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No is a complete sentence

networkingnerd.net

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Re: No is a complete sentence

#3
I agree with the sentiment from the perspective of a networking professional, where any deviation from one aspect of a design can completely break the logic of its performance or security.

However, it’s not good advice from a management perspective. ‘No’ is an absolute statement that implies inflexibility and does not invite discourse to justify a position. If it is applied more frequently for some people than others, it can raise issues around the perception of fairness, and even arrogance.

It certainly had its place in certain political situations, but there are more tactful ways of saying no, like ‘we will be fulfilling the organisation’s need for performance by continuing down this path’, which is a positive statement.

Re: No is a complete sentence

#4
Returning a very terse answer to a person who has taken the time to make complex, well reasoned argument/request is rude though. And we all know that. With speech, the trick is to anticipate someone is building up to a "big ask", and cut it short, politely. Otherwise you're letting the other humiliate themself for a long time when you know your answer is going to have to be 'no'.

Brevity is occasionally good. A quick and confident response can signal honesty. Or be efficient. At officer school they teach you "not to umm and err", or to "soften" speech.

But most of the time, a response that isn't commensurate seems haughty.

I notice some HN commentators doing it when they just write one word:

"citatation?"

Sure, it's mocking Wikipedia, I get that, but it's still jolly uncivil.

(cue a dozen replies of "citation?" :)

Re: No is a complete sentence

#5
From an organizational perspective, this is horrible advice:

> Let me tell you clearly. “No” is a complete sentence. It requires no explanation or defense.

The "It requires no explanation or defense" part is just plain wrong. If someone asks you to do something in an organization, it's fine to say "No", but an explanation is nearly always expected. And this explanation is critical, because often time the answer is something like "I don't have time", when a positive, helpful rejoinder would be "What else would you like me to stop doing if you want me to do this other thing."

This advice really just seems to my like something the "arrogant tech support guy" from SNL would say.

Re: No is a complete sentence

#7
What kind of environment do people work in where this is acceptable advice? Daily interactions with other people, whether at work or outside, aren't meant to be algorithmic functions with a "yes" or "no" output. If you care to maintain actual relationships then your behavior has to be a lot more nuanced than that. Even though the response may be fully justified, you have to get that justification out there. People can't read your mind, and after a while you will stop getting the benefit of doubt.

If I had a coworker who simply said "no" at times when they were assigned work, they wouldn't stay employed for very long.

Re: No is a complete sentence

#8

From an organizational perspective, this is horrible advice: > Let me tell you clearly. “No” is a complete sentence. It requires no explanation or defense. The "It requires no explanation or defense" part is just plain wrong . If someone asks you to do something in an organization, it's fine to say "No", but an explanation is nearly always expected. And this explanation is critical, because often time the answer is s…

It really depends on where the request is coming from. If it's from your manager or another department that depends on you, then sure, an explanation is probably a good idea.

Anyone else, well, no. If their issue is important enough, they can escalate it to your manager.

Re: No is a complete sentence

#9

Returning a very terse answer to a person who has taken the time to make complex, well reasoned argument/request is rude though. And we all know that. With speech, the trick is to anticipate someone is building up to a "big ask", and cut it short, politely. Otherwise you're letting the other humiliate themself for a long time when you know your answer is going to have to be 'no'. Brevity is occasionally good. A quick…

I understand and agree from an all things being equal perspective. But thing are not all equal. I have worked with folks who could talk circles around a flock of Toastmaster clubs and weaponizing words in meetings relaying on social norms of "civil" as cover happens. The expected 10x effort to counter a falsehood can be inflated to 100x if it is dressed up real pretty.

A Volumocracy, where the more verbose or apparently civil sounding party (not your stereotypical programmer) wins every argument might be a viable strategy when it is rhetoric, opinions, semi-solid-science (quagmire?) but there is absolutely a place for; "No."

And though I agree more should be stated, I do strive to remain civil.

Re: No is a complete sentence

#10

From an organizational perspective, this is horrible advice: > Let me tell you clearly. “No” is a complete sentence. It requires no explanation or defense. The "It requires no explanation or defense" part is just plain wrong . If someone asks you to do something in an organization, it's fine to say "No", but an explanation is nearly always expected. And this explanation is critical, because often time the answer is s…

Great advice from Herman Melville’s “Bartleby, the Scrivener”: simply saying “I would prefer not to…” has worked so many times for me.
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