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On Aging Alone (2021)

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Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#231

Post by TedDoesntTalk »

jakzurr wrote: post #147
qgin wrote: post #91

Loving families are easy to idealize from afar. How many families actually fit that profile? I’m not entirely sure. This is not a jaded attempt to say the pursuit of relationships or family aren’t worthwhile. I just want to set some context here for those feeling lonely, for those who feel like they are standing outside in the cold on the street looking through windows into warm living rooms full of people with warm…

I'm in my 60's. Wasn't going to retire yet, but covid changed my mind. It seemed easier & safer. (Finances not so easy, but oh well.) Parents gone a while now. Three siblings still living; all married; 2 nephews. Whole family seems a bit strange to me, but wouldn't trade them for anything. Maybe I'm the strange one. ;) Only a handful of real friends, maybe half are gone now, but got a couple new ones in their 30's. O…

Right, being alone is not the same as being lonely. I guess you realize that, but you did not explicitly state it. I keep hearing the Beatles song in my head now. Elenor Rigby.

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#232

Post by snvzz »

bowsamic wrote: post #186
throwawaylonely wrote: post #183

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you're not, why not die now? If you get an infection that would kill you without medical attention, why not just let it kill you?

Just because I'm not scared of death doesn't mean I don't see any reason to live. I enjoy life and living. I would pursue treatments but there is eventually a limit past which I would not bother

SENS is not about keeping people alive and miserable past that limit.

It is about undoing aging, so that you can be young and healthy instead.

Living longer is just a side effect of that, as aging kills people.

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#233

Post by the_only_law »

viksit wrote: post #16

My 2c. Offer people something. Whatever it is. Fitness. Intelligence. Humor. Pick what you’re good at. And then find those who’d like it. It’s not always about you, it’s about others. Age IMHO isn’t a barrier in this.

As someone who often has offered humor, I find you just end up becoming a sideshow.

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#234

Post by the_only_law »

frontman1988 wrote: post #120
kromem wrote: post #50

AI companionships for the elderly is going to be a beyond massive market by the time we're all old. Sometimes we just need people to listen, and in that AI will exceed most humans, who are generally just waiting for their chance to have someone else listen to them. I'm starting to see the initial beginnings of that market, and already the reviews are eye opening. People gushing over how much of a difference a text-ch…

Yeah we will probably see some whacky things come out of Japan soon in this regards. The median age is 47. It's a country of old people and childless youth.

What happened to Japan? They were on the upswing for part of the 20th century and from what I’ve heard, a lot of people in America looked at Japan like one might look at China nowadays, a dangerous economic rival to keep a watch on.

I don’t know much about contemporary Japanese though, and am not sure where to start. I am curious how they went from a threatening world economy to a nation with large dysfunctional youths.

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#235

Post by starkd »

fartcannon wrote: post #34
starkd wrote: post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Quoted post unavailable.

What song is that? What came to my mind was 'If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life' by Jimmy Soul which is a doo-wop song you couldn't write anymore.

I don't remember and can't seem to find it. I remember people talking about the song more than the song itself, so it would be hard to recognize it. But the Jimmy Soul one makes the point well enough: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EqFVWzOfN8

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#236

Post by dazc »

taylorius wrote: post #133

I'll add my own data point into the mix. I'm 49, have been married for 22 years, with kids who are either grown up, or well on their way. Throughout my life though, I have been an absolute loner in spirit. I grew up quite isolated, in the UK countryside, and learned to amuse myself early on. My first love was computers, which luckily has served me fairly well, career-wise. I haven't had many girlfriends, and felt ver…

Be careful about what you are considering throwing away. I'm a bit older and when people ask me why I'm not married I reply simply that all the best women were snapped up in their 20's.

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#237

Post by beebeepka »

refurb wrote: post #193
Gigachad wrote: post #69

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Listen to yourself. When you start talking about the signal to noise ratio and calculating the return on investment of social interactions, its time to step away from the keyboard and reevaluate your life. Your brain has been fried by hustle culture.

Very Gigachad comment, Gigachad! The most relaxing time for me is going back to the small beach town where my surviving parent retired. The pace is slow . It takes a few days for me to downshift from a “fit everything in you wanted to do” to the “lets see what the day brings” mindset. You might go for a walk, run into a friend and decide to just stop by for a coffee for an hour and catch up. After that? Who knows. Ma…

Comments like yours remind me that I barely have a connection to this world anymore. Maybe it's just being old, or not being in the US.

Checking yelp reviews before getting lunch is the most alien thing I've read here in quite a while. And this site is full of people who I don't get at all.

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#238

Post by starkd »

dazc wrote: post #236
taylorius wrote: post #133

I'll add my own data point into the mix. I'm 49, have been married for 22 years, with kids who are either grown up, or well on their way. Throughout my life though, I have been an absolute loner in spirit. I grew up quite isolated, in the UK countryside, and learned to amuse myself early on. My first love was computers, which luckily has served me fairly well, career-wise. I haven't had many girlfriends, and felt ver…

Be careful about what you are considering throwing away. I'm a bit older and when people ask me why I'm not married I reply simply that all the best women were snapped up in their 20's.

I once heard someone put it, as to why he wasn't married, that he wants what he can't have, and he can have what he doesn't want.

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#239

Post by jjfoooo6 »

taylorius wrote: post #133

I'll add my own data point into the mix. I'm 49, have been married for 22 years, with kids who are either grown up, or well on their way. Throughout my life though, I have been an absolute loner in spirit. I grew up quite isolated, in the UK countryside, and learned to amuse myself early on. My first love was computers, which luckily has served me fairly well, career-wise. I haven't had many girlfriends, and felt ver…

> I would like to start living life as I would like it, both career and relationship wise

If you'd be comfortable sharing, why do you feel this is not something you can achieve with your partner?

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#240

Post by [deleted] »

openknot wrote: post #58
vinceguidry wrote: post #31

I have always had a tough time applying the tool of reason to the problem of loneliness. In a way, I don't feel like I've ever been lonely. Not that I have never felt the same way that people who do describe themselves as lonely feel. I have and still often do. The 'problem' is that I've always been able to isolate the reason I'm feeling that way and administer some kind of intervention. And I know, that getting olde…

>"Is my soul yearning for spiritual connection? I've got a good friend for that. My libido looking for an exhilarating one? There's bars and the ubiquitous 'more-than-friend-but-not-quite-committed' friendship we all seem to have but never seem to really look to for that sort of thing. The least lonely person I know is in his late 70s. He's always talking to someone whenever I see him." Academic research may be a goo…

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