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No is a complete sentence

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Re: No is a complete sentence

#21

Post by superfrank »

nineteen999 wrote: post #8
hn_throwaway_99 wrote: post #5

From an organizational perspective, this is horrible advice: > Let me tell you clearly. “No” is a complete sentence. It requires no explanation or defense. The "It requires no explanation or defense" part is just plain wrong . If someone asks you to do something in an organization, it's fine to say "No", but an explanation is nearly always expected. And this explanation is critical, because often time the answer is s…

It really depends on where the request is coming from. If it's from your manager or another department that depends on you, then sure, an explanation is probably a good idea. Anyone else, well, no. If their issue is important enough, they can escalate it to your manager.

I think this is still terrible advice. As a manager, I expect the people on my team to at least try to fight their own battles. I'm always there to help if they need me, but if I'm continually being called in to resolve disputes that could have been avoided with a few minutes of conversation, I'm going to be upset. It wastes everyone's time and strain on relationships with the people around you.

Re: No is a complete sentence

#22

Post by awillen »

hn_throwaway_99 wrote: post #5

From an organizational perspective, this is horrible advice: > Let me tell you clearly. “No” is a complete sentence. It requires no explanation or defense. The "It requires no explanation or defense" part is just plain wrong . If someone asks you to do something in an organization, it's fine to say "No", but an explanation is nearly always expected. And this explanation is critical, because often time the answer is s…

When I read the title, I imagined this would be about social and romantic situations. In personal contexts, of course you have the right to say no with no further explanation.

In professional contexts... you're being paid to be to serve the business. If someone who's part of that business asks you something, you don't get to just say no unless you're the CEO. You can say no and explain that you're not the right person, or you can direct them elsewhere or any number of other things, but when you agree to take money to do a job, you obligate yourself to do things like answer questions reasonably.

Re: No is a complete sentence

#23

Post by novosel »

kingforaday wrote: post #10
hn_throwaway_99 wrote: post #5

From an organizational perspective, this is horrible advice: > Let me tell you clearly. “No” is a complete sentence. It requires no explanation or defense. The "It requires no explanation or defense" part is just plain wrong . If someone asks you to do something in an organization, it's fine to say "No", but an explanation is nearly always expected. And this explanation is critical, because often time the answer is s…

Great advice from Herman Melville’s “Bartleby, the Scrivener”: simply saying “I would prefer not to…” has worked so many times for me.

I would like to hear (read) Melville's Bartebly's genius response in other languages.

For my part:

Radije ne bih. (Serbian)

Re: No is a complete sentence

#24

Post by anbende »

sarchertech wrote: post #17
hn_throwaway_99 wrote: post #5

From an organizational perspective, this is horrible advice: > Let me tell you clearly. “No” is a complete sentence. It requires no explanation or defense. The "It requires no explanation or defense" part is just plain wrong . If someone asks you to do something in an organization, it's fine to say "No", but an explanation is nearly always expected. And this explanation is critical, because often time the answer is s…

I wouldn’t simply say no either, but to be fair their advice was to start with no. Then wait for their reply to determine whether you need to provide a detailed explanation or not. Essentially use their reply to smoke out the people who are going to get angry even if do you give an explanation, so you don’t waste time. I don’t know if the overlap between those 2 groups (people who get mad at “No” with no explanation,…

I think the prior comment is pretty spot on. It's hard for me to think of anyone I might ask for something and not feel annoyed or even disrespected if I was given absolutely no explanation. Even if I had reached out to someone I don't know, basic politeness would dictate some sort of reason even if it's a "sorry I don't have time for that right now" or even "I'm just not interested in participating".

If I actually knew the person, a "no" with no explanation would virtually always have negative consequences. To a boss, it would likely be insubordinate. From an in subordinate, the same and would likely elicit a "I beg your pardon?" From a friend or colleague, it would cause me to question our friendship.

In the modern world, politeness is largely built on a willingness to explain and give verbal consideration. Not doing so will often (if not usually) feel disrespectful or like some sort of power-play.

Re: No is a complete sentence

#25

Post by mewse »

A “No” answer by itself implies one of two longer answers; either “No, and you should already know why not” (i.e.: “Hey, do you want to rob that bank with me?”), or “No, and I don’t owe you an explanation” (i.e.: “Do you want to go out sometime?”)

I feel like in a work context, ‘no’s really need more of an explanation than that in most cases (with obvious exceptions if a request is wildly inappropriate or unethical). For work-related questions from folks higher up than you, a ‘no’ is a chance to give them more of a view of what’s going on in the trenches, and for those lower than you it’s a chance to mentor them and give them a wider view of the work, helping lift them up a little closer to your own level. And either way, that explanation for the ‘no’ is where all the value of the communication is coming from.

If you don’t give the longer explanation immediately, it leaves the asker questioning whether you meant the “and I don’t owe you an explanation” or the “and you should already know why not” version of “no”. Neither of which is great for maintaining cordial work relationships.

Re: No is a complete sentence

#27

Post by LudwigNagasena »

awillen wrote: post #22
hn_throwaway_99 wrote: post #5

From an organizational perspective, this is horrible advice: > Let me tell you clearly. “No” is a complete sentence. It requires no explanation or defense. The "It requires no explanation or defense" part is just plain wrong . If someone asks you to do something in an organization, it's fine to say "No", but an explanation is nearly always expected. And this explanation is critical, because often time the answer is s…

When I read the title, I imagined this would be about social and romantic situations. In personal contexts, of course you have the right to say no with no further explanation. In professional contexts... you're being paid to be to serve the business. If someone who's part of that business asks you something, you don't get to just say no unless you're the CEO. You can say no and explain that you're not the right perso…

> When I read the title, I imagined this would be about social and romantic situations. In personal contexts, of course you have the right to say no with no further explanation.

Maybe you need to rethink that. Do your friends really warrant less respect than colleagues?

Re: No is a complete sentence

#29

Post by beachy »

LudwigNagasena wrote: post #27
awillen wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

When I read the title, I imagined this would be about social and romantic situations. In personal contexts, of course you have the right to say no with no further explanation. In professional contexts... you're being paid to be to serve the business. If someone who's part of that business asks you something, you don't get to just say no unless you're the CEO. You can say no and explain that you're not the right perso…

> When I read the title, I imagined this would be about social and romantic situations. In personal contexts, of course you have the right to say no with no further explanation. Maybe you need to rethink that. Do your friends really warrant less respect than colleagues?

Personal contexts are different. Quite acceptable to say just "No" to:

- do you want me to get you a drink?

- may I kiss you?

- I hear they're doing shrooms next door, shall we join them?

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