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Sex is going out of fashion?

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Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#151

Post by cryptica »

orangepurple wrote: post #75

95% of Tinder swipes by women are passes compared to 47% for men. Women tend to date up. Online dating apps are rigged for men. These apps are search engines optimized to match women with the top 5% of men. These apps are designed for women. Being average or even above average will almost never result in a date. Tinder was designed like a slot machine which will ruin your self-esteem from constant rejection but your…

Reading stuff like this makes me really glad that I married my first girlfriend. We've been married for over 10 years now. She was really out of my league. I did compromise on many things including age gap (she is older), past baggage and the fact that I have to let her win every argument and do everything she says but I'm glad because she was the opportunity of my life and I took it and I've never been so lucky since about anything since.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#153

Post by youessayyyaway »

buggythebug wrote: post #92
youessayyyaway wrote: post #65

These threads are always fun, because they often say more about us commenters than the subject matter. Personally, I find the article's supernatural stimulus theory compelling. Sex takes a lot of time if you aren't being selfish about it. It's also boring, compared with other forms of entertainment and creative pursuits, pornographic or not. I'm not sure this is all that new, either. Jokes about the declining frequen…

"It's also boring" "These threads are always fun, because they often say more about us commenters than the subject matter." I will not quote anything else from you and leave it at that.

I stand by it.

If you do find sex to be the most fulfilling part of your life, it might be worth asking where that sense of fulfillment comes from. It's probably a "who", not a "what".

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#154

Post by orangepurple »

kbrannigan wrote: post #138
orangepurple wrote: post #75

95% of Tinder swipes by women are passes compared to 47% for men. Women tend to date up. Online dating apps are rigged for men. These apps are search engines optimized to match women with the top 5% of men. These apps are designed for women. Being average or even above average will almost never result in a date. Tinder was designed like a slot machine which will ruin your self-esteem from constant rejection but your…

Get of these apps. I think many men who use apps, do so because they are too afraid to approach a woman they find attractive if the situation is appropriate. They don't bite, if you make a move with enough respect and confidence. In my opinion while convenient, they should be last resort.

They are only worth using as a man if you are ranked in the top 10% of superficial appearances. Those guys are going on dates with different women daily with these apps. If you don't believe me look up any YouTube video going undercover on Tinder masquerading as an attractive man.

The thing is Tinder has 75 million active users. If we assume 75% of these active users are men, and only the top 10% of men will reliably match, approximately 51 million men are gambling their time away (75×.75×0.9=50.625)

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#155

Post by R0b0t1 »

leksak wrote: post #134
ChuckNorris89 wrote: post #117

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yeah, but porn addiction is a consequence I think. If all men could get laid whenever they'd feel like it with a willing partner, then porn use would plummet. I haven't met many women into porn, probably because a one night stand is just a zero effort tinder swipe away, from the comfort of your pijamas in your living room. As a man, you end up turning to porn or paying for sex, or drinking or doing drugs, to compensa…

I think that "probably" could make due with some nuance. A Tinder swipe away is a very high-risk way of having sex. There's so many men out there that truly do not treat women well, and that one wouldn't want to have sex with. Yet, nothing inhibits them from having very well-curated Tinder profiles.

But there's so many men out there that woman can probably find someone, at least in a normal-ish city. Most men get zilch. I think we're seeing some of the less obvious effects of that now. Men don't get to have a sexual exploration or slut phase and this is... who knows, stunting their emotional growth? Among other things. As each sex gets older, women tend to accumulate more experience, and mock men who may be lacking it.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#156

Post by lotsofpulp »

CodeSgt wrote: post #133
ChuckNorris89 wrote: post #117

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yeah, but porn addiction is a consequence I think. If all men could get laid whenever they'd feel like it with a willing partner, then porn use would plummet. I haven't met many women into porn, probably because a one night stand is just a zero effort tinder swipe away, from the comfort of your pijamas in your living room. As a man, you end up turning to porn or paying for sex, or drinking or doing drugs, to compensa…

I'm not so sure. The average age someone is the first time they watch porn is 11, well before some of the issues you mentioned would manifest. When a porn addiction is developed before you hit your teens it's hard to blame a dysfunctional sex life on externalities.

I do not think an “addiction” is the problem. Obviously, everyone prefers the real thing to porn.

What has changed is the availability of porn introducing an extremely low cost alternative to sex, reducing the impetus for making the effort to find a partner (relative to previous times). Maybe even reducing the impetus to putting in the effort to seduce an existing partner!

Of course, it is not uniform across all men of course. I suspect those who are able to attract/interact with partners more easily will opt to do that, and those that are not will opt for the easier, lower cost option (even though there may be other long term costs).

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#157

Post by hobo_mark »

orangepurple wrote: post #75

95% of Tinder swipes by women are passes compared to 47% for men. Women tend to date up. Online dating apps are rigged for men. These apps are search engines optimized to match women with the top 5% of men. These apps are designed for women. Being average or even above average will almost never result in a date. Tinder was designed like a slot machine which will ruin your self-esteem from constant rejection but your…

No idea where the figures would be from, but it sounds like a lot of this could be automated away, anyone invented swipe-bots yet?

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#158

Post by krrrh »

TrackerFF wrote: post #76

People also have more options. I'm not saying that in the sense of "10% of some gender has sex with 90% the other gender due to [tinder/bumble/hinge]" , but rather that in my countries - dating apps have become the de-facto way to hook up with others. And these apps have sort of redefined that scene - mainly because women have pretty much endless choices, but also because the opposite is absolutely not true for most…

> You are exposed to people that you'd NEVER meet in the more traditional sense.

I’ve never used a dating app, but I’m curious about this. My assumption has been that people filter pretty heavily on politics and religion, which are less advertised in person. Meeting people at a party or through social activities seemed to moderate people’s views long term because an initial attraction could lead to encounters with really different sorts of personalities and backgrounds and counter reinforcement of naive views of the world.

For instance, more couples used to realize their votes cancelled out, so they would make a deal to just stay home and have sex instead of heading the the polls.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#159

Post by pwdisswordfish9 »

chii wrote: post #95
orangepurple wrote: post #75

95% of Tinder swipes by women are passes compared to 47% for men. Women tend to date up. Online dating apps are rigged for men. These apps are search engines optimized to match women with the top 5% of men. These apps are designed for women. Being average or even above average will almost never result in a date. Tinder was designed like a slot machine which will ruin your self-esteem from constant rejection but your…

> the options are grim for men who are less than very appealing. And you wonder why there's a fairly large community that have the so-called 'incel' behaviour. It didn't used to exist back in the pre-net dating era!

Yeah, back then unattractive men couldn’t even form a community.

Re: Sex is going out of fashion?

#160

Post by criddell »

chrismarlow9 wrote: post #135
bko wrote: post #25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Entertainment has entered a tyranny of choice. I see it personally. I can watch nearly every show and movie that was ever created but I still flip through Netflix and RT endlessly, often times choosing not to watch anything. When I was younger I would just watch Seinfeld re-runs, with commercials and all. Am I more "entertained" today than I was when I was growing up? I'm not convinced. The weirdest thing is I don't…

Podcasts changed the game for me on this. Now there are entire days where I never turn the TV on. A bonus is that I can get basic chores done while listening or workout. It really freed me from the couch potato routine. A bonus is that many of them are educational and released weekly, so "binge" isn't really an option. There are certainly "junk food" podcasts that I listen to but the ratio of informative to junk comp…

So are you saying it isn't TV that has ruined your sex life, it's podcasts?
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