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Sex is going out of fashion?

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Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#391

Post by jfabre »

40acres wrote: post #264

*In the west. I think gender equality may be a big culprit. Take the US for example: women will dominate the college educated class soon if they haven't already, and with that economic freedom comes more optionality in choosing a partner, there are more choices to be had and there will be a self selection of the most desirable men (typically college educated as it correlates to income). This is not to blame women in…

Most men don't care about how much a woman makes. It might be a nice thing to have, but it's surely not a requirement. All other things equal, a rich woman has less options than a poor woman, because women typically don't want to settle for a guy who makes less money than them. Women date up or equal to them in regards to status and wealth and, of course, there are exceptions like everything in life.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#392

Post by dfxm12 »

rtpg wrote: post #81
natly wrote: post #27

The comments in this thread and this article is making me want to read HN less. (What a crazy incorrect take for most of the population.)

The reversion to the mean here just reminds me of stuff I would read on 4chan back in the day as a high school student. Many of my friends in those environments grew up, figured out how to navigate society a bit better, and stopped saying this kind of stuff. But these threads are a reminder that loads of people didn’t.

I dunno, don't discount that maybe there's a number of high schoolers on here. I forget sometimes that anyone can be on the other side of these posts.

That very few people are mentioning things like the AIDS epidemic (and the abstinence only education that came from it), plus the conservative effort to censor sex positive media from organizations in the 80s-90s like moral majority, PTC (probably in response to the free love of the 70s), etc., is telling that they didn't live through it.

Or maybe they're just intentionally ignoring it, I dunno, but young adults today are a product of this.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#393

Post by cupofpython »

threeseed wrote: post #122
lumost wrote: post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I do wonder if the act of dating has gotten substantially less fun than it was in the past. At least if you go to a bar/concert/activity you may have fun and make plutonic friends, messaging random people on a dating site seems much more depressing.

> I do wonder if the act of dating has gotten substantially less fun than it was in the past I wonder if people are simply more selective about what they want in a partner. Which sort of lines up with the polarisation we see in other aspects of society. And so they go into dating with much higher expectations and less open-mindedness.

possibly related. When you are forced to look at someones data sheet to decide on them rather than see them in public being themselves - it seems natural to get sucked into coming up with check-lists on a bunch of qualities you otherwise would not have actually cared about as a means of simplifying your choosing process

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#394

Post by omnicognate »

freiherr wrote: post #331

Ignoring the content, the writing style was extremely annoying. Anyone else with similar feelings?

Yep, to the extent the content was hard to discern. I am unclear what point the article is even trying to make.

The second paragraph was eye-watering:

> Say what you want about old people but they've merited the historical "Baby Boom" through sheer sexual prowess

The "Baby Boomers" were the product of the baby boom, not the instigators of it. The ones having the baby boom sex were their parents, the "Greatest Generation", who are now almost all dead.

> Now generations have to be named after backside alphabet letters cause everyone is focusing on their careers.

I assume this is a reference to "Generation Alpha". In what sense is Greek a "backside alphabet"? More confusingly, are they claiming a lack of sex has something to do with running out of Roman alphabet characters? I'm pretty sure no amount of procreation will make more letters.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#395

Post by wonderwonder »

Wonder if this is related to the lack of personal relationships in general, especially friendships. There is an epidemic of loneliness in the world. So many ways to communicate and all we can do is post memes and upvote influencers.

I am happily married but have zero friends. I met my wife through my friend group in college. If I heaven forbid got a divorce tomorrow, not sure where I would meet someone new. Guess I would have to try online dating. Would things get strange if I hit it off with someone and she asked to meet my friends and I said I have none?

Humanity is going through a very real loss of social interaction and replacing it with doom scrolling, porn and endless streaming options. I think social media is one aspect of this but specifically pay per click advertising is the root and is also the driver of our political division. It has become so adept at capturing our attention we have abandoned living.

