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Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

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Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#191

Post by spywaregorilla »

noduerme wrote: post #4

Lack of eye contact. That's what I see among both sexes under the age of 30. Almost to the level of autism. An inability to have basic conversation. And the boys are totally ineffectual and terrified of trying to kiss a girl; it's been made faux pas to show any inclination. It's hard enough as a teenager to get up the courage to kiss a girl. Imagine if you think there's a 50/50 chance she'll completely destroy your l…

> Lack of eye contact. That's what I see among both sexes under the age of 30.

Not a significant thing

> An inability to have basic conversation.

Not a significant thing

> And the boys are totally ineffectual and terrified of trying to kiss a girl; it's been made faux pas to show any inclination. It's hard enough as a teenager to get up the courage to kiss a girl.

I mean you shouldn't kiss a girl without consent, but I assure you, plenty of teenagers are kissing

> Imagine if you think there's a 50/50 chance she'll completely destroy your life on social media, rather than just say "no thanks".

It's really not a thing. This one is just stupid. This time of thinking is OCD level anxiety of about unrealistic outcomes.

> In my mid-30s I ran through a spate of recent divorcees who all had almost exactly the same complaint. Their husband of 10 years hadn't slept with them in 5+ years, and was always in the basement playing video games or watching porn. Which he didn't want to watch with her. Two of them - totally separately - told me they would dress up in lingere and go to the basement and the husband would say he was too tired. A third said she felt "unfuckable" and started crying recounting it. (I said, oh no! You're totally fuckable! I also said, I would never play a video game rather than lay in bed with you. And it was like... holy shit) This is literally what's going on.

As a late 20's, moderately sexed, east coaster, the quote here is weird, dude. Both the content and the fact that it's being shared at all. People being depressed and having low sex drives and maybe just not liking their wives is bad and definitely a thing. Guys who can't comprehend not prioritizing sex as the top item at all times is also weird. I don't have interest in fucking more than maybe 3 times per week on a good week. Other than that and I would almost certainly prefer playing a game with my wife.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#192

Post by newby »

halo37253 wrote: post #141
rglullis wrote: post #138

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Don't complain about me using my little amount of free time to blow off steam when I'm brining home 3x your wage. And this, my friends, is what you get for giving way to a culture of hyper-individualization and materialism.

When it comes to your kids, everyone should want to set them up for life. My goal even from a young age before kids was to build generational wealth. We live in a world where money makes a big difference in lifestyle. Living Paycheck to Paycheck is a shitty way to live life. I did plenty of that early in life, and grew up in a house hold that lived paycheck to paycheck. I don't want that for my kids.

> When it comes to your kids, everyone should want to set them up for life.

Sure, but there are things that kids need a lot more than money. Like a parent who is present and enjoys life, not always working and always exhausted. Also, kids are profoundly affected by the level of warmth or intimacy between their parents. If you feel too tired to enjoy sex with your wife, it is probably leaking into other areas as well.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#193

Post by spywaregorilla »

Throwaway8373 wrote: post #183
hef19898 wrote: post #125

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Treat them with respect, eye contact, don't make about sex and generally don't be a dick. Usually works in all social circumstances.

It is easy only to talk in abstract terms. Don't be a dick -- what does it mean? Nobody knows, unless they do. Some well intended people ended up in very bad sitatuations while always thinking they were not dicks.

Be kind, listen, and demonstrate that you're listening.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#194

Post by embeng4096 »

rthomas6 wrote: post #188
embeng4096 wrote: post #127

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This WaPo article and specifically the chart entitled "Young men driving the decline in sex": https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2019/03/29/share-ame... I read the chart as indicating a jump from ~15% to 28% of men 18-30 not having sex, and women from ~13% to 18%. So perhaps the simultaneous rise could be due to factors like less promiscuity overall or more selectivity, but I find that GP's reasoning is plausibl…

So, to me, this implies women being more selective of partners than in the past accounts for some of the overall decrease, but not all.

Can you elaborate? This particular comment of yours reads to me as agreeing -- as in agreeing that selectivity accounts for some of the decrease in sex, but not all, which I think is what I stated.

Your other comment in this overall thread gives me the impression that you actually disagree though, so I think I'm missing something and would appreciate more explanation.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#195

Post by cjbgkagh »

k__ wrote: post #189
cjbgkagh wrote: post #180

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Young men were already low social status, and now they’re even lower. Often judged on immutable characteristics like hight. In my opinion none of what you are proposing will happen. There will be a substantial uncontrolled reaction. In my opinion men and women need each other and if men withdraw and stop trying women will also suffer.

I had the impression it was the other way around. Women judged on appearence and men judged on financial success.

When young no-one has had time to be a financial success, some lucky few are born into wealth but that’s a small minority. Generally if men could change something they would have, so in order to continue discrimination it has to be done in immutable characteristics, height, hair, jawline. Women’s appearance is usually down to weight which compared to height is easy to change, yet they’re getting heavier not lighter.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#196

Post by [deleted] »

malfist wrote: post #171
halo37253 wrote: post #139

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yet lets ignore the proven statistics showing woman avg higher number of sexual partners in their life than men.

And that somehow makes women sluts? Who cares how many sexual partners they have? That's their business, not yours.

[deleted]

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#197

Post by spywaregorilla »

paulnpace wrote: post #174
rkk3 wrote: post #165

The societal/behavioral changes are interesting, but what about the physiological changes? Significant declines in sperm counts Increased medicating; ADHD, Anxiety, Depression, Hormonal Birth Control Childhood Obesity over 20% in the US

Of these, the sperm count strikes me as more causal, while the others may be results of some problem. Granted, the decline in sperm count is caused by something, but in relation to impact on behaviors, the decline will cause (as proxy) changes, and of those changes could be the increased medication, for example.

Sperm count dropping is caused by obesity

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#198

Post by spywaregorilla »

Auracle wrote: post #170
spywaregorilla wrote: post #135

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> My wife? It turns her in to a raging, emotional, monster. Mine too. It was fairly difficult to convince her that it was not a "real" emotion and had an external cause. Its given me a very negative few of hormonal birth control. The copper IUD has some downsides but seems to be the ideal option.

Hormones are tough. The emotions themselves are real, and you'll always feel like you have a good reason for them. I personally have experience with them as a man due to a brain injury as a teen that left me with low testosterone. I've experienced low and high testosterone, along with low and high estradiol (estrogen). By the way, chocolate cravings due to high estrogen - or some knock-on hormonal effect - are absolu…

> you'll always feel like you have a good reason for them

This is the shitty part about realizing how things change your mood

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#200

Post by halo37253 »

PaulHoule wrote: post #175
halo37253 wrote: post #172

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sex is a process, its the foreplay and the physical goodness. Yeah of course it is fun, and makes your body hurt the next day. But it is a process, and spending 30 minuets to do something I can rub out in a few minuets isn't always worth it. I am tired, and rest is not an option. Even when you go on vacation, you are not resting. You are working to allow your kids to have fun. You come home more tired than when you l…

If you're not having sex this attitude is part of the reason why.

Or maybe when you do have sex it isn't fulfilling enough to last days.

Every couple is different.

For us there is a lot involved. Toys, spankings, choking, dirty talk, lot of movement, etc.

We can do this once a week and the pleasure gained from it will last days.

Also Locations change things up too. Never like spicing this up during a xmas party by sneaking off and getting it on.

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