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Sex is going out of fashion?

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Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#171

Post by xwdv »

kbrannigan wrote: post #138
orangepurple wrote: post #75

95% of Tinder swipes by women are passes compared to 47% for men. Women tend to date up. Online dating apps are rigged for men. These apps are search engines optimized to match women with the top 5% of men. These apps are designed for women. Being average or even above average will almost never result in a date. Tinder was designed like a slot machine which will ruin your self-esteem from constant rejection but your…

Get of these apps. I think many men who use apps, do so because they are too afraid to approach a woman they find attractive if the situation is appropriate. They don't bite, if you make a move with enough respect and confidence. In my opinion while convenient, they should be last resort.

I am willing to approach a woman I find attractive if the situation is appropriate. Unfortunately, most situations you come across attractive women are rarely appropriate. You end up having to go to events and things you don’t normally do just to gain exposure to women. It is a miserable reason to participate in these things when your only interest is in the women, not the event or hobby. And often the things you really want to do are of little interest to attractive women.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#172

Post by danbruc »

dmm wrote: post #80
pknopf wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

7% of all humans that ever existed, are alive today. We can afford a contraction.

The problem (mostly) isn't fewer people, it's an ever-increasing proportion of elderly. As long as total fertility is below replacement the proportion of elderly to working-age people increases /forever/.

/forever/

It's not that bleak, only until humans are extinct.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#173

Post by BlargMcLarg »

fttx_ wrote: post #148
ChuckNorris89 wrote: post #117

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yeah, but porn addiction is a consequence I think. If all men could get laid whenever they'd feel like it with a willing partner, then porn use would plummet. I haven't met many women into porn, probably because a one night stand is just a zero effort tinder swipe away, from the comfort of your pijamas in your living room. As a man, you end up turning to porn or paying for sex, or drinking or doing drugs, to compensa…

I don't believe that's it. Plenty of men in relationships with a "willing partner" use heaps of porn, and in many circumstances prefer using porn to sex. And yes, having _sex_ is only a swipe away for women. But having decent sex that you enjoy and is another matter altogether. And that's before thinking about safety. If I was looking for reasons why fewer women seem to be into porn, I'd say it's because the vast maj…

You need to put more nuance on what a "willing partner" means, as it's incredibly important. Many stories I hear regarding "willing partner left aside for porn" boil down to a passive person expecting their partner to just pick up on clues while having a history of being denied and making zero effort to overcome it. Or worse, a passive, submissive person expecting men to just push their way through any resistance and keep trying, when men are actively taught to respect a woman's boundaries.

For many of these "porn addiction" cases, there's more going on than just "he is addicted to porn and now he won't have sex with me". Communication is a two-way street and women are a little eager to play the 'passive princess who can do no wrong' without realizing most of society is training men to avoid making assumptions.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#174

Post by onepointsixC »

michaelbrooks wrote: post #106

I'd say the explosion of mental health and anxiety is playing a huge part in it as well. My wife and I would have a child if we knew we were stable and able to look after them properly. Also, with the wars, global warming and everything else that's happening right now, why would you want to bring a child into this?

The world has never been more prosperous, safer, and more able to address the issues of its day, ever. Wars have been a near constant factor of human history for nearly all written history, and yet today we enjoy more peace as a species than any other era. In the past few decades we've seen extreme poverty decline dramatically. And we've never had so many viable options for decarbonization.

When your parents had you, the world was decisively a worse place. Especially if you were born prior to 1989. Why wouldn't you want to bring a child into the objectively best times of human existence to date?

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#175

Post by silverpepsi »

nnoitra wrote: post #104
orangepurple wrote: post #75

95% of Tinder swipes by women are passes compared to 47% for men. Women tend to date up. Online dating apps are rigged for men. These apps are search engines optimized to match women with the top 5% of men. These apps are designed for women. Being average or even above average will almost never result in a date. Tinder was designed like a slot machine which will ruin your self-esteem from constant rejection but your…

Yup. In the Western world if you aren't a >= 7 in the looks department you will definitely struggle.

Better to say strictly >8, as surveys have found that women rate 80% of males as "below average" in the looks department.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#176

Post by krrrh »

krageon wrote: post #57
sph wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Both that and online porn has ruined us. It is an major epidemic that is still under the radar for how massive it is, in my opinion. And it's sad, because sex is very fun and porn is a very poor approximation of the real thing.

The irony here is that you are responding to someone lamenting puritanical thought with a puritanical post.

The subtlety is that the hyper stimuli of modern porn streaming, while lascivious on the inside, is leading to something that looks like puritanism on the outside, hence the drop in actual sex.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#177

Post by atlasunshrugged »

benj111 wrote: post #116
orangepurple wrote: post #75

95% of Tinder swipes by women are passes compared to 47% for men. Women tend to date up. Online dating apps are rigged for men. These apps are search engines optimized to match women with the top 5% of men. These apps are designed for women. Being average or even above average will almost never result in a date. Tinder was designed like a slot machine which will ruin your self-esteem from constant rejection but your…

Speaking as not the most attractive guy in the world, and also a prior user of dating apps. I don't think it's as one sided as you make out. Yes women probably want to trade up, but so do men but then if you actually want a relationship those things aren't really important so it's more a case of filtering the dross to find someone who actually wants a relationship. I'm not sure that would be easier as an 'attractive'…

I'll second this comment- I'm definitely not in the top quartile of men in terms of attractiveness but on Hinge I regularly get dates, in no small part to being able to write messages when liking. Tinder and Bumble are meat markets, definitely, but Hinge (and probably others, I haven't tried that many more) do work with some effort put into crafting a thoughtful introduction message.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#178

Post by kkfx »

Some big&powerful might hope so, I do not think nor hope so.

Some dream a sex-less society to control and command populations better, leaving of course sex to them, but we are human.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#179

Post by Narretz »

ru552 wrote: post #152

Why all this talk about sex for "entertainment"? Am I in the minority since I have sex because I have an urge to do it? It's never been about entertainment in my brain.

So you are not entertained when you have sex? Or do you just do it so the urge is fulfilled?

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#180

Post by lotsofpulp »

CodeSgt wrote: post #166
lotsofpulp wrote: post #156

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I do not think an “addiction” is the problem. Obviously, everyone prefers the real thing to porn. What has changed is the availability of porn introducing an extremely low cost alternative to sex, reducing the impetus for making the effort to find a partner (relative to previous times). Maybe even reducing the impetus to putting in the effort to seduce an existing partner! Of course, it is not uniform across all men…

> Obviously, everyone prefers the real thing to porn. That makes intuitive sense, but is far from the reality. Many men, even in otherwise healthy relationships, prefer porn. Again I really wish more data was collected on this but anecdotally I've seen hundreds on online discussions from both women who are concerned about their partner and declining sex life and from men who want to quit using porn to better service…

I think what I am trying to convey is that it is not an addiction like nicotine, caffeine, alcohol, heroine, where the brain wants the substance itself.

With porn, it is the brain making a cost benefit calculation that putting in the effort for the real thing is not worth the cost relative to cost/benefit ratio of porn.

As in do I make all the effort to get my wife in the mood, or do I open a website and be done with it. Or do I control my diet and exercise, or do I open a website and be done with it.

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