Sex is going out of fashion? • Hacker News Board

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#291

Post by tcmart14 » Tue, Jun 21, 2022, 2:57 PM UTC

saimiam wrote: post #228

figglestar wrote: post #181

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Young people in general are having less sex but young men are having a noteworthy amount less than young women. And the delta between the two groups is a new thing within the last 10 years or so.

So who are these (presumably primarily straight) young women having sex with?

A quick stab in the dark is a sugar daddy, older man, more established with more free disposable income. My only evidence to back this up is anecdotal, I have young parents. I am 28 and my dad is 46. Parents divorced a few years ago. My Dad works sales and makes a good chunk of money. He recently stopped going to bars because all the 20-some year old girls would hit on him and get a little too close for his comfort, which grosses him out because my sister is 26.

Edit: I found it funny when he was complaining to me about it because all I could thing of is that these girls probably don't know they are hitting on a guy with grandkids.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#292

Post by BlargMcLarg » Tue, Jun 21, 2022, 2:57 PM UTC

skohan wrote: post #274

bko wrote: post #25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Entertainment has entered a tyranny of choice. I see it personally. I can watch nearly every show and movie that was ever created but I still flip through Netflix and RT endlessly, often times choosing not to watch anything. When I was younger I would just watch Seinfeld re-runs, with commercials and all. Am I more "entertained" today than I was when I was growing up? I'm not convinced. The weirdest thing is I don't…

Not only entertainment suffers from a tyranny of choice, but also sex and relationships. I heard in an interview that 50 years ago, people used to basically used to fall in love with heir neighbours and coworkers. Modern dating means browsing hundreds of other people in your city like they're products on a store shelf, always with the feeling there might be someone better just a couple swipes away.

And that lack of initial investment also makes it harder to bridge gaps, as would normally happen. In the context of OLD, it also puts emphasis on very specific strengths whereas others are not visible until meeting up or spending more time.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#293

Post by hooby » Tue, Jun 21, 2022, 2:58 PM UTC

jbrun wrote: post #21

Population implosion is going to be the biggest problem of our lives. It is one of those issues that creeps up progressively (like Global Warming), but will have cataclysmic impacts. Sex is a precursor to relationships and kids, if people don't have sex... Imagine 80% of the population is elderly and retired (or want to be retired) - that is where the world is heading by the end of the century. From 2018: https://www…

> Population implosion is going to be the biggest problem of our lives.

While some current projections do predict a steep decline in population growth - it's still gonna take roughly a hundred years, just to reach zero growth. Which means we are looking at another 100 years of population actually still growing.

If the trend continues unchanged, and population growth goes negative, it would take another 100 years just to return to exactly the same population numbers that we do have today.

If the growth then grew even more negative for another 100 years, that's when you'd be able to talk about an population implosion - 300 years down the line. So no, I don't think there will be any implosion within our lives.

The problems you describe though - that's not implosion, but population aging and the economic problems that causes down the line. Those issues have been around in some countries for multiple decades already - and yes they are going to get worse. Still, growing population numbers to levels beyond what this planet can sustain just to keep the economy afloat does not seem like a well thought-through plan to me.

We will have to achieve zero population growth - and if the world economy can't take that... we really need to radically change the economy, not increase population growth again.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#294

Post by unethical_ban » Tue, Jun 21, 2022, 2:58 PM UTC

ChuckNorris89 wrote: post #3

I don't think tech or porn is the main culprit. It's that people now have way more entertainment options other than sex. Of course, a lot for those entertainment options are being driven by tech. Back in my dad's days, they were poor so the only entertainment options in their free time was drinking cheap home made alcohol, dancing and sex, while now we have gaming, Netflix, tic-tok, porn, traveling to the infinite In…

Tech, porn, and social media/lack of community are what I think the issues are. And your comment which I mostly agree with seems to contradict your first sentence. Everything you said (Gaming, endless video-on-demand, porn, social media, online dating, remote work) is enabled by technology. Ergo, tech /is/ the main culprit. Now, onto the post I originally typed:

I wonder if younger people know what it's like to go a week or two without orgasm. I don't know many teens/young adults, much less well enough to ask about sex culture. I came of age in the 2000s, when online porn was a thing, but not ubiquitous, not HD, and still taboo. I do know that deprivation of orgasm makes it that much better when it does happen, and it changes your mind in both increase of sexual drive, and for me, increase in the desire for true intimacy, rather than just an anxious need to get off. When I kick the habit, my interest in talking to women goes higher than normal, and not "simply" because I'd like sex - it's because my entire mind is changed to wanting intimacy and to meet people.

So ubiquity of porn and its normalization is a big factor in people not seeking true human contact.

