Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

probablydance.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

141–150 of 262 posts

Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

#141

Post by MrsPeaches »

basisword wrote: post #111
gameshot911 wrote: post #103

Of kids I've always thought "maybe one day". I can see how it'd be a tough, but extremely rewarding and meaningful endeavor. But reading this article made me think for the first time "actually, I think I don't want kids." So many "mental CPU cycles" spent learning about pregnancy, babies, why they cry, how to care for them. It just doesn't appeal to me at all - I think it'd resent it taking me away from spending time…

Your opinion may shift naturally. I’ve started noticing as I get older that, despite my career, social life, finances etc being better than some close friends with kids - they are much happier. Even the people who’ve struggled financially because of it. The joy of a child, the constant challenge of raising it, and the constant change as it grows, seem to provide much more happiness than I can get from doing the “new…

> The joy of a child

This is such a cliche that it almost meaningless but the JOY of a child is just insane. To have some around who is almost always happy to see you (and super pissed when you go away), initially at least, is just wonderful to be around.

To me at least parenting is one of the most complete human experiences. It's joyous and terrifying, exciting and mundane, just all of the things at once.

It's not for everyone sure but one thing I would say is that it's much easier to describe how hard it is, than it is to describe how amazing it is.

Everyone understand that having to wipe someone else's ass for years isn't fun (tho it's not actually that bad) but it's difficult to put into words just how much joy there is.

Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

#142

Post by dtech »

progre wrote: post #116
spdegabrielle wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’d like to add: it is ok to ask for help.

This. My wife went half crazy from sleep deprivation when our baby was about 1 month. One time both she and our daughter fell asleep after late night feeding. I went to make a sandwich, and when I came back my wife was crying in bed trying to wake the sleeping baby because she thoght she had been sleeping for 5 hours but in reality it was more like 20 minutes. She was desperate because the baby wouldn't wake up and e…

I don't think you need formula, around here they recommend expressing and storing so both partners can feed breast milk.

Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

#143

Post by progre »

arbol wrote: post #131
progre wrote: post #116

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This. My wife went half crazy from sleep deprivation when our baby was about 1 month. One time both she and our daughter fell asleep after late night feeding. I went to make a sandwich, and when I came back my wife was crying in bed trying to wake the sleeping baby because she thoght she had been sleeping for 5 hours but in reality it was more like 20 minutes. She was desperate because the baby wouldn't wake up and e…

Grandparent help would have been far more common in the past due to shared living arrangements. Makes you think it might be harder today when coupled with both parents working.

I agree, but this also in opposition to the prevailing (maybe cultural) drive for everyone to live their own life. Most people I know wouldn't want to live with their parents or their inlaws. Most parents don't want their grown up kids around.

So we build kindergardens and other social services to help with that. And underfunded schools somehow gets stuck with actually making functioning adults out of kids. In Sweden, where I live, stay-at-home parents don't get a full share of the pension funds so the system discurages staying at home with kids. So much for the vote-yourself-rich democrazy.

It's a mess. It should be noted though: The small family unit came first, with industrialization. The social network is there to support the industry, not the family.

Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

#144

Post by Quiark »

gameshot911 wrote: post #103

Of kids I've always thought "maybe one day". I can see how it'd be a tough, but extremely rewarding and meaningful endeavor. But reading this article made me think for the first time "actually, I think I don't want kids." So many "mental CPU cycles" spent learning about pregnancy, babies, why they cry, how to care for them. It just doesn't appeal to me at all - I think it'd resent it taking me away from spending time…

> I think it'd resent it taking me away from spending time on the topics that legitimately interest me

oh, this one is kinda easy to prepare for: just forget about having time for this at all in the first couple of months. First 3 months you're not doing anything but caring for the baby, deal with that. Well, ok, you may have time to watch youtube or other videos while feeding or so.

Around 1 year old, the kid can become real fun though.

Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

#145

Post by progre »

dtech wrote: post #142
progre wrote: post #116

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This. My wife went half crazy from sleep deprivation when our baby was about 1 month. One time both she and our daughter fell asleep after late night feeding. I went to make a sandwich, and when I came back my wife was crying in bed trying to wake the sleeping baby because she thoght she had been sleeping for 5 hours but in reality it was more like 20 minutes. She was desperate because the baby wouldn't wake up and e…

I don't think you need formula, around here they recommend expressing and storing so both partners can feed breast milk.

Sure that can work. In our case the breastfeeding hormones was definetly a contributing factor to the crazy so that wasn't an option.

Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

#146

Post by MandieD »

donw wrote: post #11
asdfasgasdgasdg wrote: post #4

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Negative. There is very little good scientific evidence that it is important to breastfeed. But even if we stipulate that mothers must breastfeed, many working women pump milk during the day if they don't have unlimited paid time off after birth. In such cases bottles must obviously be used. And many women cannot produce enough breastmilk, and must supplement with formula. And many other possible reasons why bottles…

> There is very little good scientific evidence that it is important to breastfeed. American scientists in the 1950s pushed all manner of highly-processed food products on the public because they had "figured out" nutrition. Except for micronutrients, probiotics, most of what we understand now about biological pathways, etc. Barring overwhelming evidence from replicated experiments -- "peer review" is and has always…

Quality infant formula is also cheap in Germany compared to the US. I thought it was just having a decade of being a dual engineer couple before baby that made me wonder why on earth there are formula theft rings in the US, but no, a box of the brand-name stuff (Hipp) capable of feeding a baby for 5-7 days is about 12 EUR not on sale.

Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

#147

Post by MandieD »

farmerstan wrote: post #17

To soothe the baby the author forgot: 1) pacifier. Holy hell those things are life savers. As my kid got older he would sometimes lose the pacifier in his sleep and start crying. We just bought 10 of them and sprinkled them theoughout his crib at night 2) driving. Driving your kid around will often soothe them. I had a particular route I would take down the highway that would guarantee put him to sleep.

The only pacifiers my baby liked were the Tommee Tippie Featherlights.

Unfortunately this is also the only pacifier he could CRAM COMPLETELY INTO HIS MOUTH by ten months.

Fortunately he took confiscation pretty well, and didn’t revert to wanting one when he started daycare and saw all the other little kids running around with them

Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

#148

Post by darkerside »

dtech wrote: post #142
progre wrote: post #116

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This. My wife went half crazy from sleep deprivation when our baby was about 1 month. One time both she and our daughter fell asleep after late night feeding. I went to make a sandwich, and when I came back my wife was crying in bed trying to wake the sleeping baby because she thoght she had been sleeping for 5 hours but in reality it was more like 20 minutes. She was desperate because the baby wouldn't wake up and e…

I don't think you need formula, around here they recommend expressing and storing so both partners can feed breast milk.

It's really hard for some moms. Do you feel like ejaculating 15 times per day for a year?

Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do

#150

Post by darkerside »

jl2718 wrote: post #55

I found this to be quite accurate based on my experience, and I have written things very close to this to my personal contacts that are entering this phase. The most important thing to internalize, is that the baby is crying for a reason, and your life will go a lot better if you figure out how to solve their problem immediately, rather than ignore or get upset about it yourself. I can’t tell you how many people have…

Having had multiple kids, I can tell you some babies cry for a reason, and some may have a reason but you can never figure it out.
Post reply on HN