CoastalCoder wrote: post #49
lumost wrote: post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I do wonder if the act of dating has gotten substantially less fun than it was in the past. At least if you go to a bar/concert/activity you may have fun and make plutonic friends, messaging random people on a dating site seems much more depressing.

> plutonic friends Did you mean "Platonic friends"? Although it sounds kinda nice to have Plutonic friends as well, since they'd have yachts and what not.

Oh, I thought it meant friends from the planet Pluto.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#464

Post by UkrainianJew »

40acres wrote: post #264

*In the west. I think gender equality may be a big culprit. Take the US for example: women will dominate the college educated class soon if they haven't already, and with that economic freedom comes more optionality in choosing a partner, there are more choices to be had and there will be a self selection of the most desirable men (typically college educated as it correlates to income). This is not to blame women in…

You are forgetting the strong anti-male sentiment throughout the education system. Toxic masculinity this, male privilege that.

Women get graduated thinking that investing your time in your own family and kids is slavery, but living paycheck-to-paycheck in a rented condo, ready to be laid off on a whim is true freedom.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#465

Post by metalliqaz »

throwaway892238 wrote: post #330

Cool? If you're not making a baby, sex is mostly a meaningless waste of time. Would rather be focused on a productive pursuit, as opposed to how I can get someone to squish their body against my body for endorphins. I mean, when you get down to it, if the point of sex is 'cuz it feels good', why not just take drugs, or skydive, or eat an entire pepperoni pizza? Less chance of disease, you don't have to make yourself…

You don't seem to understand what it's fore. It isn't just for procreation, or for 'endorphins', as you say. Interpersonal connection is important. Closeness with another person.

Pull the foil off your windows, go outside, and make a connection with another human. It's good for you.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#466

Post by weatherlite »

andi999 wrote: post #430
weatherlite wrote: post #421

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I am happily married but have zero friends Are you sure this is entirely the modern lifestyle's fault? When I look deeply into my past I realize I messed up high school and college a bit socially (for various reasons) and that's the time most people acquire their best friends. I have 1-2 good friends but I'm pretty sure it's on me its not more than that. Perhaps you went through something similar? The real annoying…

Modern lifestyle includes moving to different cities.

So this still comes down to our inability to make friends past our 30s... we move more than in the past but its definitely not a new phenomenon.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#467

Post by maximus-decimus »

Markoff wrote: post #212
maximus-decimus wrote: post #108

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's the Lust one.

That's not really sex, is it? Or every good Christian having children is commiting sin when procreating? How do Christians procreate without sex, through the prayer and then some holy mother come to their house and bring child? You can have lust without sex, though it's quite unplesant to have sex without lust.

You're supposed to have sex to have kids but don't you dare enjoy it!

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#468

Post by eropple »

lucaspm98 wrote: post #439
eropple wrote: post #388

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'd bet that how much money you have (beyond a low bar of "enough") matters a lot less for the American dating pool than being able to make somebody laugh.

One hypothesis of a contributor to falling marriage rates is that as women's income potential has risen there's still a standard (whether cultural or innate) for them to marry "up" economically. Therefore, there's a growing demographic shortage of economically attractive male partners in the U.S. marriage market. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/jomf.12603

To me a rather more reasonable take than "women are coached or born to flock to money" is "the world is going to hell, economic precarity is making it scarier to tie two people to a particular geography for work, and the future looks grim enough that having kids is probably a bad idea, so why get married?".

My priors probably differ from yours, though.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#469

Post by brewdad »

youessayyyaway wrote: post #153
buggythebug wrote: post #92

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"It's also boring" "These threads are always fun, because they often say more about us commenters than the subject matter." I will not quote anything else from you and leave it at that.

I stand by it. If you do find sex to be the most fulfilling part of your life, it might be worth asking where that sense of fulfillment comes from. It's probably a "who", not a "what".

There's a whole lot of real estate between "most fulfilling part of your life" and "boring".

If you find sex boring, you probably need to take a look at yourself or maybe find a different partner. Sex is rarely mind-blowingly great after your first few times but I can't say I've ever been bored by it.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#470

Post by MisterBastahrd »

nnoitra wrote: post #98
ChuckNorris89 wrote: post #3

I don't think tech or porn is the main culprit. It's that people now have way more entertainment options other than sex. Of course, a lot for those entertainment options are being driven by tech. Back in my dad's days, they were poor so the only entertainment options in their free time was drinking cheap home made alcohol, dancing and sex, while now we have gaming, Netflix, tic-tok, porn, traveling to the infinite In…

It's unfortunately a lot sadder than that. You'd be suprised at the amount of males that want to have sex but just can't get any. There is a serious case of looks inflation nowadays with Tinder etc.

I'm not surprised when you look at the quality of 20ish year old males. They expect sex to just fall in their laps without doing anything like learning to socialize or being interesting.
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