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Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

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Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

#161

Post by AussieWog93 »

asdfasgasdgasdg wrote: post #2

Great if it works for you, but for those who are dealing with babies, I wouldn't beat myself up if this advice doesn't apply. The parenting advice world is chock full of people who found something that worked for them and who then made the unwarranted conclusion that it is universal truth. For example, their techniques that "always work" definitely do not always work. Maybe they always worked for their particular bab…

>IMO this is a great time of one's life to discard the illusion of control.

Became a first-time parent back in 2020, and couldn't agree more. The trend of slowly increasing personal freedom/control suddenly stops, and your freedom is reverted back to near-zero. As in, you will become completely dependent on your spouse and cannot even piss or shit alone when bubs is awake.

The best thing to do is just acknowledge that this is life now (and more than that, the type of life that human beings have evolved to live in), and the past few years of unrestrained personal freedom were a dream that you needed to wake up from.

Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

#164

Post by seniorivn »

gameshot911 wrote: post #103

Of kids I've always thought "maybe one day". I can see how it'd be a tough, but extremely rewarding and meaningful endeavor. But reading this article made me think for the first time "actually, I think I don't want kids." So many "mental CPU cycles" spent learning about pregnancy, babies, why they cry, how to care for them. It just doesn't appeal to me at all - I think it'd resent it taking me away from spending time…

Don't forget that children are a natural investment, you raise a big family and it will take care of you in the long run

Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

#165

Post by sergers »

dtech wrote: post #142
progre wrote: post #116

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This. My wife went half crazy from sleep deprivation when our baby was about 1 month. One time both she and our daughter fell asleep after late night feeding. I went to make a sandwich, and when I came back my wife was crying in bed trying to wake the sleeping baby because she thoght she had been sleeping for 5 hours but in reality it was more like 20 minutes. She was desperate because the baby wouldn't wake up and e…

I don't think you need formula, around here they recommend expressing and storing so both partners can feed breast milk.

My wife tried breastfeeding, it was too much for her and wasn't really working how much she tried.

We had all the pumps, techniques, just wasn't worth the stress.

The important thing is your child is being fed.

There have been multiple cases where infants have starved to death after being born because the mothers were convinced only to give breast milk, and couldn't produce enough.

We switched from 50% formula/breast milk to strictly formula.

If u aren't giving breast, there's additional vitamins you need to give aswell

Do what works best... In many cases it's not breast milk for everyone's health and sanity.

When we switched to ready made Enfamil, that was such a lifesaver for me and my wife

Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

#166

Post by jb1991 »

I encourage everyone to disregard this article completely. A parent gets to know their baby’s cries naturally and instinctively. There’s no need to use cheats from some other parent’s experiences that really have a little value to the distinctiveness of your own child.

Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

#167

Post by jb1991 »

gameshot911 wrote: post #103

Of kids I've always thought "maybe one day". I can see how it'd be a tough, but extremely rewarding and meaningful endeavor. But reading this article made me think for the first time "actually, I think I don't want kids." So many "mental CPU cycles" spent learning about pregnancy, babies, why they cry, how to care for them. It just doesn't appeal to me at all - I think it'd resent it taking me away from spending time…

You may think of it as a cognitive CPU cycle now, but when you’re actually a parent that’s not the experience at all. A lot of it just falls back on instinct right away, you use skills you didn’t even know you had, and before being put into that experience it probably seems like a steep learning curve, but the actual experience of living through it is different.

Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

#168

Post by Graffur »

sanj wrote: post #50

Two bits I’d add: 1. I printed and laminated a card listing the reasons the Baby could be crying. And tied it to the side of the crib. When you’re sleep deprived it can help to have this list available to you. 2. #7 on my list was “sometimes babies just need to cry.” My family swore that the witching hour was consistent with the sun rising or setting. And that the fix was to be outside with the baby.

Now that is good advice!

Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

#169

Post by fergal_reid »

This may sound controversial, initially:

Consider getting a good pair of sound isolating earphones, or even ear defenders!

Not to neglect your child; but to reduce stress levels so you can problem solve effectively.

The cry of your baby is one of the most emotionally powerful sounds there is. You'll experience extreme stress if you can't calm them down quickly. Probably for good evolutionary reasons, so the parent doesn't ignore their child.

But sometimes there's a problem you just can't instantly solve.

If you find yourself getting really stressed, and losing your ability to act effectively, being able to put something on your ears and reduce the volume while you, e.g. change the nappy/diaper, can reduce stress and help you be a better parent.

I only had to do this a handful of times for each of our kids, but when it was helpful, it was really helpful.

Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

#170

Post by philliphaydon »

gambiting wrote: post #154
Jaxan wrote: post #139

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> 3 weeks walking up in the middle of the night screaming for no reason Only 3 weeks is not so bad. I woke up every three hours for the first 14 months. And then he just started sleeping well. It’s very random.

Our 10 month old son is still waking up every 1-2 hours at night screaming at the top of his lungs, for absolutely no reason at all. Not hungry, no wet nappy, sometimes hugging and talking/singing helps, sometimes it doesn't. Me and my wife are just 100% exhausted and I can't wait for this to end - but at 6 month mark everyone was telling us "oh this will only last another few weeks, don't worry" - it's 4 months late…

Unsure if it's night terrors. We went through it twice. Both times lasted 3-4 weeks.

Daughter would go to bed, fall asleep, all happy, full belly etc. At around 2am, wake up screaming at the top of her lungs. I would pick her up and hold her and pace back and forth for about 2 hours while she sobbed. If my wife tried to touch her the crying would go back up full blast.

After the 4th night on the first time I just threw her over my sholder and hummed to her until she fell asleep, then wife got her blanket and pillow and put it in our bed between us and i would slowly move to the bed, gently put her down trying not to wake her (she woke easy a few times doing this) and then that was usually it for the rest of the night.

1st time was at about 20 months, second time at about 28 months. Bar none the WORST experience we've had so far.

In terms of sleeping through the night, she took ~18 months before not waking for milk in the middle of the night. In the early days I had her crib next to my bed and if she began to stir I would instantly wake, make a bottle. (we did formula for the whole thing, kept a flask of warm water and pre-measured milk powder next to the bed). Change her nappy, feed her, and put her back to sleep. I would be awake for 10 minutes and back to sleep.

I consider myself very lucky in this regard because I've heard horror stories.

Edit: Oh, the other thing with the night terrors, one thing the internet told us to do was get a night light. And don't turn the room light on when they wake. Makes getting back to sleep much harder.

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