281–290 of 521 posts
Thank you for asking for help. First off: you are burnt out, possibly with depression. I think you should reach out to a career counseling therapist, or a regular therapist. You need some time and space to turn off work mode and just process all of this. You don't have to quit your job immediately, but it's clear that your work situation is unhealthy. However, your work may not be the only thing that's making you fee…
1. Take time off, like a month or more. [1] Use it to do anything other than coding. Hone a hobby, travel, volunteer, etc. No-one will care about a month or two gap on your resume. 2. You are worth more than you currently think you are. Internalize this, know this, that is key. "I am a sole developer for Mobile and Web platforms at this startup in a very small team" --> is a desirable skill in and of itself. 3. Stop…
I really recommend the volunteering, especially if in a field unrelated to your career and more aligned with your values.
Not only is it a great way to get to know people, it can really give you a better sense of what skills you can bring. You will make even more of an impact if you do bring a different perspective and skillset to others who normally volunteer.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
> No-one will care about a month or two gap on your resume. On a related note, this "gap in resume" thing needs to stop being a thing at all. I don't know when it became a thing, but it feels distinctively like forcing a wage slave class to keep their head down and continue wageslaving. Why would an employer care whether I took time off to pursue other things otherwise?
In 40 years I have only ever put the start and end year of each item on my resume. I guess this dates to when most jobs / education lasted multiple years. But I've stuck with it and no-one has ever questioned it. The couple of jobs I have had which were less than one year spanned a year-end so it never looked odd. When I am reviewing incoming resumes small gaps never bother me. Ocassionally I have seen multi-year gap…
My advice: write. Write a lot about how you feel, just like you just did. Write about your goals, hopes, dreams, how you plan on achieving those goals.
Life is marathon that lasts a few decades, we all need to create our own algorithms on how to tackle it, and then execute. Failures and setbacks are part of the process.
Besides writing, read. Read about things that you like; things that you need; and learn new things.
> How can I turn my directionless life around and find satisfaction with my career?
Not all the wander are lost. Up the game, it's not about your career, it's about Life. Your career is a subset of your Life.
YMMV
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Yes, apparently you don't know how language affects emotions, expectations and personal relationships, and what the long-term effects on mental health, productivity, longevity and quality-years-of-life are. Don't confuse your pseudo-empiricism with objectivity (we don't even have enough data here! how can you talk about unrealistic expectations without data?). But even better, learn interpersonal skills - objectivity…
>we don't even have enough data here! how can you talk about unrealistic expectations without data? You don't need data on every single developer in the world to know that not all of them are 'worth more'. >learn interpersonal skills - objectivity isn't everything. The whole thinking that objectivity precludes interpersonal skills and that if you attempt to be objective you are what? a cold robot? is absurd.
You are not a loser, and you are not alone. Many people struggle with finding fulfillment in their careers. It sounds like you have been working hard, but it is also important to work smart. Try to focus on your goals and what you want to achieve. Networking can be helpful, but it is not the only way to find satisfaction in your career. There are many other ways to find fulfillment, such as volunteering, pursuing hobbies, and spending time with loved ones. Don't be afraid to reach out to others for help and advice. There are many people who are willing to help and support you.
A lot of stuff going on here. 1. You're clearly NOT incompetent. If you were, you couldn't possibly hold the web and mobile platform together entirely on your own for that long AND handle every on call incident. 2. The thing that surprised me most about burnout was the physical symptoms. You've got them. It only gets worse from here if you keep doing what you're doing. 3. It makes perfect sense to me that you don't f…
I can't stress this enough. Being part of a team you appreciate helps a lot. First and foremost, with burnout. Knowing you have teammates you can share daily stuff with, and lean on when you need to, is a lot. Feeling like they can do the same with you, makes it an even more powerful experience.
All in all, it sounds like, at this point, you should optimize for people and not tech excellence. The latter can follow when you have a supportive environment.
As others suggested, take some time off to put out the fire. Then move on to find a job in a team you think you might like.
btw, during the time off, things might get worse mentally before they get better. Simply because you won't be able to hide from your thoughts and feelings anymore. It could do you good to set simple, achievable daily goals that serve a small purpose and not aim for something big (like learning a new skill). Stuff like going to the beach every day, or meditating for 10 minutes (without the purpose of "learning meditation" or "doing it right").
Be kind to yourself, your life isn't a race to be won. Maybe more like a hike through the wilderness.
1. Take time off, like a month or more. [1] Use it to do anything other than coding. Hone a hobby, travel, volunteer, etc. No-one will care about a month or two gap on your resume. 2. You are worth more than you currently think you are. Internalize this, know this, that is key. "I am a sole developer for Mobile and Web platforms at this startup in a very small team" --> is a desirable skill in and of itself. 3. Stop…
> 1. Take time off, like a month or more. [1] Use it to do anything other than coding. Hone a hobby, travel, volunteer, etc. I really recommend the volunteering, especially if in a field unrelated to your career and more aligned with your values. Not only is it a great way to get to know people, it can really give you a better sense of what skills you can bring. You will make even more of an impact if you do bring a…
This sounds like adult ADHD, which is treatable: > only to never execute them for various reasons or get started with them only to never fully complete them and see it all the way through. > unable to concentrate, riddled with brain fog, and unsure of my future Go see a psychiatrist, mention those points and they will fix your problem in no time.
Here's what works for me: 1. Never work more than 40 hrs a week. I actively look for jobs that are laid back yet challenging enough. 2. Spend a ton of time with my dog: This might not work for you if you aren't an animal person, but just look at them, they do mundane things and they are perfectly happy with their lives. It is very inspiring. 3. Memento mori - Recently I had to deal with a health issue which can signi…
Aspirational.
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It really should be put in the context of someone's life. Did they spend a year or two travelling? Did they spend it working on personally productive projects? Or did they do nothing but play video games or do drugs? These are all very different extended gaps. The first two should be fine - if someone's skills have atrophied than that's another issue (but nothing a good interview or probation period won't pick up on…
And even if someone spent their time video gaming and doing drugs why can't they turn their life around if they want and demonstrate to have the skill. Burnout, depression, horrible circumstances and families all exists and sometimes you have to hit a stable rock bottom to start climbing.