I think that people are also becoming more and more shy/anxious in general, at least by my flawed observations. Between rapidly changing social cues/acceptable behavior, being constantly connected, etc., it is difficult for people to connect and disconnect appropriately.

I think about the pre-Internet era when people could maybe date or hook up, and if it didn't work, it was out of sight, out of mind. Now with social media, I see people staying connected despite falling out. Maybe out of curiosity, maybe thinking they can still be friends, but I think that the inability to have a clear head/fresh start makes things difficult.

At least in my area/life, there isn't a huge sense of community. It takes a lot of effort to find non-bar oriented things to do that has a decently high number of people attending, who are all interested in the same things, and where it's likely to find a person to date. Say what you want about religion, but church really does serve a valuable purpose when not used to direct people toward bigotry.

Gotta run to a meeting, this was a bit of a braindump, but the topic of human interaction and macro loneliness is an interesting topic, and a serious one that truly scares the shit out of me for my society and myself.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#295

Post by slategruen » Tue, Jun 21, 2022, 2:58 PM UTC

colpabar wrote: post #276

slategruen wrote: post #252

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Is gay sex going out of fashion too? Glad you pointed this out. As a bisexual guy, I'd like to give some input. Sex between homosexual men is definitely not getting out of fashion. As a lot of these dating apps encourage short-lived relationships, it incentivizes a lot of these men to not commit in relationships and just have "fun." On the other hand (note that this is only based on my experience), a lot of women s…

>I can't blame them though, it's part of human nature to aspire for more. I don’t even think it’s any kind of aspiration, it’s just that women are completely overloaded with matches. All the claims of “women pass 99% of the time” really don’t paint the whole picture, because in my experience men swipe right 99% of the time. Wouldn’t you also only pick the best of the best if you had hundreds of options?

It's just part of the game really. The only effective way to have women stay in these dating platforms is to make them somehow feel unsatisfied.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#296

Post by rcoveson » Tue, Jun 21, 2022, 2:58 PM UTC

ricardoplouis wrote: post #63

mcv wrote: post #54

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There is some biological connection between the two, though.

Yeah, I guess the bigger point being missed (by the article and most of the comments) is that there is a whole generation of people having sex but not having kids due to concerns for the future. (Myself included)

The future is still looking pretty bright relative to the rest of human history, unless the subset of people who are very concerned about the future choose not to have kids, in which case not so much.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#297

Post by chrismarlow9 » Tue, Jun 21, 2022, 2:59 PM UTC

bko wrote: post #251

chrismarlow9 wrote: post #135

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Podcasts changed the game for me on this. Now there are entire days where I never turn the TV on. A bonus is that I can get basic chores done while listening or workout. It really freed me from the couch potato routine. A bonus is that many of them are educational and released weekly, so "binge" isn't really an option. There are certainly "junk food" podcasts that I listen to but the ratio of informative to junk comp…

I too love podcasts but I don't think the educational ones necessarily teach me much. Listening is too passive, especially if you're doing other things. If I'm not following a book or paying close attention, I'll put the book down. But its easy with well produced podcasts and audio to just continue listening while zoning out. I've listened to hours on a subject but if you were to quiz me on that subject I would be cl…

For sure my retention is better with text on a page. I kept a journal for a while about what I learned that day and that worked somewhat well. For the computer ones it's really just a starting point to find things I wasn't even aware of and dive deeper.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#298

Post by leke » Tue, Jun 21, 2022, 2:59 PM UTC

The article doesn't really mention if the numbers are related to sexual partners or number of times the deed is performed. Many years ago, I remember my friend having "encounters" with many different women usually lasting one night. While I had only a few partners, but had much higher deeds.

I've noticed "the youth" in general are kind of like my friend. Not into settling down, but rather going for the variety. However, it takes a lot to hook up, even with apps like Tinder. Hence I think people are having less sex.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#299

Post by skohan » Tue, Jun 21, 2022, 2:59 PM UTC

scoutt wrote: post #255

saimiam wrote: post #228

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So who are these (presumably primarily straight) young women having sex with?

I learn from the comments here that if you line up 100 women and 100 men, all 100 women will have sex with only 5 of the guys. For which I don't think this is true at all...

I doubt the ratio is that extreme, but if the delta exists isn't the logical conclusion that a smaller subset of the men are having sex with a larger percentage of the women?

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#300

Post by Noos » Tue, Jun 21, 2022, 3:01 PM UTC

natly wrote: post #27

The comments in this thread and this article is making me want to read HN less. (What a crazy incorrect take for most of the population.)

The thing is, you may dislike the takes but they are in response to a real problem normies don't think about or would have any advice to give.

The solutions may be seen as bad or the takes as not good, but the problem still is very real, and for many people bad solutions are better than no solutions or the advice people give that doesn't work at all. Things like this should alert you to the fact something is wrong, not make you recoil from all the bad people.