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Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

probablydance.com

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Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

#41

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Negative. There is very little good scientific evidence that it is important to breastfeed. But even if we stipulate that mothers must breastfeed, many working women pump milk during the day if they don't have unlimited paid time off after birth. In such cases bottles must obviously be used. And many women cannot produce enough breastmilk, and must supplement with formula. And many other possible reasons why bottles…

Quoted post unavailable.

It can be both simultaneously true that breast milk is better than formula, but that formula is also fine. This is obviously traumatic to hear if you are a woman who cannot breastfeed, but that doesn't make it less true.

Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

#43
I had twin daughters in 2019 and was given 3 months of paternity leave, and I don’t know how we would have survived without it. I did a 12 hour shift at night, and fed them and changed their diaper on a schedule (every 2 hours iirc)

This reduced a lot of the whining because they were always clean. I also had a swing to put them in when they were upset, and that handled most of those issues. Overall it was tedious but not very stressful because I could do it full time.

Anyway establishing a consistent routine really helped me. I wouldn’t wait until they’re starting to get fussy over something if it can be avoided.

Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

#44

To soothe the baby the author forgot: 1) pacifier. Holy hell those things are life savers. As my kid got older he would sometimes lose the pacifier in his sleep and start crying. We just bought 10 of them and sprinkled them theoughout his crib at night 2) driving. Driving your kid around will often soothe them. I had a particular route I would take down the highway that would guarantee put him to sleep.

> driving. Driving your kid around will often soothe them. Same here. Doing a walk with the stroller and I'd be looking at 45 minutes before the kid would fall asleep. Taking the car and driving once around the block and my kid was sleeping. I don't know if it's the movement, the fact that it's faster than walking, the vibrations, the engine noise (I wonder if parents with electric cars use that trick too) or somethi…

Same for my 2.5 year old. She still won't nap at home. FYI we have a Tesla and it works just as well as our gas SUV.

Trouble I'm having now is she wakes up the second I pull into the driveway. Somehow she knows we're home even if she's fast asleep. I back into a parking spot? Doesn't wake up. I back into our driveway? Wakes up if she's been asleep for 10 minutes or 50 minutes.

Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

#45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Quoted post unavailable.

It can be both simultaneously true that breast milk is better than formula, but that formula is also fine. This is obviously traumatic to hear if you are a woman who cannot breastfeed, but that doesn't make it less true.

My point is that folks should consider their tone and words carefully on this topic.

There are a great many women out there who would like to be breastfeeding, but can't, for various reasons. And the amount of guilt and shame experienced by many in this group, because of the glib culture surrounding breastfeeding, is doing severe and lasting damage to many parents' mental health.

While not optimal, formula is a healthy and viable alternative. That's really all that needs to be said about this.

Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

#46
post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

https://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/about-breastfeeding/why-it... There's quite a lot of evidence that breastfeeding improves health outcomes for newborns. Reduces the rate of gastrointestinal infections, etc. Regarding the probable mechanism of action for that, breast milk provides an ongoing source of antibodies from the mother to baby. You won't find that in formula. That said, evidence about the benefits of exclusi…

Kinda weird place and context to ask, but... OK look I'm not an academic. I have my degrees but for the most part it was "use APA/MLA/etc. for full points". Nothing published, plenty researched enough to publish if the circumstances were better. That said, I don't know enough about how much weight is given to biological history. Breastfeeding was not an option for the vast majority of mammalian history, as far as I u…

Can't edit to clarify but I meant to say that breastfeeding was not an option in the sense that there were no other choices. In case anyone cares.

Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

#47
post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Negative. There is very little good scientific evidence that it is important to breastfeed. But even if we stipulate that mothers must breastfeed, many working women pump milk during the day if they don't have unlimited paid time off after birth. In such cases bottles must obviously be used. And many women cannot produce enough breastmilk, and must supplement with formula. And many other possible reasons why bottles…

Historically women that cannot produce enough breastmilk would ask other women to do the breastfeeding.

Not entirely true: goats milk was the nearest substitute in recent history. My wife's great grandfather was fed with goats milk from an infant age.

Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

#48
post #18

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Negative. There is very little good scientific evidence that it is important to breastfeed. But even if we stipulate that mothers must breastfeed, many working women pump milk during the day if they don't have unlimited paid time off after birth. In such cases bottles must obviously be used. And many women cannot produce enough breastmilk, and must supplement with formula. And many other possible reasons why bottles…

> There is very little good scientific evidence that it is important to breastfeed. I wish you would back up such a strong statement. In medical school we were taught the complete opposite. From my notes: - there's a x36 decreased risk of Sudden infant death syndrome if the child has been breast fed a single(!) time compared to no breast feeding. - no breast feeding vs only breast feeding: x15 risk of pneumonia, x11…

John Hopkins has a bunch on this: https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseas...

I think the general consensus (WHO, CDC, American Pediatrics, etc) is that breastmilk is beneficial and reduces the risk of things like asthma, digestive issues, SIDS, etc, but there are a lot of questions of whether it needs to be exclusive and for how long it needs to be to get the benefits.

Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

#49
post #18

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Negative. There is very little good scientific evidence that it is important to breastfeed. But even if we stipulate that mothers must breastfeed, many working women pump milk during the day if they don't have unlimited paid time off after birth. In such cases bottles must obviously be used. And many women cannot produce enough breastmilk, and must supplement with formula. And many other possible reasons why bottles…

> There is very little good scientific evidence that it is important to breastfeed. I wish you would back up such a strong statement. In medical school we were taught the complete opposite. From my notes: - there's a x36 decreased risk of Sudden infant death syndrome if the child has been breast fed a single(!) time compared to no breast feeding. - no breast feeding vs only breast feeding: x15 risk of pneumonia, x11…

Correlation doesn’t imply causation. Can you speak to the causal link that would make any of these statements compelling?

Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

#50
Two bits I’d add:

1. I printed and laminated a card listing the reasons the Baby could be crying. And tied it to the side of the crib. When you’re sleep deprived it can help to have this list available to you.

2. #7 on my list was “sometimes babies just need to cry.”

My family swore that the witching hour was consistent with the sun rising or setting. And that the fix was to be outside with the baby.

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