31–40 of 99 posts
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Great advice from Herman Melville’s “Bartleby, the Scrivener”: simply saying “I would prefer not to…” has worked so many times for me.
I would like to hear (read) Melville's Bartebly's genius response in other languages. For my part: Radije ne bih. (Serbian)
Earlier quoted context omitted.
When I read the title, I imagined this would be about social and romantic situations. In personal contexts, of course you have the right to say no with no further explanation. In professional contexts... you're being paid to be to serve the business. If someone who's part of that business asks you something, you don't get to just say no unless you're the CEO. You can say no and explain that you're not the right perso…
> When I read the title, I imagined this would be about social and romantic situations. In personal contexts, of course you have the right to say no with no further explanation. Maybe you need to rethink that. Do your friends really warrant less respect than colleagues?
Are your friends paying you to complete whatever tasks they ask of you?
Really what it means is this: A friend may ask something of you and you decline with a stated reason. Then they start finding ways to tell you your reason is invalid and then therefore you shouldn't refuse. This is the part that's disrespectful. Sometimes you are willing to have a discussion and change your mind, but there is too much of a culture where people think they can always out argue your "no".
With people who don't respect this boundary, giving a reason is never good enough and just gives them fodder to exhaust you with pointless arguments. Sometimes you really are not willing to change your mind. This is where the title of this article applies -- don't give them any material to go on and end with a "no" alone.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
When I read the title, I imagined this would be about social and romantic situations. In personal contexts, of course you have the right to say no with no further explanation. In professional contexts... you're being paid to be to serve the business. If someone who's part of that business asks you something, you don't get to just say no unless you're the CEO. You can say no and explain that you're not the right perso…
> When I read the title, I imagined this would be about social and romantic situations. In personal contexts, of course you have the right to say no with no further explanation. Maybe you need to rethink that. Do your friends really warrant less respect than colleagues?
From an organizational perspective, this is horrible advice: > Let me tell you clearly. “No” is a complete sentence. It requires no explanation or defense. The "It requires no explanation or defense" part is just plain wrong . If someone asks you to do something in an organization, it's fine to say "No", but an explanation is nearly always expected. And this explanation is critical, because often time the answer is s…
"What's your favourite kind of theatre?"
"No."
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I wouldn’t simply say no either, but to be fair their advice was to start with no. Then wait for their reply to determine whether you need to provide a detailed explanation or not. Essentially use their reply to smoke out the people who are going to get angry even if do you give an explanation, so you don’t waste time. I don’t know if the overlap between those 2 groups (people who get mad at “No” with no explanation,…
I think the prior comment is pretty spot on. It's hard for me to think of anyone I might ask for something and not feel annoyed or even disrespected if I was given absolutely no explanation. Even if I had reached out to someone I don't know, basic politeness would dictate some sort of reason even if it's a "sorry I don't have time for that right now" or even "I'm just not interested in participating". If I actually k…
I also think the article is likely a bit hyperbolic/clickbaity, and what the author would actually say is something like, “No. Sorry” or “No. Sorry. Don’t have time.” As opposed to “No. .
From an organizational perspective, this is horrible advice: > Let me tell you clearly. “No” is a complete sentence. It requires no explanation or defense. The "It requires no explanation or defense" part is just plain wrong . If someone asks you to do something in an organization, it's fine to say "No", but an explanation is nearly always expected. And this explanation is critical, because often time the answer is s…
Counterexample: "What's your favourite kind of theatre?" "No." I'd need more explanation if they said Yes¹.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Great advice from Herman Melville’s “Bartleby, the Scrivener”: simply saying “I would prefer not to…” has worked so many times for me.
I would like to hear (read) Melville's Bartebly's genius response in other languages. For my part: Radije ne bih. (Serbian)
From an organizational perspective, this is horrible advice: > Let me tell you clearly. “No” is a complete sentence. It requires no explanation or defense. The "It requires no explanation or defense" part is just plain wrong . If someone asks you to do something in an organization, it's fine to say "No", but an explanation is nearly always expected. And this explanation is critical, because often time the answer is s…
Returning a very terse answer to a person who has taken the time to make complex, well reasoned argument/request is rude though. And we all know that. With speech, the trick is to anticipate someone is building up to a "big ask", and cut it short, politely. Otherwise you're letting the other humiliate themself for a long time when you know your answer is going to have to be 'no'. Brevity is occasionally good. A quick…