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Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

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Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#321

Post by [deleted] »

swiftcoder wrote: post #316
feanaro wrote: post #200

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> No-one will care about a month or two gap on your resume. On a related note, this "gap in resume" thing needs to stop being a thing at all. I don't know when it became a thing, but it feels distinctively like forcing a wage slave class to keep their head down and continue wageslaving. Why would an employer care whether I took time off to pursue other things otherwise?

> Why would an employer care whether I took time off to pursue other things otherwise? Many (questionable) reasons, but among other things, it's a convenient way to exclude women trying to return to the workforce after they took time off to have kids, without overtly appearing to discriminate.

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#322

Post by wiz21c »

colanderman wrote: post #9

1. Take time off, like a month or more. [1] Use it to do anything other than coding. Hone a hobby, travel, volunteer, etc. No-one will care about a month or two gap on your resume. 2. You are worth more than you currently think you are. Internalize this, know this, that is key. "I am a sole developer for Mobile and Web platforms at this startup in a very small team" --> is a desirable skill in and of itself. 3. Stop…

Do #1 as long as you need. For me it went like this:

- month 1 : feeling lost

- month 2 : feeling totally lost

- month 3 : starting doing things for fun, with the culpability of not working

- month 4 : starting to get bored... Staying home alone starts to be boring (it means your health improve 'cos you start wanting to do something again)

- month 5 : realizing that I can't repeat the last 10 years of my life. Som things must change

- month 6 : my guts tell me "you should go back to school"

- month 7 : I understand that listening to my guts is the only meaningful thing I can do

- month 8 : ok, going back to school.

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#323

Post by RektBoy »

swiftcoder wrote: post #316
feanaro wrote: post #200

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> No-one will care about a month or two gap on your resume. On a related note, this "gap in resume" thing needs to stop being a thing at all. I don't know when it became a thing, but it feels distinctively like forcing a wage slave class to keep their head down and continue wageslaving. Why would an employer care whether I took time off to pursue other things otherwise?

> Why would an employer care whether I took time off to pursue other things otherwise? Many (questionable) reasons, but among other things, it's a convenient way to exclude women trying to return to the workforce after they took time off to have kids, without overtly appearing to discriminate.

In my country, it's illegal to fire a woman(or man) on maternity leave and company must give her(him) same place back, when they return. Maternity leave is usually taken till a kid is 3yrs old, so after 3yrs they must give you your old place back, by law.

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#324

Post by dexterlagan »

t_mann wrote: post #285
Tenoke wrote: post #274

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>we don't even have enough data here! how can you talk about unrealistic expectations without data? You don't need data on every single developer in the world to know that not all of them are 'worth more'. >learn interpersonal skills - objectivity isn't everything. The whole thinking that objectivity precludes interpersonal skills and that if you attempt to be objective you are what? a cold robot? is absurd.

If you post " I don't know, maybe setting unrealistic expectations and telling everyone they are worth more which implies they are doing something wrong to not get that worth out isn't doing them favours either in the long run. " under a thread like this, you are acting supremely unempathic. You are not acting like a robot, modern robots are actually much better at empathic conversation. In fact, I asked GPT-3 "Write…

That is genuinely the most impressive thing I've seen come out of GPT-3. Granted, I haven't played with it much, but wow. Thanks for posting this.

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#325

Post by qkls »

swiftcoder wrote: post #312
qkls wrote: post #303

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Substance abuse related career breaks. At least recent.

Hang on, you are going to penalise someone for taking time off to get clean... presumably on the basis that it's better they come to work hiding the fact that they are high, than that they get help?

How would I even know they are clean? And if they are clean and they presumably have a greater chance of a relapse than other random candidates.

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#326

Post by tfigment »

swiftcoder wrote: post #312
qkls wrote: post #303

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Substance abuse related career breaks. At least recent.

Hang on, you are going to penalise someone for taking time off to get clean... presumably on the basis that it's better they come to work hiding the fact that they are high, than that they get help?

Companies do not like risk. That kind of time off has high potential recidivism. If there are 2 candidates then lower risk one wins. Years ago I had HR decline a candidate because of a messy divorce because of perceived risk that I still don't understand.

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#328

Post by phoehne »

There's some evidence that burn out and depression are linked. If you can afford therapy, through benefits or just writing it off as an investment in yourself, I would recommend it. What I've gotten out of therapy has been worth the cost and has helped me with burnout. The brain is a funny thing and it may or may not be your job that's the issue.

Choose a better job. There are a lot of software jobs that aren't as glamorous as working for startups. Sure, you don't get to build applications with frameworks invented 5 minutes ago, but they often reasonably well and offer better work-life balance. Why do you want to work at a startup? Why not a bank or a large outsourcing company like Accenture?

Ask yourself why do you want to be a developer? I've known people that love developing software to the point they would do it for free, on their own time, in addition to working. I've also known people that leave it behind the moment they move into management. They like technology stuff, but don't love building software. If it's more a lifestyle or culture thing, then, look for jobs on the analyst/product manager side rather than engineering. Maybe sales?

Go back to school. Why go to school if you already know how to program? Because that's not the point of a degree in computer science. CS is about the why we do things the way we do. It would do a few things for you: 1) fill in some of the gaps your feel are important and 2) allow you to reset your brain a little, and 3) allow you a way to reset your career.

The thing to remember is we're always suffering imposter syndrome at some level if we're growing. As you push into new areas you'll always feel like a bit of a fraud. I'm currently going through it as a I move into management and they keep adding people to my team. At the same time I need to present the face of "I know what I'm doing," inside my head I think "I have no idea what I'm doing." That's normal. What's not normal, is feeling like you're drowning.

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#329

Post by greenthrow »

Nobody creates anything from scratch. The idea that anyone does is a myth, and a harmful one. Everyone -- everyone -- builds on the work of others. Picasso and Einstein did. Everyone does. This is the fist thing you seem to be missing to realize there's nothing wrong with the work you do and the way you work. You are delivering value.

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#330

Post by jstaines »

madeofpalk wrote: post #308
bigDinosaur wrote: post #229

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It really should be put in the context of someone's life. Did they spend a year or two travelling? Did they spend it working on personally productive projects? Or did they do nothing but play video games or do drugs? These are all very different extended gaps. The first two should be fine - if someone's skills have atrophied than that's another issue (but nothing a good interview or probation period won't pick up on…

I've taken sixth months off and mostly played video games and no one ever cared or asked??!

Yep same here. When I ran out of money I thought I'd better start writing some code lol
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