Let me say this to everyone who is single and feeling alone: you did not made a mistake. Grass is not green on the other side. In most cases, it’s exact opposite.
On Aging Alone (2021)
21–30 of 338 posts
Re: On Aging Alone (2021)
#22Earlier quoted context omitted.
my tinder has been quiet for years. I’m looking for an attractive mate and I’m 1) not that attractive 2) fat 3) bald(ing) 4) old enough to be the father of those I consider 5) not rich or successful (yet) and worst of all if I got the pretty girl I wouldn't know what to do with her. I don’t want to be that guy. What I want is to go back in time to when I was young. I guess dating just wasn't in my lot. Everyone gets…
4) old enough to be the father of those I consider Yeah this is the real problem. Sure everyone wants to date 20 year old models, but you have to be special to do this. You really would have a lot more than no success with people your own age.
> Sure everyone wants to date 20 year old models
No they really don't. This is an idea pushed by sociopaths who are somewhere between trash and downright dangerous. They can't date older women because older women spot their bullshit a mile away and steer clear.
Re: On Aging Alone (2021)
#23"I don't want to be alone, I want to be left alone"
Re: On Aging Alone (2021)
#24I am only half the author's age but, in my limited experience, the only thing worse than loneliness is the stifling weight of the impositions and compromises that come with virtually all relationships. The ones that offer enough in return to offset this weight make up the tiniest minority
Can you explain what you mean by this? It sounds like a contradiction, loneliness is bad but friendship is worse?
Re: On Aging Alone (2021)
#25I am only half the author's age but, in my limited experience, the only thing worse than loneliness is the stifling weight of the impositions and compromises that come with virtually all relationships. The ones that offer enough in return to offset this weight make up the tiniest minority
Can you explain what you mean by this? It sounds like a contradiction, loneliness is bad but friendship is worse?
In my experience, yes, though with (very rare) exceptions. I don't see it as a contradiction, though
Re: On Aging Alone (2021)
#26Earlier quoted context omitted.
my tinder has been quiet for years. I’m looking for an attractive mate and I’m 1) not that attractive 2) fat 3) bald(ing) 4) old enough to be the father of those I consider 5) not rich or successful (yet) and worst of all if I got the pretty girl I wouldn't know what to do with her. I don’t want to be that guy. What I want is to go back in time to when I was young. I guess dating just wasn't in my lot. Everyone gets…
4) old enough to be the father of those I consider Yeah this is the real problem. Sure everyone wants to date 20 year old models, but you have to be special to do this. You really would have a lot more than no success with people your own age.
No post body was provided.
Re: On Aging Alone (2021)
#27"To be alone is the fate of all great minds, a fate deplored at times, but still always chosen as the less grievous of two evils."
Arthur Schopenhauer
Re: On Aging Alone (2021)
#28Earlier quoted context omitted.
my tinder has been quiet for years. I’m looking for an attractive mate and I’m 1) not that attractive 2) fat 3) bald(ing) 4) old enough to be the father of those I consider 5) not rich or successful (yet) and worst of all if I got the pretty girl I wouldn't know what to do with her. I don’t want to be that guy. What I want is to go back in time to when I was young. I guess dating just wasn't in my lot. Everyone gets…
4) old enough to be the father of those I consider Yeah this is the real problem. Sure everyone wants to date 20 year old models, but you have to be special to do this. You really would have a lot more than no success with people your own age.
> Sure everyone wants to date 20 year old models
This is conflating fucking with dating.
Re: On Aging Alone (2021)
#29Given the advanced age of the author I'm reminded of a project in Bavaria where older people lived in an autonomous community. Healthy people as well as people with typical old age problems and with some assistance from caregivers, but for the most part the focus was on those people taking care for each other.
I think it was generally considered successful. People were in good health, it seemed like a genuine way to get older people to have a social life that isn't just playing games in some nursing home and it kept them self-reliant which gives people a lot of dignity.
I don't think there's really a clever answer to the philosophical loneliness that's also part of the article that people deal with even when they're around others but as far as physical and communal isolation goes I think projects that bring elderly people together and give them responsibility and active lives is a good thing. A necessary one even I think given the demographic changes almost every country goes through. Many 80+ year old women in particular will outlive their spouses.
Re: On Aging Alone (2021)
#30Let me say this to everyone who is single and feeling alone: you did not made a mistake. Grass is not green on the other side. In most cases, it’s exact opposite.
No offense, but that kind of misses the point. Did you read the essay at the link? It really is very well written.