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On Aging Alone (2021)

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Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#301

Post by [deleted] »

vinceguidry wrote: post #258
openknot wrote: post #100

Earlier quoted context omitted.

While respecting ethics (e.g. never asking someone where I was in a position of any power over, even if it was a volunteer student club), I respectfully asked out the people where I did feel that kind of tension (in other words, I always asked out the people who I had a crush on when I was a teen, except when there were professional boundaries). Unfortunately, I got turned down several times. One initially said yes,…

Ethnicity can be a hard barrier to overcome for men, I've noticed. Guys from certain parts of the world seem to have a tough time navigating American social norms around dating and such. Perhaps where they're from they never interacted socially with the opposite sex. So they have a really tough time connecting 'normally'. And it seems to build this big wall between themselves and women, unnecessarily.

[deleted]

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#302

Post by temptest1 »

vinceguidry wrote: post #258
openknot wrote: post #100

Earlier quoted context omitted.

While respecting ethics (e.g. never asking someone where I was in a position of any power over, even if it was a volunteer student club), I respectfully asked out the people where I did feel that kind of tension (in other words, I always asked out the people who I had a crush on when I was a teen, except when there were professional boundaries). Unfortunately, I got turned down several times. One initially said yes,…

Ethnicity can be a hard barrier to overcome for men, I've noticed. Guys from certain parts of the world seem to have a tough time navigating American social norms around dating and such. Perhaps where they're from they never interacted socially with the opposite sex. So they have a really tough time connecting 'normally'. And it seems to build this big wall between themselves and women, unnecessarily.

If it was about culture, ethnic men raised in the states would do fine. They are still heavily disadvantaged, it's mostly about women's extreme racial requirements in dating, which are often considered beyond criticism.

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#303

Post by twelve40 »

JeremyNT wrote: post #289
qgin wrote: post #91

Loving families are easy to idealize from afar. How many families actually fit that profile? I’m not entirely sure. This is not a jaded attempt to say the pursuit of relationships or family aren’t worthwhile. I just want to set some context here for those feeling lonely, for those who feel like they are standing outside in the cold on the street looking through windows into warm living rooms full of people with warm…

Quoting Tolstoy may seem low effort, but it feels warranted here: "All happy families are alike, but every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."

I heard this phrase many times, but I really don't understand what it means.

Aside from being stated in extremely dogmatic form - like a claim to the ultimate truth - what, exactly, do we learn from this statement? To me (aside from being probably just an incorrect artistic exaggeration), it sounds like something ridiculously trivial, like "all people live different lives, but everyone dies" (ok, so what?) or "we all like different foods but all of us have to breathe air" (truly a genius observation).

Is there some deeper meaning to this that I'm missing?

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#304

Post by jazzythom »

pengaru wrote: post #28
rr808 wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

4) old enough to be the father of those I consider Yeah this is the real problem. Sure everyone wants to date 20 year old models, but you have to be special to do this. You really would have a lot more than no success with people your own age.

> Sure everyone wants to date 20 year old models This is conflating fucking with dating.

I instantly fall in love with someone I sleep with. In fact I make a connection to any girl I deem pretty that makes eye contact on the subway. I feel a little hurt when they get off the train without saying goodbye

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#305

Post by [deleted] »

anthk wrote: post #225
woyakcrying_jpg wrote: post #213

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think you should stop extrapolating your personal preferences to half of the world's population, too. Something as varying as sexual attraction can't be reduced to a fixed trait that "nature" has figured out. Indeed we don't choose what we like, and that is fine. You don't have to rationalize your preferences to anyone.

Sadly he is right. Men choose younger as a sign of being able to reproduce. Women, older with high status, because they can reproduce until very late. Women can't. Over the age of 30 there's severe risk.

[deleted]

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#306

Post by snvzz »

bowsamic wrote: post #259
snvzz wrote: post #232

Earlier quoted context omitted.

