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Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

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Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#31
Based on your comments about salary and working at a startup, I think you're probably being taken advantage of.

I think you may at least subconsciously know it too given that you wrote this post.

Step one is to start dialing it back. Another commenter suggested reserving an early hour of the day for leetcode. That's a good idea. When you're ready to start work, don't. Work on a leetcode problem but timebox it to an hour. Then get about your workday. You'll very quickly start to realize that there's nothing special about algorithms. It's basic patterns. No one is asking you to invent new distributed consensus algorithms on the fly in a coding interview. Mostly they're looking for whether you studied to the test or not.

So for the first little while, it's going to suck. You'll be stumped and frustrated. That's fine. Spend a bit of time trying to figure out the answer yourself but if you've given it an honest try, just google the answer. It's about pattern matching mostly so you need a base to pattern from.

Make sure you type everything out. Don't copy/paste. That'll be important for both mental memory (multiple input paths (tactile + visual) leads to better retention) but also that muscle memory will be critical when it comes to the actual interviews.

Eventually you'll get to cruise control. Easy problem won't be stumpers anymore, they'll actually be easy. Mediums will be hit and miss and hards will still be mostly failures but doing some every now and then it worth it for pattern matching to make the mediums easier.

Now that you're cruising and touch typing without IDE assistance through the easys you're ready to interview. You'll probably fail the first few. Interviews are a skill separate from actual programming and they also involve a lot of luck. All the interviews have some random set of qualifications they feel are super important. Unless your practice overlaps heavily with their preferences they won't be inclined to hire you. And when there are like 5 interviewers on a loop you can afford not having overlap with one but if you don't have overlap with 2 or more that'll usually sink you. And like I said, you can grow that overlap percentage but not much, it's mostly luck. If you get a bunch of interviewers that mostly ask questions similar to the ones you practiced and you pattern match them easily (hashmap! tree search!) then you get hired.

The first step though is cutting down your dedication to this company. You're dedicating your life to them and unless they're paying you enough to retire extremely early that's a really bad deal you're taking.

So please cut back on your hours. Take that extra time to take care of yourself first and meet up with friends and family again. Use a small portion of the extra hours to grind out the algo questions. If you can write mobile and web apps you can learn this too. It's a different skill though and it will take time. But it's worth it because you need this practice to match up against everyone else that studied to the test. When you feel you're ready take a long vacation. At least two weeks. Line up a ton of interviews and just power through. Take a break of a least a few days in the middle to regroup and analyze but in general book at least 6 interviews (not phone screens) in those two weeks. Chances are if you've practiced enough you'll get at least one offer. If you don't, that's fine, it just means you need to practice more. Analyze what went wrong, practice more and try again in a few months.

When you get an offer, don't stay at your current company. With your effort and dedication they absolutely know they're taking advantage of you. They'd probably be willing to double your total compensation if you were to actually be ready to leave. It's a trap though. They've already shown they're willing and able to take advantage and will do so again. So when you have a better offer elsewhere you should take it.

Good luck.

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#32
As someone who is often too hard on themselves, it sounds like you're being incredibly hard on yourself. You're overworked and underpaid, and have a skewed perception of your own value. I'd suggest quitting for a while and taking some time away from the screen to repair yourself. Then, when you're ready, find a job that truly appreciates your skills and gives you the respect you deserve.

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#33
Take out time for yourself. Try to understand what is good in you and work on to make it even better. If you want to turn around, you have to identify your bad and good habits. We all have high frequency habits e.g. failure suppression, poor communication, avoid difficult situations, be aware of your high frequency habits and slowly make a habit to improve them.

I think it has become your habit now to work for so many hours and still unsatisfied with the results. I am also a victim of working long hours with a break for months. In my case, it is my fear of doing nothing that does not allow me do anything else but work, it is my insecurity that tells me to fill my time by working. My suggestion is to be more courageous, take risk, make mistake and jump into uncertain territory. Things are not as bad as we think they are.

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#34
Leave your manager and company for a job at a different company as soon as you reasonably can.

>"I've put in countless hours of work every day (70-90 hrs), being on-call almost 24/7, sometimes for straight 7 days for months despite only getting paid on a salary basis on 40 hr work weeks"

Your team clearly does not care enough to intervene to make sure you are not destroying your health due to your work, and they are not even proactively paying you a fair amount. To be clear: they are not treating you with any respect as a human or person. They have already set the conditions to cause physical health problems, and have already caused psychological problems ("riddled with brain fog").

You do not owe them any loyalty whatsoever, and you should not buy into any arguments (internal or external) that you should stay for any reason; if they cared, you would not be compensated as you have described, nor writing to HN for advice about this.