Edit: Remote work absolutely compounds this and while it makes it easier to manage personal chores and family it absolutely removes all social interaction and the daily experience of just having a normal in person conversation. Working remotely my coworkers are just names on a zoom call in a 30 minute standup. Have created mental blocks now where I wonder how I could handle the kids and chores while working in an office but millions of people do it every day.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#396

Post by idrios »

webinvest wrote: post #213
orangepurple wrote: post #192

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I completely agree with you. It can be difficult to find meaningful long term relationships on Tinder for women as well. There is no denying that. I think the chances are best with a cold approach or a warm introduction.

But many women on Tinder and Bumble aren’t looking for a relationship. When I fill in the “Looking For” parameter with “Relationship” instead of leaving it blank on Bumble, my incoming like count would drop by 40% percent. When I’d remove that parameter, my likes would go back up.

But now you know the other 60% of people still liking you are probably looking for a relationship.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#397

Post by throwaway2037 »

prmoustache wrote: post #323
nnoitra wrote: post #98

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's unfortunately a lot sadder than that. You'd be suprised at the amount of males that want to have sex but just can't get any. There is a serious case of looks inflation nowadays with Tinder etc.

Well you can't really get laid if you spend day and night playing video games and binge watching series. Every time I broke up I was mildly welcoming some time for myself but never managed to be single more than a handful of weeks. And I don't consider myself particularly more attractive/interesting than everybody out there.

I don't play video games, and I don't binge watch series, but why would this exlude women/gender-non-binary? They can and do enjoy both. And they could enjoy both with someone else. After all, what is the meaning of "Netflix and Chill"? I know many women who wish to do the same with another person, and that person need not look like Brad Pitt, et al.

Perhaps I am reading too deep, but you make it sound like someone needs to make some great effort to meet someone else. No, just a slight hiccup in their daily routine can introduce them to another person whom has very similar, low energy interests. Think: Buzzfeed dating videos from 5 years ago.

See: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzDFKJHczQ8

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#398

Post by csee »

eropple wrote: post #379
csee wrote: post #355

Earlier quoted context omitted.

For the top few percent of men.

Touching the poop in these threads is always a bad idea. And this is more to the passer-by who might be reading and thinking that the person to whom I am replying is onto something (edited; I don't think 'csee is being disingenuous). In these sorts of claims, "the top few percent" is never actually defined, and it means that folks who do quite well for themselves but aren't unironically studly chads have to be cut ou…

You give good advice but I was commenting on the well documented asymmetry and inequality in outcomes that cut across gender lines which are likely magnified by these dating apps. It's not bitterness to point out objective facts that are highly relevant to the topic of conversation. "Improve yourself" is always the healthiest mindset on a personal level but that's not exactly deep analysis on the impact that these apps are having on our society or the lives of lower ranked men.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#399

Post by gavinray »

CodeSgt wrote: post #101
ChuckNorris89 wrote: post #3

I don't think tech or porn is the main culprit. It's that people now have way more entertainment options other than sex. Of course, a lot for those entertainment options are being driven by tech. Back in my dad's days, they were poor so the only entertainment options in their free time was drinking cheap home made alcohol, dancing and sex, while now we have gaming, Netflix, tic-tok, porn, traveling to the infinite In…

I think that all the things you listed are definitely culprits, but I wouldn't be so quick to discount porn. Anecdotally, I myself and many otherwise healthy, sociable young men I know have pretty serious porn addictions. I really wish there would be more research done on the negative impacts of pornography, especially on young men and teens/pre-teens. I know typically any anti-porn sentiment is met with "Oh you're j…

Does anyone here have the opposite problem -- porn desensitization?

I found 4Chan when I was maybe 11 or so and grew up on /b/ where I saw all manner of horrific deaths and shock porn.

Nowadays I don't really find the idea of porn interesting because I've seen so much of it.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#400

Post by standardUser »

jbrun wrote: post #21

Population implosion is going to be the biggest problem of our lives. It is one of those issues that creeps up progressively (like Global Warming), but will have cataclysmic impacts. Sex is a precursor to relationships and kids, if people don't have sex... Imagine 80% of the population is elderly and retired (or want to be retired) - that is where the world is heading by the end of the century. From 2018: https://www…

As long as the US remains a desirable destination for immigrants this won't be a catastrophic problem.
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