151–160 of 521 posts
Land your dream job then start lighting it up again.
1. Take time off, like a month or more. [1] Use it to do anything other than coding. Hone a hobby, travel, volunteer, etc. No-one will care about a month or two gap on your resume. 2. You are worth more than you currently think you are. Internalize this, know this, that is key. "I am a sole developer for Mobile and Web platforms at this startup in a very small team" --> is a desirable skill in and of itself. 3. Stop…
But what if they aren't worth more (as a dev, financially) than they think they are? They could be awful, but naively put in a ton of hours. Why do we assume people are worth more? Are we trying to make them feel better by making assumptions and potentially leading them horribly astray? Most people are supremely mediocre and there are just and many horrible devs as their are great ones.
Judging from the reaction, I’d say it is a great place for this post.
I don’t have enough information from your post (I suspect there’s a lot left unsaid), to be able to synthesize any really comprehensive response, but the language is quite familiar. I’ve participated in a community for decades, where that kind of stuff is common.
It’s fairly clear that it’s not a matter of competence, but of motivation, and motivation is affected by many things.
It’s also very important, and it’s easy to miss the forest for the trees.
I know that this is probably not an answer that solves anything, but it sounds like you may be going to a drywell for water.
I sincerely wish you the very best, but I’d strongly suggest exploring help on an emotional and spiritual (not necessarily “church,” but something that feeds the spirit) basis.
Good luck.
It's really difficult to explain something that is so highly individual and personal... you gotta learn to, and this will sound like real cheap advice: love yourself. Embrace your imperfections, learn to stop feeling bad about what you think you are doing wrong. There is no wrong, only learned lessons. Stop judging yourself, and don't even start contemplating how people might judge you.
Example: "I apologize if this isn't the place for a post like this..." Why not? :) you have legitimate questions that need resolving, and there's always people, especially amongst hackers who have been once asking themselves the very same questions. Don't be hard on yourself, there is no gain in that.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
But what if they aren't worth more (as a dev, financially) than they think they are? They could be awful, but naively put in a ton of hours. Why do we assume people are worth more? Are we trying to make them feel better by making assumptions and potentially leading them horribly astray? Most people are supremely mediocre and there are just and many horrible devs as their are great ones.
What if this kind of cruel snotty attitude is a telltale sign of people who are as afraid they’re mediocre as they view the people they judge? What if there’s no value to anyone in this kind of response?
People naturally "compare up" rather than "compare down". Sure OP is probably in the 1% wealthiest people in the world, or top 99.9999% of those who ever lived, but rather than be happy with that, he will compare himself to other computer programmers who are doing fantastically, and feel bad about himself.
Another factor here is probably the fact that OP's working conditions are highly exploitative, it appears that he is putting in far more work than necessary. He probably genuinely believes that hard work is rewarded and doesn't understand why he feels used up and spent. And it's probably because he is being used up and spent by his exploitative employer. So fair enough if you look around and see other developers who are not being used up, you might decide you want to live life with a measure of dignity, too.
Any rational actor in this circumstance would do the minimum work they could get away with, and do whatever they can to negotiate for better conditions. A first step might be to develop enough self esteem to be able to say "no" when asked to work unhealthy and unproductively long hours. But without knowing more of the specifics of how much leverage he has, it's hard to know if that is going to be met with instant reprisal or whether he will be able to gain the respect he deserves.
Of course, I am starting from the basic assumption that all human beings are worthy of some basic amount of respect, dignity, and freedom from exploitation.
You’re not a loser. You’re nowhere near the end of the rope if you’re still interested in pursuing the career (and it’s okay if you want to look elsewhere if it doesn’t make you happy!). I’m saying this as someone turning 40 this year and still picking up fundamentals.
Some of this also reads as very familiar to me with an adult ADHD diagnosis. I don’t want to be presumptuous but that feels worth mentioning.
In any case… take some time off. You have more than you think, and the rest will give you more room to think about the rest.
It depends on what you want. If you're in it for the money, try working less hours as you find a place with better compensation or benefits. >being on-call almost 24/7, sometimes for straight 7 days for months despite only getting paid on a salary basis on 40 hr work weeks This is just straight up exploitation, and definitely isn't making the ennui better. It's time get some appreciation for your efforts, from yourse…
Edit: grammar
> I've always wondered how other smart people are able to come up with libraries, services and various solutions from scratch.
Read books. Classic programming books - Knuth, Robert Martin, Erich Gamma, and so on.
Find 2-3 hours per day - it is one of the best investments you can do.
Cut back hours, I think this is the root cause of your issues. Next, try to find something else to do on weekends, go biking, gym, etc. Start learning a musical instrument that you don't know anything about. Challenge yourself.
If coding is your hobby also (mine was / is), then even taking a side project that has nothing to do with you day job works nicely. Take some new language, explore some library / tool, build something with arduino or similar, even if it is "mobile app to flush your toilet"-kind of stupid. In my experience this can totally took thoughts way from work even if it is still "coding". And on a plus side, you can gain additional experience, learn about api design and so on.
Also if looking for a job, I think it is better to try smaller players than hunt for big ones. Bigger companies usually have very idiotic hiring processes and it is easy to end up being a "factory worker" not someone who can have a say about things. Challenge yourself there too. I was a self-taught newbie PHP 3 and Delphi coder, applied for C++ job that I only have vague idea about, was accepted. Started developing for Lotus Notes from first day on the job instead. Didn't know it even existed before. Ended up as mainly Java dev a couple of years later in the same place...