71–80 of 452 posts
What's wrong with being done at 40? Maybe move into some low paying job where you can coast and focus on non-work stuff. Maybe buy that muscle car and go to AutoX and track days (basically find a hobby with a community).
I never got the appeal of open-world sandbox type games either.
If I had what you had, I would just: 1) raise my kid 2) build stuff 3) write fiction 4) consume without guilt (media, restaurants, hobbies and gadgets, etc)
If you need inspiration, here's an introduction to my weird hobby and community: https://soatok.blog/2020/04/23/never-underestimate-the-furry...
Also, pick up a copy of The Happiness Hypothesis sometime. https://smile.amazon.com/Happiness-Hypothesis-Finding-Modern...
I'd like to think I'd take inspiration from Nick Stellino, a former Wall Street guy that made a ton of money and then decided to start over as a chef:
"he had built a successful career as a stockbroker. Nick’s Wall Street career was lucrative, but he realized something was missing. ... He decided to pursue a culinary career. ... With no formal experience, Nick was told he couldn’t work as a chef. Not to be denied a job in the industry, he initially took a job as a dishwasher. He went on to apprentice with some of the best chefs in America. While working in the restaurant business, he realized that he wanted to share his enthusiasm for cooking with others and that a television cooking show would be the best way to do that." [1]
I'm sure there's some embellishing here, but the point stands that you have unlimited options now to pursue what give you joy and purpose. Want to be a watchmaker working on antique Rolex timepieces? Starting an all organic bespoke wedding cake business? Running for City Comptroller in the next election?
I'm in my early 40s, and when I start to feel that way, I remind myself that Richard Hipp, lead developer of SQLite, didn't start to do what is indisputably his best work until he started developing SQLite 3 in his 40s. So your best work might still be ahead of you.
Medical intervention can be helpful short-term, but long-term you want to look at what satisfies you. Fast forward yourself to 55, and think to your self "Wow, I'm really impressed with myself that I did $x." And then get to doing $x.
Do you try starting a family? It is a lot of fun, it is rewarding as well and distracting. I find it centering and gives me perspective. I didn't see any mention of that in your post.
It is especially not a solution to some kind of deep-seated existential/self-worth issues that OP seems to have. I also get the impression that he is either divorced or not on great terms with his spouse since he refers to her as "The Wife." If so, that would be a terrible environment to deliberately raise a child in. He's also 44 which is not too old to have children, but about a decade or two past the norm.
Ideally one should be exercise. Cardio, lifting, whatever.
Rest and vest. Enjoy your time with your family.
That's all I have. Hope it is enough!
I can't possibly explain it all in one post. but, to give you a hint: everything we strive for in the outside world is all for naught. At the end of the day, what matters is your internal state of mind, how you process inputs. we keep trying to rearrange the outside world, as if the outside world was a representation of our minds.