SENS is not about keeping people alive and miserable past that limit. It is about undoing aging, so that you can be young and healthy instead. Living longer is just a side effect of that, as aging kills people.

Yeah I don't really have any desire to be younger or healthier

That's OK I guess, but also quite unusual unless you're young to begin with.

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#307

Post by snvzz »

denton-scratch wrote: post #281
snvzz wrote: post #126

Earlier quoted context omitted.

SENS isn't about death. It's about undoing aging. For as long as I am alive, I'd rather stay as young and healthy as possible. Wouldn't you?

How can you "stay young", if you are in fact old? Youth isn't just a question of fitness and years. Youth pulls in recklessness, a belief in your own immortality, an uncertainty about who you are or what you're for, and a diminished awareness of the past (because you've experienced less of it). There's no medical treatment or fitness regime that will give those things back to you. If you even want them; the loss of t…

>How can you "stay young", if you are in fact old?

Old would be redefined.

Once SENS succeeds, we can easily have 100 year old people with bodies no worse than a 20 year old, both in appearance and function.

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#308

Post by globular-toast »

tasuki wrote: post #299
globular-toast wrote: post #243

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Actively dating means they are not building good relationships. My experience so far is women over 30 are dead inside and way less attractive which means I'm not willing to go to much effort for them. I'm mid-30s, look a little younger than my years and relatively good looking so getting dates is pretty easy. But finding that "spark" that starts a relationship is a completely different matter.

> My experience so far is women over 30 are dead inside Care to elaborate?

They lose their looks but maintain high standards for men. This leads to them waiting for a man who is less and less likely to appear with each passing year. Many want children but know it's already too late. The clock has run out. The fire is gone. Many are on anti-depressants or in therapy etc. After many relationships they seem to lose their ability to bond with a man. And most of them don't truly get any fulfilment from work, hobbies, friends etc. Not having children is a huge void in their lives which they often fill with cats.

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#309

Post by david38 »

lr4444lr wrote: post #201
taylorius wrote: post #133

I'll add my own data point into the mix. I'm 49, have been married for 22 years, with kids who are either grown up, or well on their way. Throughout my life though, I have been an absolute loner in spirit. I grew up quite isolated, in the UK countryside, and learned to amuse myself early on. My first love was computers, which luckily has served me fairly well, career-wise. I haven't had many girlfriends, and felt ver…

Strong predictors of good and bad marriage partners do exist, but I'd caution you against making yourself, wife, and children unhappy for thinking the grass will be greener by blowing up your marriage. Divorce courts have seen many a couple who thought they were star crossed lovers bitterly at one another's throats. Human beings all have flaws that become painfully apparent once you move in with them and thr "honeymo…

Often it isn’t because the grass is greener somewhere else.

There are cases where the grass looked green, but upon marriage, you discovered it false. Cheating, publicly showing off said cheating (yet hiding it from you), no respect, all manner of things can be uncovered.

If the idea of a normal girl sounds like a step up, I wouldn’t sit tight.

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#310

Post by dennis_jeeves1 »

b3morales wrote: post #286
dennis_jeeves1 wrote: post #197

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>How many families actually fit that profile? I’m not entirely sure. Not many. >I’m the only one of my siblings who has consistently been on speaking terms with either of my divorced parents. A large number of people (over 3/4 - perhaps close to 95 %) are dysfunctional or immature in a major way. The are pawns in the game of evolution. >Even given all I’ve said so far, I hope I can build one someday. It boils down to…

This seems like an odd statement, since "dysfunctional" can only be defined in contrast to the majority behavior. It's like the chestnut that 80% of drivers are above average.

I would have used the word "abnormal" if I were to be comparing it to be the majority. Of course the what is defined as dysfunctional would subjective. A bunch of males fighting/competing with each other to death might be heroic in the eyes of some and the behavior can be normal and can be indulged in by the majority, but in my view would be dysfunctional. Guess it a semantics thing?
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