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Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

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Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#261

Post by heleninboodler »

_carbyau_ wrote: post #90
losteric wrote: post #25

> My salary also hasn't increased much, and feel like I'm severely underpaid based on the # of years of experience but I struggle with evaluating my value in the market to determine my worth Sure sounds like it. I've run 100+ interviews at a FAANG, nearly all levels and IC roles - email me if you'd like to chat about roles/responsibilities/comp (we can keep it anonymous and high-level). There are also professional se…

Constant overtime is a clear failure of management. You are a cog in the system. The next level up in the system plays with the cogs they have influence over, including you. If you are ever working beyond your contract, then your boss has failed their job . It may be that your immediate boss has been put into an impossible position by the next level up (and so on) but that is NOT your issue, it is theirs. As a human…

Also, if you're on call 24/7 and getting burnt out, you need an effective way of shedding this load. And it just so happens that one of the effective ways of shedding this load is a real ass-kicker move: come up with a plan to improve your ops and make it so anyone can be on call, not just you. This probably means improvements to monitoring (clear signals that don't constantly false-positive and require the expert -- aka you -- to diagnose), improvements to reliability, and improvements to ops documentation (clear docs that say when this alarm goes off, here's what you do). Sharing the knowledge that's in your head so you can stop being a hero is a next-level maneuver, and as a bonus, it gets you some peace.

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#263

Post by mcv »

mrmattyboy wrote: post #143
geodel wrote: post #61

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> and there are just and many horrible devs as their are great ones. I will say horrible devs are far more than great ones. In my 15 years of experience I have seen far more mediocre or downright horrible than great ones.

Quick question, if I may... Of the horrible devs that you can think of, how many of them would reach out and say that they're horrible (or make a post like this) vs how many of them think they're great/superstars? :) Certainly makes me think of the Dunning-Kruger effect!

I think many "great" programmers also have plenty of flaws. Nobody is perfect. As long as you can make stuff that works, that's good. Some people will be better at some things, some will be worse. Focus on the stuff you're good at. Work on the stuff you want to be better at. But stop trying to be a superstar.

We're all stuck between Dunning-Kruger and the Impostor Syndrome, but we make it work.

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#264

Post by ChuckNorris89 »

distances wrote: post #257
frenchman99 wrote: post #147

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Even in France which lots of people call "socialist", the company can fire you at any time and has to pay only about 3/6 months of salary for "wrongful termination". That's low enough to not keep constantly underperforming people.

I think in many other countries like Nordics and Germany the company can be forced to just basically undo the termination.

Only if the courts decide that it was unlawful, but companies have enough experience and lawyers who make sure they have enough dirt on you to justify them firing you. It's what my German ex-boss told us and I've had seen many colleagues get fired without any repercussions for the company. Plus, if you end up sueing your former employer, and the word gets out, no other employer will touch you.

Also, for your mental health, you wouldn't want to go back and work at the company who just fired you. That's like getting back together with an ex you just got out of toxic relationship.

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#265

Post by rovek »

futureshock wrote: post #251

I want to throw out there that HN is not going to have the average compassion and emotional intelligence to give you good advice. You need to hire yourself a life coach or work with a therapist (which in your case would serve the same purpose). It may not seem it to you, but you are very young still. You have more growing to do and everyone needs trusted advisors. Also, the world is full of "lies" and most people bel…

This is great, I would upvote it more if I could. Also very accurate on the lack of required empathy.

The combination of your last points and "hard work does not pay off" are something that it took me until 32 (and arguably then only because of lockdowns) to learn. Working hard on your employer's problems is unlikely to be fulfilling, they will never give you the influence or credit you want (or maybe deserve?) because of "hard work". Working hard on your own things or with people you care about is where you can earn fulfillment. And I don't mean a $10,000/month side hustle, I mean tiny incremental improvements on things you enjoy but may suck at. For me it's been attempting to learn another spoken language, which I'm still comically bad at 3 years later, and some other hobbies which I'm also lower-end-of-the-curve bad at but get a lot of enjoyment from.

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#266

Post by chiefalchemist »

First, update your CV. With that will come a sense of peace and empowerment.

Your next career step? Get out of there. Those hours and that environment don't give you the head-space to clearly see what's next for you. End this relationship first before you considered the next one.

