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Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

theatlantic.com

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Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#81

Post by stuckinhell »

I found this article a bit disturbing on several different points.

- romance being segregated from the routines of daily life

- the game-ification of dating apps

- the fact younger generations seem to be unable to read other peoples emotions

- the most 1/3 attractive women got 2/3 of all messages

- the most attractive men got 11 times as many messages as lowest

- the way men and women are emulating porn

- women becoming anti-men from poor repeated sexual experiences

It feels like we are heading into a dystopia. I don't see how this continues on without an extreme reactionary events. Perhaps we already seeing this with new political movements like the article mentions some right wing groups are antiporn.

I'm beginning to think the sexual revolution and social media revolution together are just too much for the majority of humans. We aren't gods, we are primates. Comparing yourself to thousands of people is going to crush you. Treating people as commodities for sex or relationships is going to burn you out.

This is all super concerning, and gives me a lot of new insights into why I'm seeing so many young women and men become "revolutionary" albeit in very different ways.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#82

Post by queuebert »

halo37253 wrote: post #31
noduerme wrote: post #4

Lack of eye contact. That's what I see among both sexes under the age of 30. Almost to the level of autism. An inability to have basic conversation. And the boys are totally ineffectual and terrified of trying to kiss a girl; it's been made faux pas to show any inclination. It's hard enough as a teenager to get up the courage to kiss a girl. Imagine if you think there's a 50/50 chance she'll completely destroy your l…

[flagged]

I'm 10 years older than you, and this doesn't resonate with me at all.

Having sex shouldn't be exhausting. It's fun and easy.

In fact, your whole post makes me tired just reading it. You sound exhausted. I hope you can find a way to get some rest.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#83

Post by the_lonely_road »

halo37253 wrote: post #31
noduerme wrote: post #4

Lack of eye contact. That's what I see among both sexes under the age of 30. Almost to the level of autism. An inability to have basic conversation. And the boys are totally ineffectual and terrified of trying to kiss a girl; it's been made faux pas to show any inclination. It's hard enough as a teenager to get up the courage to kiss a girl. Imagine if you think there's a 50/50 chance she'll completely destroy your l…

[flagged]

Cops are a low wage job that struggles to move up in life? Dude...sure there are guys that stay on the beat their whole 30 years but there is ample opportunity within any large city organization to specialize and move up into quite well paid (by any measure other than HN's tech salaries) professionals. Even the ones that don't still usually do ample overtime to increase their take home pay to levels unattainable by large swaths of white collar American workers.

Keep in mind there is no 'the police' in the US there are like 10K different jurisdictions all doing their own thing and a little 2K person town with one sheriff and two deputies will function much different from the NYC police department.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#84

Post by halo37253 »

beaconstudios wrote: post #32

Wow this thread is wild. My understanding is it's because nobody can afford their own place - either living with their parents or roommates.

This is very true with the Gen Zers, Especially the Early Gen Z. You folk that are in your mid 20's. Really People born after 1995 are not Millennial. Its hard to even justify people born in 94 a Millennial. You don't remember 911, and you didn't experience last last economic recession first hand in the work force. If your first out of HS job was after 2012, You are a Gen Zer.

They simply are struggling, very few have moved up in their career paths. And so far have been one of the most lazy generations.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#85

Post by 11101010001100 »

captainredbeard wrote: post #51
halo37253 wrote: post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

[flagged]

> We make it work and have sex a few times every month That’s not very much at all. Some of us are daily+ kind of people (and yes we have hard jobs that make a lot of money, too). Hope your wife is satisfied with this arrangement.

How many kids do you have?

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#86

Post by hiran88 »

Brybry wrote: post #79
hiran88 wrote: post #9

From my perspective and direct experience, it’s widespread porn use, which has extremely detrimental effects on your dopamine system, which leads to something you might term ‘lack of charisma, confidence and vital energy’, which leads to less people having sex due to confidence/charisma issues and lack of any drive. By my experience and observation, porn is really bad for oneself, and it’s really addicting. I’m a mil…

> widespread porn use, which has extremely detrimental effects on your dopamine system Is this not begging the question? A cursory glance through pubmed doesn't show evidence for this. If you were to say you did most other tasks four to five times a week you would call it a habit and not an addiction. Certainly compulsive sexual behavior, hypersexuality disorder, and sexual addiction have many hits in pubmed but the…

Take a look at my reply to jstx1

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#87

Post by ahallock »

pibechorro wrote: post #61
refurb wrote: post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is the most “i read it on the internet” explanation I’ve ever seen. After the sexual revolution of that happened 60 years ago and the acceptance of casual sex even on television 40 years ago , OP is going with the “the puritans of the 1600’s are to blame”. I LOL’ed. I highly recommend the OP Google his closest dive bar and drink until closing time then go and change those stats personally.

Well the data goes against your opinion. Kids aren't hanging out in bars and sleeping around like the good ol days. They are online much more. Also, the US is still super puritan, it is conservative outwardly and it makes up for it by being deviant privately, travel, most countries are much more open about sex. Be it public display of affection, legal sex work, sex education, down to just physical contact from kisses…

I think you're exaggerating/generalizing quite a bit. Although, I agree about the legal sex work. I'm also thankful there's no public nudity at the beaches here. The people you'd want to see naked won't be, and vice versa.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#88

Post by bmarquez »

javert wrote: post #58
refurb wrote: post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is the most “i read it on the internet” explanation I’ve ever seen. After the sexual revolution of that happened 60 years ago and the acceptance of casual sex even on television 40 years ago , OP is going with the “the puritans of the 1600’s are to blame”. I LOL’ed. I highly recommend the OP Google his closest dive bar and drink until closing time then go and change those stats personally.

What he said is true in rural America . In the religious areas, which is most of 'em. This is a divided country. You'd be shocked at how seriously people take religion and how it affects views on sex.

Having gone to private Christian schools when I was younger (in suburban America but not quite rural), I'm going to offer the anecdote that religious people are just as sexual as non-religious people.

They just won't admit to it openly or on surveys.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#89

Post by Jaruzel »

throw3838 wrote: post #62

To enjoy sex, or to even have a sex drive, you have to be fit. Maybe it is obesity.

To put a slight different additional spin on that:

To enjoy sex, or to even have a sex drive, you have to be not taking anti-depression medication. Maybe it's the rise in depressed people[1]?

----

[1] I am one of that number, and take meds, and suffer as stated.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#90

Post by Broken_Hippo »

jeffwask wrote: post #23
rand49an wrote: post #13

Because they all live with their parents still. Moving out is more expensive than it used to be and peoples expectations are different.

Exactly, they can't afford it. Mating rituals are expensive.

It isn't the rituals. Poor people have done them in the past. I'm over 40 and have done very few of those silly rituals, thankfully. I don't wear a wedding ring either. "Mating rituals" are quite possible to do cheaply. "Come over and play this game with me, and we can cook some food"

It is, literally, living with one's parents. If I had to live with my parents, not only would I never be able to have sex in my own house, but I'd still - as an adult - have to lie about going to someone's house to have sex. I couldn't do the above example. No matter how old I am, my mother treats me as a child, generally with horrible sayings like, "my house, my rules" and the amount of contribution doesn't matter. As you might have guessed, my mother is conservative. My dad was too, while he was alive.

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