A lot of comments have said "stay in therapy" or "quit therapy", but my immediate reaction is that maybe you have the wrong (ineffective) therapist and need to switch . My spidey sense went up when you mentioned what "you told your therapist", full stop. I was at least expecting "what my therapist responded" or "what my therapist told me that didn't work". That really (spidey sense, no evidence really) implies that y…
The problem with therapists is that they never say what they are doing, what approach they are taking or what techniques they are applying. This makes them less trustworthy, imho.
Ask them, it's common now for them to advertise their approach (CBT, DBT, psychoanalysis, ect)
There is a lot of advice being giving here. What works for one person may work for another, and frankly, it may not.
You already have the wisdom required to live a fulfilling life within. Truly believing this and discovering this wisdom is often not easy, as it appears you have already discovered.
All I can say is that the process of deeply getting to know myself has been a lot of work and absolutely worth it for me. It's a journey that I feel I will be on for the rest of my life. And it's f*cking wonderful.
I'm a developer as well, and a relatively new coach, though I'm not currently practicing due to other prior commitments. Therapy is wonderful. So is coaching. Both can go hand in hand.
Feel free to reach out to me if you'd like to have a deeper conversation (same username on Twitter).
A lot of comments have said "stay in therapy" or "quit therapy", but my immediate reaction is that maybe you have the wrong (ineffective) therapist and need to switch . My spidey sense went up when you mentioned what "you told your therapist", full stop. I was at least expecting "what my therapist responded" or "what my therapist told me that didn't work". That really (spidey sense, no evidence really) implies that y…
Add to the "choose your therapist" idea, the idea that maybe talky therapy alone might not work. Practical activities as a means of therapy recently helped me with my mental illness; specifically, doing outdoor crafts alongside other mental health sufferers, with day-long sessions led by professionals. I learned to whittle and to prune trees, and met new people, and conformed my life to a weekly routine. I felt a great sense of community, and satisfaction from the immediacy of working with wood. The therapy lasted eight weeks, with promise to do more in the future. It was very informal, with a little structured discussion at the start and end of each day, but no pressure to talk in depth about problems. The course has helped me more than talking with a doctor or trying CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy). It was a proper, medically referred course of therapy. I was told it's quite new. I'm in my late 30s, in case you're wondering. I live in the UK. I had been suffering depressive symptoms on top of my existing schizophrenia, feeling very lonely and like life had ended for me. The course reversed that. I recommend trying something practical and creative, with an immediately perceptible result (like whittling), and joining that community; if you haven't already tried. If you can access this through your doctor, then great.
Lookup a mystic by the name of "Sadhguru" on youtube and watch his videos, also check out jason gregory. It's totally eye opening and life changing. You NEED this. I can't possibly explain it all in one post. but, to give you a hint: everything we strive for in the outside world is all for naught. At the end of the day, what matters is your internal state of mind, how you process inputs. we keep trying to rearrange t…
Oh, please. Sadhguru is a politician who talk pseudoscience and a tool of current Indian Government.
A lot of comments have said "stay in therapy" or "quit therapy", but my immediate reaction is that maybe you have the wrong (ineffective) therapist and need to switch . My spidey sense went up when you mentioned what "you told your therapist", full stop. I was at least expecting "what my therapist responded" or "what my therapist told me that didn't work". That really (spidey sense, no evidence really) implies that y…
The problem with therapists is that they never say what they are doing, what approach they are taking or what techniques they are applying. This makes them less trustworthy, imho.
You can likely just ask them, but either way I saw their methods plainly advertised when I went looking for an online therapist in early 2021.
I spent too many years ruthlessly perusing my career and passion for coding. Sure, I have a bunch of a money and my dream job but now what? I spent the last 8 years with a girl that I was certain I was going to marry. She cheated on me last month and I hit rock bottom. I didn't want to code anymore, I didn't even want to play games or get out of bed. I started working out, eating healthy, and improving myself however…
>Oh and I wouldn't touch Ketamine... I'm curious: why not? Nice to hear you were able to get over it -or at least take the steps to eventually do. Inspiring honestly, keep at it.
Just a guess but probably saw lots of friends abuse special-k ( as did I ) and saw what it did to them while they were on it.
I think therapeutic ketamine is a different beast.
I have been a 'serial entrepreneur' for my entire career. The experience has changed many times, with being a principle in a new venture, to being a hire at a more mature startup, to being a consultant at my own company. Back and forth many times.
Its a journey, not a destination. I suggest that the burn-out feeling, the impostor feeling, the whats-it-all-for depression, are symptoms it's time to change. None are 'true' in that they are temporary.
Heck, teach at a junior college for a semester or two, be with young people full of idealism. It's a tonic.
I'm 41 and I can understand the existential ennui of being capable and not finding satisfaction in it, or life. I hate each passing birthday as it seems to mark yet another failed year of finding content; hopefully, you can intellectually see that, when I say it, it isn't true and worth trying - what else can one do?
I've also been medicated on SSRIs (in my opinion, they were only worth it when I was going to kill myself), had therapy (good, up to a point for me, but worth pursuing with an open mind, especially when you are in a mental health crisis; sounds like you are), and tried some alternatives (shrooms have worked well to shift me out of prolonged depression when the standard meds and therapy were not helping; have a look at https://doi.org/10.1038/s41591-022-01744-z, also a great interview with David Nutt on MedLifeCrisis)
Perhaps you might find Healthly Gamer useful as well (https://www.healthygamer.gg/, interviews on youtube here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClHVl2N3jPEbkNJVx-ItQIQ). It has been useful for me. The interviews have helped me over the last 6 months not to feel as isolated. They also gave me insight into my therapy and the workings on my mind.
Good luck and I genuinely hope you are able to find a more content existence.
On the happiness front, consider learning about Positive Psychology (a rigorous research subfield within psychology focusing on happiness and well being). If you read books, consider reading ones by Ph.D. researchers in the field, rather than journalists (who unfortunately often overstep conclusions of research findings).