Sex is going out of fashion?

That type of selection would take way too long to manifest and make an actual difference in population numbers.

I'm going to out myself a bit by making this comment, but I want to just say that you dismissing these comments as being "incel type" and saying that it's much ado about nothing is unfair and inaccurate. You are missing important context, and likely have a varied experience compared to these other people.

I was a home-owner at 26, make an outsized income compared to both the national average and my local average, am well-traveled, educated, and by conventional standards am at average or slightly above average attractiveness. Despite all of this, I had an absolutely horrible time with dating until I was in my 30s. I am now married to a wonderful woman I met 5 years ago through a dating app, after years of frustration.

The main thing I discovered in this journey is:

1. Older men (but not too old, 30s/40s) get better traction than younger men (teens, 20s), even if you are an outlier in success as a younger man

2. Women have a vastly different assessment of attractiveness than men do. There is TONS of data to support this, and it's basically incontrovertible at this point. I don't know if dating apps caused it, or it just revealed it, but women basically have a Pareto distribution of how they judge attractiveness. Only 20% of men pass the filter, the remaining 80% are never going to get a response. Men have a much more normal distribution (follows a bell curve) in how they view attractiveness.

3. The two things above mean that a (relatively) small number of men have success, and don't see the problem, while a (relatively) large amount of men are left out in the cold.

You might think my 3 points above sound "incel type", yet I'm a married guy who absolutely supports the rights of women and their equality in society. This is not about politics, this is not about misogyny, this is not about frustration turning to anger. This is about the facts and the lived experience of millions of people, especially younger people, and how it drives societal trends. I watch many of friends who also work in tech struggling still even in their 30s because they are conventionally less attractive than I am, despite being better than me in other ways (smarter, more financially successful), and these are by the general standards of the day successful and stable people who cannot find a relationship. People who are farther down the income and intelligence curve struggle even further. This article didn't come out of nowhere, and this issue isn't only in the US. All over the OECD we are seeing falling birth rates, falling marriage rates, and self-reported reductions in sexual activity and relationships.

What this means for society and our future, I don't know, but it will certainly mean a change of some kind. Sticking your head in the sand and deriding the people stating these things clearly does not do anything to understand or address this situation. If you personally faced no challenges in using online dating, then I would put forward that you are probably privileged in some way you don't realize and that your experience is unusual, rather than being the norm.

One challenge many people haven't even mentioned yet in these comment threads is that online dating is fundamentally not a very good way to approach finding a relationship, and there is a different between "dating" for hookups and dating for finding a relationship. Most people are not satisfied with hookups, even when they can get them, and would prefer the more meaningful relationship. There are thankfully a few better apps in that direction, but as a general case an app is not a good basis for selecting someone to know on a deeper level, as apps emphasize the most shallow and curated view of people rather than the process of meeting people organically through shared activities. When I was dating, I found far more success organically meeting people vs using apps, despite the fact that I ended up meeting my wife through an app.

This doesn't just affect dating, it effects all sorts of relationships. We've decided somehow as a society to intermediate a screen between us and other people in nearly every single situation, and this form of communication is inherently lossy and biased towards appearances over realities, and it has caused a structural loss of community and the actual social skills in people necessary to meet and create connections. To look at our society as it currently sits, see the trend line of where it's going, and then to deride the people pointing it out as "incel type" seems deeply naive if not pernicious.

Yep. Look up pig woman or that one experiment where they called Eggy “Christine”

Women get bombarded with offers for sex when they put in 0 effort. Why blame men for not trying? If you have to try then it’s already over..

Courtship has been out of fashion for years, so it's not much of a surprise that sex has followed suit. Once upon a time before the age of the internet, people had a limited amount of interests to pursue, popular culture was limited to 4 TV channels and about 10 radio stations, and they kept in mind the fact that being in a relationship requires both parties to find mutual interests to enjoy together. You shouldn't expect sex from another person if you can't even figure out how to be friends with them, and you shouldn't HAVE sex with them if you don't enjoy each other's company on a regular basis.

Nowadays we have funkopop wielding weebs trying to find their perfect waifu while girls are obsessing over Korean boy bands who barely speak their own language. There's no interest overlap. People don't even try.

People are simultaneously too picky and not picky enough. I know a woman who will date a man across the country but won't date one who is under 5'11" or over 6'3". The reasoning? She's 5'8" and wants to be able to wear heels.

And while I will never set foot in a church again unless it's for a wedding or funeral, denominational association did a decent job of figuring out what the foundations of people's morality and culture is. It's hard for a Southern Baptist to understand the whats and whys of Roman Catholicism, for example. By the same token, part of the reason that we've culturally evolved rites of inclusion is so that people feel included... and we are now abandoning them because it's easy to sit in a cave staring at a tiny screen while ordering from doordash and amazon than it is to deal with our fellow humans.