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Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

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Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#431

Post by wiz21c »

wufufufu wrote: post #384
wiz21c wrote: post #322

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Do #1 as long as you need. For me it went like this: - month 1 : feeling lost - month 2 : feeling totally lost - month 3 : starting doing things for fun, with the culpability of not working - month 4 : starting to get bored... Staying home alone starts to be boring (it means your health improve 'cos you start wanting to do something again) - month 5 : realizing that I can't repeat the last 10 years of my life. Som th…

How is school going for you?

It's actually engineering (data sciences orientation). It's going OK but requires a huge effort (I'm way above the age at which you can ingest so much maths). So I have to be careful not to burn out again. But the deal is different: I work for me, I'll most likely succeed (I've made it through most of the exams with very good gradeq; I'm on the thesis right now), I don't have a toxic boss. So it's not exactly like a burn out situation. But I'll definitively feel relieved once it's behind me (hopefully in september).

Now I was fortunate enough to have enough money (and a powerful social system) to be able to do it. I understand I am very lucky.

And data sciences are super cool when you come from computer sciences. I definitely feel I'm learning something totally new. Data sciences is very far away from computers when you think about it...

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#432

Post by themantalope »

futureshock wrote: post #251

I want to throw out there that HN is not going to have the average compassion and emotional intelligence to give you good advice. You need to hire yourself a life coach or work with a therapist (which in your case would serve the same purpose). It may not seem it to you, but you are very young still. You have more growing to do and everyone needs trusted advisors. Also, the world is full of "lies" and most people bel…

There is a lot in this post that I completely agree with.

The main part is that our success is highly situational. I think this somewhat ties in with luck - working hard in the right situation pays off.

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#433

Post by randerp »

kayodelycaon wrote: post #423
randerp wrote: post #409

Earlier quoted context omitted.

just curious - if someone is "fired for cause" (don't feel that this term is universally accurate in its implications but thats another discussion), do you feel they should never get a job again? its some sort of Scarlett letter or brand on them?

The argument I've seen and heard many times is that someone who was been fired before is likely to get fired again. Also applies to medical conditions. You don't want an employee who might get sick and not be able to work.

oh for sure there are examples where people abuse the employment relationship - those who churn jobs simply looking for severance/unemployment, chronic medical issues or absences which lead to very low output, etc. and its understandable that a manager would try to weed those out.

that can also lead to many false positives, IMO. personal example, in my first job out of college my manager and i did not get along. i assume they wanted to fire me and began to build a case against me, emailing HR every morning i was not at my desk by 8:30 AM. i was naïve and the HR rep basically told me i should quit because my manager had "evidence". so i did, and it took a LONG time to find another job because of the "Scarlett Letter".

it then becomes a self fulfilling prophecy since the longer you're without a job the more suspicious it becomes. it all just feels very classically corporate to me, from a time when people stayed in one city/town for a long time and if you had a gap in the resume it was automatically detrimental to you because all the good people already have jobs.

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#436

Post by layer8 »

feanaro wrote: post #200
colanderman wrote: post #9

1. Take time off, like a month or more. [1] Use it to do anything other than coding. Hone a hobby, travel, volunteer, etc. No-one will care about a month or two gap on your resume. 2. You are worth more than you currently think you are. Internalize this, know this, that is key. "I am a sole developer for Mobile and Web platforms at this startup in a very small team" --> is a desirable skill in and of itself. 3. Stop…

> No-one will care about a month or two gap on your resume. On a related note, this "gap in resume" thing needs to stop being a thing at all. I don't know when it became a thing, but it feels distinctively like forcing a wage slave class to keep their head down and continue wageslaving. Why would an employer care whether I took time off to pursue other things otherwise?

> Why would an employer care whether I took time off to pursue other things otherwise?

Because you might feel like doing so again, or because there’s the possibility the time off wasn‘t voluntary. Not saying employers should think like that, but there’s a portion that does.

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#437

Post by adamsmith143 »

Best advice: Take a Month off and start applying to boring corporate SWE jobs. Almost every major Corp in the US has large engineering teams, they pay well, it's almost always a strict 40 Hour workweek and they almost never ask Algo/Leetcode questions in interviews. You may not make FAANG levels of compensation but you can decompress and prepare for those interviews for a few years if you want or just chill.

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#438

Post by Clubber »

giaour wrote: post #412
Clubber wrote: post #388

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Prison, at least that's how it was explained to me in the mid 90s when I started out.

Obviously this depends on the job and what someone did that landed them in prison, but that shouldn't be an automatic dealbreaker. If they are applying for a job after being released from prison, then they're trying to reintegrate and should be given a fair shake. If a criminal record is an insurmountable hurdle for a specific role, then it would come up in a background check (which would almost certainly be a requir…

>they're trying to reintegrate and should be given a fair shake.

Agree. Things were different in the 90s, think peak crime and crime bill. Also, everything wasn't categorized as a felony back then, it seems like felony was limited to much more severe crimes (except drugs crimes), unlike today.

>it would come up in a background check (which would almost certainly be a requirement for such a job)

It would, but background checks cost money and I'm guessing it was a pre-screen method to save. I'm not defending it, I'm just repeating what I was told back then.

>A gap in someone's resume is a pretty worthless signal for whether they've ever been incarcerated.

Unfortunately, people have been doing stupid filters on hiring for decades. It's not a new phenomenon.

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#439

Post by dontbenebby »

I felt like you once OP, and there was an HN post that was a network for depressed devs. (This was years ago).

I lost the link + had issues signing up... probably due to exevutive dysfunction from feeling like I had to find some special person or social network to have my CV fairly evaluated.

I'd try to take some time off, if you have the money.

I cannot emphasize how deeply I regret not quitting my job last I was in the EU and getting on plane to SE to explore the world.

I'm currently sitting having spent what was my emergency fund to an abusive landlord, selling stock from an IRA periodically until it is safe to exit my current location, as I struggle to give people the "level of customer service they desire", for lack of a better phrasing.

I'm unemployed. My email is in my bio if any recruiters want to reach out -- I've never had competing offers before, which feels odd considering the conversations I had at every role I worked in, but I don't pretend to understand the "working" world... aside from a job as a sandwich artist, pretty much every role I've had was at a nonprofit, but that was more due to coercion than choice.

I sincerely hope you can find some joy in your life.

Here's a pointer to a list of visa requirements for US citizens: get out of the country if you can, even if it's just Canada or Mexico:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Visa_requirements_for_United_S...

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#440

Post by rhizome31 »

tastysandwich wrote: post #84

This is all very career-focused, but there's other important facets of your life. How are your relationships? With your family/friends? When you walk through a cemetery, you don't see "here lies John Smith, full-stack software engineer who earn $250k". You see "here lies John Smith, beloved husband, son, father, etc". Try to think about what values are most important to you, and what you can be doing to attend to the…

> A good partner can be an absolute rock, a bulwark against all the shit out there in the world.

Beware that the opposite is also true. The wrong relationship can suck out all your energy and turn a pretty good life into a tasteless burden.

If you happen to find love, great for you, but don't seek a relationship at all costs to "fix" your problems.

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