Cut your hours to make time for interview preparations (if you wouldn't ideally be able to take time off), and start applying to new companies. Changing organizations should be your top priority if you want to change the conditions that are causing your current psychological problems (brain fog, lack of self-confidence, and lack of self-esteem as described in the submitted post).

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#35

1. Take time off, like a month or more. [1] Use it to do anything other than coding. Hone a hobby, travel, volunteer, etc. No-one will care about a month or two gap on your resume. 2. You are worth more than you currently think you are. Internalize this, know this, that is key. "I am a sole developer for Mobile and Web platforms at this startup in a very small team" --> is a desirable skill in and of itself. 3. Stop…

>Hone a hobby definitely. I would highly recommend creating something. Woodwork, metalwork, sculpting, crochet... whatever. It uses the brain in a completely different way. it creates new challenges and the satisfaction of physically manipulating the world is unequal in the digital world.

Yes. I’m making croissants also bread. It’s super fulfilling. Then you share and enjoy your tasty creation with your friends and family

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#36
I've felt the same at some points in my career, working very hard but feeling like I'm running just to keep in place.

Maybe your problem is you are the "sole developer for Mobile and Web". It just takes a lot of work to get everything working in JavaScript and HTML and all them frameworks without any real insights being gained while doing it. There are too many ways things can get out of whack it is like a house of cards where there are too many undeclared dependencies between parts of the application. Web-tech is to blame there are few general design principles, just tech that has evolved to whatever is needed for you to "hack". Too many details to get it right, even to get CSS to look great.

Perhaps you should get more developers to take part in your efforts then you don't have to work so many hours and it will be more fun to have a team.

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#37
post #30

1. Take time off, like a month or more. [1] Use it to do anything other than coding. Hone a hobby, travel, volunteer, etc. No-one will care about a month or two gap on your resume. 2. You are worth more than you currently think you are. Internalize this, know this, that is key. "I am a sole developer for Mobile and Web platforms at this startup in a very small team" --> is a desirable skill in and of itself. 3. Stop…

But what if they aren't worth more (as a dev, financially) than they think they are? They could be awful, but naively put in a ton of hours. Why do we assume people are worth more? Are we trying to make them feel better by making assumptions and potentially leading them horribly astray? Most people are supremely mediocre and there are just and many horrible devs as their are great ones.

I'm basing this off four observations --

1) They, as the sole developer, are managing to hold their startup together software-wise. That is a useful skill -- raw coding talent or not.

2) Since having recently found my way to a FAANG, I've found a surprising number of new hires are fresh college grads with about that much coding experience, and make more than I (with 30 years experience) ever had made before joining.

3) OP is self-described terrible at networking. I've personally found this my biggest barrier to finding well-paying jobs also.

4) Startups pay shit.

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#38
Firstly, as others have suggested, take a break. Relax, don't think about job, coding or whatever else that bothers you. Spend your time doing something entirely different.

Second, join somewhere else where you are more valued. Or better yet, start your own company if you feel confident enough.

Third, find places (either offline or online) where you'll meet like-minded fellows. Join libera.chat if you wish. It's a great place to hang out no matter your networking skills.

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#39

1. Take time off, like a month or more. [1] Use it to do anything other than coding. Hone a hobby, travel, volunteer, etc. No-one will care about a month or two gap on your resume. 2. You are worth more than you currently think you are. Internalize this, know this, that is key. "I am a sole developer for Mobile and Web platforms at this startup in a very small team" --> is a desirable skill in and of itself. 3. Stop…

Ah, to "internalize" a statement is to "believe" it. To treat it as real.

I just understood that.

That is an interesting method.

Re: Ask HN: Burnt-out, directionless but want to turn it around

#40
post #29

1. Take time off, like a month or more. [1] Use it to do anything other than coding. Hone a hobby, travel, volunteer, etc. No-one will care about a month or two gap on your resume. 2. You are worth more than you currently think you are. Internalize this, know this, that is key. "I am a sole developer for Mobile and Web platforms at this startup in a very small team" --> is a desirable skill in and of itself. 3. Stop…

Agree to all your points except partial "nit" on the first one - Traveling slightly feels like an escapism thing for me. Volunteering and hobbies are perfect, but people tend to do the traveling more often, I feel. I think people in OP's situation might benefit a sense of accomplishment/progress, and being recognized for that would help. But that's hard to get, especially external recognition. But a feeling of satisf…

I think for travel you need to make the most of it when you return. I've come back from trips feeling like I hit a refresh button, though if you don't make changes and run with the feeling you'll just fall back into old feelings and habits
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