Earlier quoted context omitted.
Good schools are overrated, don't let them ruin your life
Exactly, probably better to teach ones kids how to be decent little people and then have faith that they'll figure it out.
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I need to stop being boring
191–200 of 258 posts
Re: I need to stop being boring
#192While I understand the urge to improve one's life, I really feel like we have in general sort of gone off the rails in our quest for a better life. What we have instead is now some kind of social-media-fueled, angst-driven obsession about self-optimization. Everyone is constantly obsessed with themselves and their own performance in every aspect of life. Are you efficient enough? Are you productive enough? Are you ea…
This! So much this! ^^^
Re: I need to stop being boring
#193Earlier quoted context omitted.
Good schools are overrated, don't let them ruin your life
Exactly, probably better to teach ones kids how to be decent little people and then have faith that they'll figure it out.
Figure out that unless you've won the genetic lottery you don't need to apply?
>> Because this is Hong Kong, and if you want to get into a good high school, and then a good university later in life, this is what you do here, unless either A) your kid has really high IQ and would skip years or B) you are rich and don't mind just paying your way through international schools.
Sounds like the plot of GATTACA. Maybe people who don't live there should not hand out advice too easily?
Re: I need to stop being boring
#194> So what went wrong? My gut feeling is that I am boring. A lot of pain seems to come from a poor vocabulary about feelings. What is boring? It's a weak and flattened word like the feelings it's used about. Do you mean avolition, acedia, irascibility, dissatisfaction, insensibility, repression, discouragement, ambivalence, anxiety? The Psychology of the Emotions by Neal Burton is a fair place to continue the introspe…
> All progress depends upon the unreasonable man. You need to stop being reasonable and yet there's an unreasonable man invading another country right now. I dont think progress depends on the unreasonable man. It depends on the reasonable man who would put in the sweat and blood, but might be inspired or paid by the unreasonable man.
Reasonable men just follow orders.
Re: I need to stop being boring
#195I'm afraid most tech people need to get out more. The job is hard, side projects are fun and you need to leetcode in your spare time to get a job. However its very easy to be boring. People benefit from making non-tech friends, play sports, travel, read novels, learn about spirituality, make music, build furniture but I dont see a lot of that happening. I'm a corporate cog and its my biggest regret.
That making friends bit is proving to be a bit difficult for me at the moment.
Same. It's shocking how visibly my social circle shrinks as my ability to make new friendships also diminishes. I don't know if it's a part of getting in to my mid-30s (and all my friends now making families, moving away) or the pandemic, or both, but I find myself increasingly with no one to talk to.
Re: I need to stop being boring
#196My two cents:
1. Turn off social media. Or at least avoid all the fake, self-promoting garbage.
2. Accept that you're probably not gonna cure cancer or solve cold fusion. Nothing wrong with that.
3. Get a hobby that has NOTHING to do with computers. I like wood-working - building patio furniture, stuff like that.
4. Contrary to #3, get a Raspberry Pi. I've worked on many completely useless, yet totally fun, Pi projects.
Re: I need to stop being boring
#197If you are boring to yourself, you are boring to others.
Learn to enjoy your own company and how to keep yourself from being bored even when you're alone.
Then find others who enjoy doing the things you enjoy, and you can have fun together.
Re: I need to stop being boring
#198Earlier quoted context omitted.
I’m a parent of two children and most of the time I’m extremely bored and struggling for motivation. My older child is a pre-teen constantly screaming and raging about the tiniest things. It’s a tremendous energy drain. But the children are certainly not the reason for my lurking depression: it was there before I had kids, and being a parent hasn’t magically transformed my life with meaning. These things are roughly…
Same struggle. Except my elder daughter isn't "screaming and raging about the tiniest things" (yet). She's just... a total mess at a few things (self-motivation, self-awareness, responsibility, tact), constantly getting chastized by my wife. I don't have fun with my kids. I have no more friend in real life (even before the pandemic). I can't even play computer games when I want to because my kids take too darn long t…
I’ll try not to do the quote/respond thing too much, but a few things about this post concern me.
> I don't have fun with my kids.
I think that’s a serious problem. Personally, I would prioritize that over all the studying and activities. They are kids. Fun is their job.
> I can't even play computer games when I want to because my kids take too darn long to finish their homework
Let them do their homework on their own, and you can play some games. It’s not your homework, let them do it.
Or just play games instead of the reading you don’t enjoy.
People, they’ll be fine without all the activities. Go out and have some fun together.
Re: I need to stop being boring
#199If you are boring to yourself, you are boring to others. Learn to enjoy your own company and how to keep yourself from being bored even when you're alone. Then find others who enjoy doing the things you enjoy, and you can have fun together.
I love my own company but not everyone else does
Re: I need to stop being boring
#200Earlier quoted context omitted.
Same struggle. Except my elder daughter isn't "screaming and raging about the tiniest things" (yet). She's just... a total mess at a few things (self-motivation, self-awareness, responsibility, tact), constantly getting chastized by my wife. I don't have fun with my kids. I have no more friend in real life (even before the pandemic). I can't even play computer games when I want to because my kids take too darn long t…
Why do you keep doing things that don't make you happy? Why do you feel the need to do so many extra-curricular activities related to child education? Can't you take your kids to the park, show them stuff and talk to them about it? One of the cool things that most adults forget about childhood is that everything is new for kids. Even stuff that kids are used to; they have really only scratched the surface of- they ha…
The last paragraph hits home. Going to a therapist has done wonders for me.