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On Aging Alone (2021)

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Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#111

Post by justrudd »

I was talking with my sister a couple of days ago, and we started talking about being alone.

She is an extrovert’s extrovert. When things were locked down for her, she got really, really depressed. At one point, she didn’t even care if she got COVID because she was slowly going insane not being around people everyday. Zoom, texting, etc. didn’t work for her. So for her, alone == loneliness.

I am on the total opposite end of that spectrum. I can go days without speaking to anyone. Usually Thursday afternoon till Tuesday morning when my first required meeting is. For me, alone == bliss. I LOVE the self checkout lanes at grocers. Don’t even have to feign small talk with the checker anymore.

Anyway, during the conversation she asked whether X was the last person I was in a relationship with back in 2017. And in thinking about it, other than some random dinners, I haven’t been in a relationship for 5 years. I hadn’t even realized it had been 5 years. My best friend at the time moved out of state in 2019, and I’ve not talked to them since. I do have one friend that still lives near me. We’ll text, but rarely see each other (they have an autoimmune disorder. So they’re very careful because of COVID). Other than saying “hi” to my neighbors when we happen to be checking the mail at the same time, I rarely see people outside of Zoom meetings. I started wondering if I should be lonely, and I’m really not. At this point, I’m afraid of what would happen if I really tried to cultivate a relationship (romantic or platonic) with someone. On the flip side, I’m wondering how much further I need to go to reach full hermit…

On the bright side, I got to play with Twilio. I figured with my lack of human interactions, I should probably have a “dead man’s switch” checking on me. So I’ve got an app that will text me every couple of days. If I don’t reply back within a certain time frame, it’ll call a couple of people and tell them they might want to have a wellness check done on me :)

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#112

Post by devnull3 »

The thing I fear most is not loneliness but getting old and loosing senses (eye-sight, hearing, movement etc).

I can't imagine what I will do. Can't even read books or listen to music, enjoy occasional TV. Its a lose-lose situation.

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#113

Post by bcrosby95 »

sbf501 wrote: post #88

I'm in my mid 50's and a number of peers from different circles have all come to the same conclusion: they want to create intentional communities of friends to age with. One couple purchased several acres of land and has two friends living in a tiny house with them. Another friend is trying to raise capital to build the type of apartments/dormitories that the majority of US city-dwellers inhabitied in the late 1880's…

I have a wife and 3 kids, but we always talk about, for retirement, making a pact with our friends and all retiring to the same place - be that a plot of land with a bunch of tiny houses, or a small no-name town where anyone could afford a house.

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#114

Post by jabbany »

cm2012 wrote: post #57
kromem wrote: post #50

AI companionships for the elderly is going to be a beyond massive market by the time we're all old. Sometimes we just need people to listen, and in that AI will exceed most humans, who are generally just waiting for their chance to have someone else listen to them. I'm starting to see the initial beginnings of that market, and already the reviews are eye opening. People gushing over how much of a difference a text-ch…

People are skeptical of this but the new AI conversation capabilities are just so good these days and will only get better. At some point it really will be like a supportive friend (albeit with limitations)

Not hard to imagine building an AI conversation agent to prey on the elderly by being a "friend" then mugging them for all they've got.

There are plenty of scams that take advantage of the elderly facilitated by real humans already. I shudder to think what that would look like at scale via AI.

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#116

Post by agumonkey »

justrudd wrote: post #111

I was talking with my sister a couple of days ago, and we started talking about being alone. She is an extrovert’s extrovert. When things were locked down for her, she got really, really depressed. At one point, she didn’t even care if she got COVID because she was slowly going insane not being around people everyday. Zoom, texting, etc. didn’t work for her. So for her, alone == loneliness. I am on the total opposite…

After spending 15-20 years in introversion mode, I felt back the chill side of being with others. But at times I sense the isolation bliss.. I'd feel slightly lighter and freer when in the toilet or biking/hiking. Odd. Part of it comes from a need for depth .. and being with people you wonder how they feel, if they're ok, why did they think or say this but you can't communicate (or extremely rarely) so it piles up as a frustrating void turning into stress.

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#117

Post by barry-cotter »

colechristensen wrote: post #52
snvzz wrote: post #40

We need to start thinking about doing something about the aging problem. The tools are here, it's a matter of getting it done. SENS foundation is trying just that[0]. 0. https://www.sens.org/our-research/intro-to-sens-research/

I mean doubtful any solution is going to do anything besides extend the process.

Sounds good to me. An extra ten healthy years would be pretty great.

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#119

Post by auraham »

bcrosby95 wrote: post #113
sbf501 wrote: post #88

I'm in my mid 50's and a number of peers from different circles have all come to the same conclusion: they want to create intentional communities of friends to age with. One couple purchased several acres of land and has two friends living in a tiny house with them. Another friend is trying to raise capital to build the type of apartments/dormitories that the majority of US city-dwellers inhabitied in the late 1880's…

I have a wife and 3 kids, but we always talk about, for retirement, making a pact with our friends and all retiring to the same place - be that a plot of land with a bunch of tiny houses, or a small no-name town where anyone could afford a house.

Not entirely related but it seems like the plot of 'Grace and Frankie' on Netflix: two old ladies that become friends and spend their last years together.

Re: On Aging Alone (2021)

#120

Post by frontman1988 »

kromem wrote: post #50

AI companionships for the elderly is going to be a beyond massive market by the time we're all old. Sometimes we just need people to listen, and in that AI will exceed most humans, who are generally just waiting for their chance to have someone else listen to them. I'm starting to see the initial beginnings of that market, and already the reviews are eye opening. People gushing over how much of a difference a text-ch…

Yeah we will probably see some whacky things come out of Japan soon in this regards. The median age is 47. It's a country of old people and childless youth.
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