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Sex is going out of fashion?

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Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#401

Post by [deleted] »

belorn wrote: post #347
CodeSgt wrote: post #101

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think that all the things you listed are definitely culprits, but I wouldn't be so quick to discount porn. Anecdotally, I myself and many otherwise healthy, sociable young men I know have pretty serious porn addictions. I really wish there would be more research done on the negative impacts of pornography, especially on young men and teens/pre-teens. I know typically any anti-porn sentiment is met with "Oh you're j…

You list men as the reason why people have less sex, but unless women is having a lot of more sex with other women to compensate the numbers, it is both women and men that is having less sex and it could be either gender or both that is causing the trend. It is jumping to conclusions to assume that only men determine if the world population is going to have sex or not. Personally I would blame social media much more…

[deleted]

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#402

Post by thecoppinger »

heresie-dabord wrote: post #372
ChuckNorris89 wrote: post #3

I don't think tech or porn is the main culprit. It's that people now have way more entertainment options other than sex. Of course, a lot for those entertainment options are being driven by tech. Back in my dad's days, they were poor so the only entertainment options in their free time was drinking cheap home made alcohol, dancing and sex, while now we have gaming, Netflix, tic-tok, porn, traveling to the infinite In…

> people now have way more entertainment options other than sex Another way to consider this is that people find it easier to divert themselves than to exert themselves only to be disappointed. (Think of the universal pain of the characters in "Marty". [1]) Even though the cost to "view" people has been cheapened by technology, what we find is that disappointment remains the likeliest outcome. The article is written…

> Another way to consider this is that people find it easier to divert themselves than to exert themselves only to be dissappointed.

This is an exceptionally succinct description of the problem, thank you. A societal shift from exertion to diversion. Creation to consumption. Scary stuff.

> the illusions of Bernaysian manipulation [2] certainly can

What do you mean here, in reference to Bernays? For context, I’m familiar with his work and legacy — the documentary ‘The Century of the Self’[1] is still perhaps the most important piece of media I’ve ever consumed.

[1] https://youtube.com/watch?v=eJ3RzGoQC4s

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#403

Post by CodeSgt »

juve1996 wrote: post #356
CodeSgt wrote: post #166

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Obviously, everyone prefers the real thing to porn. That makes intuitive sense, but is far from the reality. Many men, even in otherwise healthy relationships, prefer porn. Again I really wish more data was collected on this but anecdotally I've seen hundreds on online discussions from both women who are concerned about their partner and declining sex life and from men who want to quit using porn to better service…

>Many men, even in otherwise healthy relationships, prefer porn. Do you have data of this phenomenon?

> Again I really wish more data was collected on this

You obviously know the answer to your question since I repeatedly stressed my lack of data and how it was anecdotal.

We don't have any data either supporting or debunking that claim, I only am repeating what I've seen play out hundreds of time in various digital spaces. Some phenomena just haven't been studied in good enough detail to have hard data in either direction. A lack of data for an assertion doesn't disprove that assertion, it just makes it temporarily unprovable.

I'm sure the majority of men in healthy relationship prefer sex with their partner to porn. I'm also sure there are a non-trivial amount who do prefer porn.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#404

Post by 3qz »

The harsh reality is that around 30% of men are completely unfuckable. They only got action because women needed to be married because they couldn’t support themselves. Ugly men have 0 value in the dating market beyond money.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#405

Post by cholantesh »

huijzer wrote: post #270
kbrannigan wrote: post #138

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Get of these apps. I think many men who use apps, do so because they are too afraid to approach a woman they find attractive if the situation is appropriate. They don't bite, if you make a move with enough respect and confidence. In my opinion while convenient, they should be last resort.

> Get of these apps. I think many men who use apps, do so because they are too afraid to approach a woman they find attractive if the situation is appropriate. Yes. I couldn't agree more. Spent 2-3 frustrating years on Tinder without much success. At the start of the pandemic, I was done with being alone in my apartment and decided to try to approach women on the street. My takeaways: 1. Heart rate goes over 130 (acc…

>go out and talk to people

This thesis is sound.

>Get inspiration/courage from watching lots and lots of YouTube videos from people who do nice approaches. I personally liked ThatWasEpic a lot. See for example https://youtu.be/cj9tvIFcUeU.

This is just weird, though.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#406

Post by bgroat »

idealmedtech wrote: post #308
skohan wrote: post #274

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not only entertainment suffers from a tyranny of choice, but also sex and relationships. I heard in an interview that 50 years ago, people used to basically used to fall in love with heir neighbours and coworkers. Modern dating means browsing hundreds of other people in your city like they're products on a store shelf, always with the feeling there might be someone better just a couple swipes away.

I see this explanation of the grind of online dating a lot, and I think it misses a more fundamental point: people fundamentally are pretty terrible at talking to strangers. Without conversational skills, a vast majority of online dating conversations simply fizzle out; often times simply due to disinterest, but I think almost always due to a lack of ability to hold a conversation and be both interesting and interest…

Years ago my Dad wanted to try online dating and I strongly discouraged it.

"Dad, you're old (in his 60s), and short (5'5")"

You're going to be filtered out of everyone's automated search.

But my Dad is funny and can talk to anyone. I kept telling him, OkCupid isn't your scene! Meetup.com is!

Unfortunately, he didn't listen to me

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#407

Post by standardUser »

throwaway892238 wrote: post #330

Cool? If you're not making a baby, sex is mostly a meaningless waste of time. Would rather be focused on a productive pursuit, as opposed to how I can get someone to squish their body against my body for endorphins. I mean, when you get down to it, if the point of sex is 'cuz it feels good', why not just take drugs, or skydive, or eat an entire pepperoni pizza? Less chance of disease, you don't have to make yourself…

May be of interest to anyone reading this comment: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asexuality

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#409

Post by mejutoco »

bko wrote: post #25
ChuckNorris89 wrote: post #3

I don't think tech or porn is the main culprit. It's that people now have way more entertainment options other than sex. Of course, a lot for those entertainment options are being driven by tech. Back in my dad's days, they were poor so the only entertainment options in their free time was drinking cheap home made alcohol, dancing and sex, while now we have gaming, Netflix, tic-tok, porn, traveling to the infinite In…

Entertainment has entered a tyranny of choice. I see it personally. I can watch nearly every show and movie that was ever created but I still flip through Netflix and RT endlessly, often times choosing not to watch anything. When I was younger I would just watch Seinfeld re-runs, with commercials and all. Am I more "entertained" today than I was when I was growing up? I'm not convinced. The weirdest thing is I don't…

> I can watch nearly every show and movie that was ever created

I think this is an illusion. When I check some films with awards (let's say "do the right thing", not a blockbuster but a well-known film) I cannot find them in any streaming service (maybe criterion collection). I can definitely think of tons of tv shows I cannot find on dvd, let alone on streaming platforms. Not even on torrent networks.

This idea that the internet has everything is fine for some topics (like programming), but I believe it does not apply to some contents, and films are one of them.

EDIT: grammar

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#410

Post by throwaway561 »

throwaway98797 wrote: post #102
janmarsal wrote: post #10

I'd have sex everyday if women wanted me :D

good sex is like two hour affair with new people with related warm up and and cool down phase. Even if act is only 15 minutes. 14 hours a week a lot of time

Really depends on the person.
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