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#267

Post by lentil_soup »

bigDinosaur wrote: post #229
michaelmior wrote: post #205

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I would agree for small gaps. But I think it's at least somewhat understandable why a significant gap would be a concern. With the pace technology moves at, if you have not been working for an extended period of time, it's reasonable that you might have fallen behind. Certainly this shouldn't be reason in itself to reject a candidate and it at least somewhat depends on what you were doing during that time, but I find…

It really should be put in the context of someone's life. Did they spend a year or two travelling? Did they spend it working on personally productive projects? Or did they do nothing but play video games or do drugs? These are all very different extended gaps. The first two should be fine - if someone's skills have atrophied than that's another issue (but nothing a good interview or probation period won't pick up on…

why would I care as an employer that you spent a year playing video games and doing drugs?

When I interview people I couldn't care less about any gaps in their resume, we're going to sit down, talk about tech, what you've done and what we need, etc. If there's a match in skills, needs, personality and expectations then that's it, anything else are invisible cargo-cult walls

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#268

Post by Tade0 »

feanaro wrote: post #200
colanderman wrote: post #9

1. Take time off, like a month or more. [1] Use it to do anything other than coding. Hone a hobby, travel, volunteer, etc. No-one will care about a month or two gap on your resume. 2. You are worth more than you currently think you are. Internalize this, know this, that is key. "I am a sole developer for Mobile and Web platforms at this startup in a very small team" --> is a desirable skill in and of itself. 3. Stop…

> No-one will care about a month or two gap on your resume. On a related note, this "gap in resume" thing needs to stop being a thing at all. I don't know when it became a thing, but it feels distinctively like forcing a wage slave class to keep their head down and continue wageslaving. Why would an employer care whether I took time off to pursue other things otherwise?

> On a related note, this "gap in resume" thing needs to stop being a thing at all.

I think that at least in tech it was only ever a thing in companies that didn't know better.

I mean, I throughout my career I was fired multiple times and at least twice that resulted in a 3-month gap, only one of them being voluntarily that long.

I now take them on purpose and collected a total of five over the course of 10+ years.

I don't remember anyone ever even touching the subject - perhaps there's something about the date format I'm using in my CV (MM-YYYY - MM-YYYY/present).

In any case my experience is that companies with such ridiculous criteria end up hiring contractors to fill their gaps - this time in their workforce.

Contractors, naturally, don't go through nearly the same recruitment process and yet they manage to do the same job and do it well - those who don't are promplty fired.

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#269

Post by strickman »

1 - don't smoke pot (if you are doing so) and don't drink alcohol every day 2 - listen to Jordan Peterson lectures on youtube and read 12 Rules For Life 3 - be honest about your own IQ and choose your path accordingly - education and hours can only take you to the limit of your innate intelligence; minds the likes of Linus Torvalds, Don Knuth, Ken Thompson, Larry Wall are extremely rare 4 - run a mile a day and do weight training 5 days a week - watch Pumping Iron to get in the mood 5 - cut down on the hours - look him in the eye and with confidence tell the owner of your company - "Listen, I can solve your problems, but I cannot do it by myself anymore. Here's what I'm going to need from you to guide you down the path to success..., etc."

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#270

Post by r_c_a_d »

feanaro wrote: post #200
colanderman wrote: post #9

1. Take time off, like a month or more. [1] Use it to do anything other than coding. Hone a hobby, travel, volunteer, etc. No-one will care about a month or two gap on your resume. 2. You are worth more than you currently think you are. Internalize this, know this, that is key. "I am a sole developer for Mobile and Web platforms at this startup in a very small team" --> is a desirable skill in and of itself. 3. Stop…

> No-one will care about a month or two gap on your resume. On a related note, this "gap in resume" thing needs to stop being a thing at all. I don't know when it became a thing, but it feels distinctively like forcing a wage slave class to keep their head down and continue wageslaving. Why would an employer care whether I took time off to pursue other things otherwise?

In 40 years I have only ever put the start and end year of each item on my resume. I guess this dates to when most jobs / education lasted multiple years. But I've stuck with it and no-one has ever questioned it.

The couple of jobs I have had which were less than one year spanned a year-end so it never looked odd.

When I am reviewing incoming resumes small gaps never bother me. Ocassionally I have seen multi-year gaps on interesting resumes and made enquires which always turned out to be completely legitimate career breaks and never lead to us not making offers.

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