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Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

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Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#141

Earlier quoted context omitted.

[flagged]

> Don't complain about me using my little amount of free time to blow off steam when I'm brining home 3x your wage. And this, my friends, is what you get for giving way to a culture of hyper-individualization and materialism.

When it comes to your kids, everyone should want to set them up for life.

My goal even from a young age before kids was to build generational wealth.

We live in a world where money makes a big difference in lifestyle.

Living Paycheck to Paycheck is a shitty way to live life. I did plenty of that early in life, and grew up in a house hold that lived paycheck to paycheck. I don't want that for my kids.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#142
post #14

It's burying the lede to suggest that young people are having less sex. The salient fact is that it's young men who are skewing this average down. Women, on average, are doing perfectly fine in the sexual marketplace, along with the top 10-15% of men. edit: The above was my reflexive response to the headline. Now that I've actually read the article, I have to say that the article is very good and quite comprehensive,…

Wait, how is that even mathematically possible? Most people are heterosexual and there is roughly the same number of men and women. Are you saying that there is a small cohort of men that have sex with most of the women? I find it hard to believe — most people, men and women, are monogamous.

Metrics like this tend to binary outcomes like "had sex within the past n months" not total quantity of sex. They also get distorted because young men are in part losing out to older men. I think the differences are mostly overblown.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#143
post #14

It's burying the lede to suggest that young people are having less sex. The salient fact is that it's young men who are skewing this average down. Women, on average, are doing perfectly fine in the sexual marketplace, along with the top 10-15% of men. edit: The above was my reflexive response to the headline. Now that I've actually read the article, I have to say that the article is very good and quite comprehensive,…

Wait, how is that even mathematically possible? Most people are heterosexual and there is roughly the same number of men and women. Are you saying that there is a small cohort of men that have sex with most of the women? I find it hard to believe — most people, men and women, are monogamous.

One possible explanation is that, as you say, "most people" are monogamous -- the rest are a group of men who have more partners drawn from the same group of women (excluding the monogamous women), and a group of men who are not having partners at all.

See this article [0] discussing a study, and specifically this quote in it which I think reconciles both your point and the GP's:

> Most women and men reported at least weekly sex, and most people reported having one sexual partner in the prior year. In the most recent surveys, men age 18 to 44 were more likely to have had no partners in the past year (16 percent) compared to women (12 percent). Men also were more likely to have had three or more partners in the past year (15 percent) compared to women (7 percent).

[0]: https://news.iu.edu/stories/2020/06/iub/releases/15-sexual-i...

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#144

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> We make it work and have sex a few times every month That’s not very much at all. Some of us are daily+ kind of people (and yes we have hard jobs that make a lot of money, too). Hope your wife is satisfied with this arrangement.

How many kids do you have?

3

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#145

A large component is hormonal birth control. We chemically castrate young girls before the point of sexual maturity. It crushes their libido for the duration of use and may inhibit full development. My wife on hormonal birth control is the not the same person as she is off. Its sad the article didn't address this topic at all. When you get finasteride for hair loss the first thing they tell you about is sexual side e…

And let's not forget the impact this has on developing boys as well, since it ends up in our water supply.

As someone else mentioned, there are those who see this as a feature, not a bug. Scary to think about.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#146
post #4

Lack of eye contact. That's what I see among both sexes under the age of 30. Almost to the level of autism. An inability to have basic conversation. And the boys are totally ineffectual and terrified of trying to kiss a girl; it's been made faux pas to show any inclination. It's hard enough as a teenager to get up the courage to kiss a girl. Imagine if you think there's a 50/50 chance she'll completely destroy your l…

[flagged]

>This younger generation simply has to work more.

The data does not back that assertion up, at all.

>Honestly having sex more than 1-2 times in a single week is exhausting.

Well, that's a problem. Sex is supposed to be reinvigorating, not exhausting.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#147
post #9

From my perspective and direct experience, it’s widespread porn use, which has extremely detrimental effects on your dopamine system, which leads to something you might term ‘lack of charisma, confidence and vital energy’, which leads to less people having sex due to confidence/charisma issues and lack of any drive. By my experience and observation, porn is really bad for oneself, and it’s really addicting. I’m a mil…

> From my perspective and direct experience,

But not from a scientific perspective. ... But go on, go on...

> it’s widespread porn use, which has extremely detrimental effects on your dopamine system, which leads to something you might term ‘lack of charisma, confidence and vital energy’, which leads to less people having sex due to confidence/charisma issues and lack of any drive.

Your perspective is wrong and your individual direct experience means nothing and cannot be generalised to others. If you (and your pear group) decide porn is bad for you and you don't watch it anymore, that's your perfectly fine decision -- no one forces porn on you! But do not generalise, please.

Say: 'I was an addict and porn was bad for me.' Do not say: 'porn is highly addictive and bad.'

Porn is quite unlike alcohol. More like chocolate, maybe, but don't cite me on that.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#148
post #58

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What he said is true in rural America . In the religious areas, which is most of 'em. This is a divided country. You'd be shocked at how seriously people take religion and how it affects views on sex.

Having gone to private Christian schools when I was younger (in suburban America but not quite rural), I'm going to offer the anecdote that religious people are just as sexual as non-religious people. They just won't admit to it openly or on surveys.

The religious families are extremely small on average /s

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#149

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> We make it work and have sex a few times every month That’s not very much at all. Some of us are daily+ kind of people (and yes we have hard jobs that make a lot of money, too). Hope your wife is satisfied with this arrangement.

How many kids do you have?

I know someone - a relative of my wife - with 3 young kids that has sex (more or less) daily. She wasn’t bragging when she told me. To be fair, she has a smoking body. The other half, not so much.

My wife and I just have one 4 month old but we’re making an effort to have sex the days that we can. It’s not easy with a kid at this age! We maybe get one nap in the evening. After the baby goes to bed my wife usually needs to pump and get to sleep early enough so she gets enough before the baby wakes.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#150
post #9

From my perspective and direct experience, it’s widespread porn use, which has extremely detrimental effects on your dopamine system, which leads to something you might term ‘lack of charisma, confidence and vital energy’, which leads to less people having sex due to confidence/charisma issues and lack of any drive. By my experience and observation, porn is really bad for oneself, and it’s really addicting. I’m a mil…

I don't know if it causes people to have less sex. However, I do agree it could be a slippery slope to addiction. I stopped watching a week or two ago and I have urges daily. Can't say for sure this is real addiction but it definitely could lead there for many.
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