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The data are clear: The boys are not all right

washingtonpost.com

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Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#981

Post by stuckinhell »

noetic_techy wrote: post #536

Sorry WP, too little too late. I don't think the "mainstream" has fully caught on yet, but all those disaffected men are getting nothing from these empty "we see there's a problem" articles and empty half-acknowledgements, because the entire political and academic system is now fully aligned against them. Lots of men these days are all turning to Red Pill content online whether you agree or not because its the only c…

Good god, after reading the comments here. I'm debating having my son home-schooled now too.

I was thinking private school, but its clear there is some kind horror show going on in the US right about indoctrination of political ideologies gone insane.

Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#982

Post by hipparchus »

rayiner wrote: post #682
nautilius wrote: post #580

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Note that 'cultural legacy' is completely different from 'organized religion'. Celebrating 'Christmas' as a family get-together is completely different from celebrating the arrival of the messiah and deriving your complete moral compass from that.

I think cultural legacy is more deeply intertwined with morals than people appreciate. It’s just hard to see it because you’re surrounded by it. It’s easier to notice when you compare between countries and across religious traditions. My dad was raised very religious (Muslim) in Bangladesh. His grandfather was an imam. He is non-religious and I grew up non-religious, but I joined a Christian church after I got marrie…

I can't help but feel like you've got a deep case of confirmation bias here.

> Consider, for example, the obsession in Christian countries with equality. They almost fall over themselves to welcome people from different ethnic backgrounds. [...]

This is true in anglophone countries, sure, but it's less the case in europe and in particular, say, eastern europe or the balkans: ignoring albania/kosovo/bosnia, you've got plenty of heavily christian countries there who are not so open to people of different ethnic groups (well, which deviate from ethnic groups common to the region). You'll be treated more or less well but still fundamentally considered an outsider, and may not be welcome depending on where you go. Consider otherwise the armenians who, while I'm heavily leaning on stereotypes, are still quite well known for being both 1. pretty deeply culturally christians, and 2. a pretty closed-off community that often intermarry (although I do know there's often intermarriages with greeks and georgians)

I would agree with your point, but I would warn you not to assume that everything true of americans and/or anglophone countries often follows closely in other christian countries.

Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#983

Post by xvector »

syndacks wrote: post #902
01100011 wrote: post #614

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> anyone I'm interested in that is interested in me. Perhaps this is your problem? I've seen this with folks at work. They're middle aged, successful, extremely bright and they want to find a mate. The problems as I see it: 1. They insist on living in "Man Jose" aka SiValley. There is a serious lack of demographic diversity here. 2. They want to find a bright, attractive woman with an amazing career, 10/10 body who i…

…but he makes $340k

Fairly average for mid-30s male in Man Jose

Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#984

Post by xvector »

krageon wrote: post #838
yes_really wrote: post #836

Earlier quoted context omitted.

His full sentence was: > tell Women painfully stupid stuff they want to hear about their quantum vibrations matching and other new age nonsense. Do you think "quantum vibrations matching" and "other new age nonsense" are not painfully stupid? Or do you just want to attack the parent comment?

The core conceit of their post is that women want to hear stupid things, and won't partner with them because they will not say them. This is essentially a misogynistic point of view and there is nothing wrong with pointing that out. Refocusing the argument on some peripheral part of what was said is not useful, because it doesn't address the core issue.

It absolutely is not misogynistic to point out that many women love to hear that sort of stuff, it's simple fact.

And no high-earning, rational male in a STEM career would ever want to be with a partner that values that sort of conversation.

Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#985

Post by bigthymer »

bradlys wrote: post #557
epx wrote: post #25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have a son, and am moderately optimistic this has peaked already. As the other commenter said, we see different families in very different mindsets. I have been personally affected by sexism type B: was expected to work, to be a provider someday, to pay my own way to university, if you want a car you buy it, etc. etc. My sister had the second family car at disposal and the tuition was paid for. There was this under…

> We are in 2022 and a nice, wealthy and rational guy won't commit to someone without a career and finances in order. This is more often false than true. I know many men who have or are marrying women who make 1/2 or less what they do. Nice, wealthy, and rational folks. They however need a woman. And there is a strong lack of women who are anywhere near where many men are in compensation and wealth. I am example of t…

> We got way more men than we do women in this world under age 35

I don't think this is true. I think population evens out at about age 18 then it's more women until death.

Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#986

Post by xvector »

pinot wrote: post #421
awaythrow483 wrote: post #359

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm 33, Ive got a fairly high IQ, make $340k in a STEM field and enough to retire tomorrow, I'm not unattractive, and put a huge amount of effort over many years into online dating. I've pretty much given up on dating. I have a total inability to find anyone I'm interested in that is interested in me. When I was younger and I wanted to go to bars and get drunk and be an idiot I had plenty of attractive sexual partner…

If you're so smart to observe what the problem your facing is, and have the money to retire tomorrow and be a yoga teacher and find a partner, go do it?

Changing yourself so fundamentally to find a woman is the dumbest thing.

Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#987

Post by xvector »

native_samples wrote: post #879
valdiorn wrote: post #600

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Literally everyone I know who is around my age (~34), if I ask them how they met their partner, the will say they met their partner online, myself included. "go out to bars" is advise that's about 20 years out of date, mate. However, being successful at online dating is non-intuitive and takes skill. Of course, if you're in your mid 30's and you want to bang college chicks half your age with daddy issues, maybe "goin…

I would tell you to take that with a pinch of salt. I've met people online and dated them. I've also met girls in other ways and dated them, now marrying one. Once or twice, well, we didn't quite want to tell other people how we met. So we didn't. We just said we met online. It's the perfect blow-off justification when you don't want to get into a perhaps complicated and messy story. People meet in all sorts of ways.…

Now I'm really curious - how did you actually meet in the cases where you didn't meet online, but hid it with that clause?

Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#988

Post by mobilejdral »

_bkr9 wrote: post #294
thrway99 wrote: post #61

My observation is that we are going to have a radical rebalancing of who reproduces and who doesn’t. Lot of men and women who are generally not too motivated to seek out a companion, lose weight, put in the work to make it happen just…won’t pass on genetics. Children are a lot of work and energy. I’m highly introverted and high earning. My wife was the aggressor in my case. She pretty much made it all happen. I think…

A note on fitness. Any pressure I've had to lose weight or whatnot has come from me . All female partners have said that they don't care about my weight, and some actually like some belly to rest on. That said, they have commented favourably on other physical features, and I'm not particularly overweight. I say all this just to try and fight the idea that crops up that if you're male and don't fit some jacked or "Cha…

> All female partners have said that they don't care about my weight, and some actually like some belly to rest on.

Contrary to popular belief by men, women are very visual. They say things to each other like 'How do I get the guys I am attracted to to notice me?' The problem we have is that when guys ask why we reject them we can't give any sort of honest answer because the men will start to debate our answers. Combine that with the fact that they are stronger and can physically assault us and many men don't get this important signal and are left with the impression that how they look doesn't matter to women.

Some men do eventually realize that their looks do matter when it plays out in the office.

If you want to look at it from an evolutionary perspective who should I choose for a mate: Someone I can see is strong, fit and in shape or someone who isn't? The lack of muscle definition hints of possible low T in the same way that overweight women hint that they are possibly already pregnant to men. Is that skin issue genetic or from lack of care? Who could better help and protect me and my offspring?

Sidenote: The fact that men don't take care of their skin is such a weird societal issue. Taking care of your skin at the basic level is an aesthetic choice like taking care of your teeth is. It shouldn't be gendered. Everyone should take care of their skin and wear sunscreen, it is your largest organ.

A man that is not overweight, has some muscle definition, showers and wears clothes that actually fit his body is instantly more attractive than the countless men that don't.

To add one final little bit to your original statement:

> All female partners have said that they don't care about my weight

We never want you to say that you care about our weight. We want you to care for who we are, not for what we looked like when you met us at 19. One day we will be 60. We also will not tell you what you have to do with your body. We have had a lifetime of men telling us what we should do with ours and know how negative that is. You can weight what you want and if you are our special someone we will not care, but we will be more attracted to you when you are not obese.

Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#989

Post by random314 »

rayiner wrote: post #934
ctrl_s wrote: post #789

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Consider, for example, the obsession in Christian countries with equality. They almost fall over themselves to welcome people from different ethnic backgrounds. I suspect this has something to do with Christianity’s origins as a Jewish religion adopted by the Gentiles My experiences are almost the complete opposite to yours, I suspect there are major differences between congregations that can't be applied to the na…

Without trying to detract from your experience, I would suggest that your experience as a Black person in Bangladesh, India, or China would have been a whole lot worse. Heck, even though most Muslims aren’t Arab, it’s pretty darn clear that the Arabs think that is south Asians are second class citizens in the Muslim world. And unlike white southerners they’re not passive aggressive about it.

Without trying to distract from your suggestions, I would like to state that I have never seen race segregated mosques anywhere in India, while these seem to be widespread in the United states.

Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#990

Post by FooBarBizBazz »

spoonjim wrote: post #602

The biggest threat to men, and by consequence social stability and peace, is the rapidly increasing fraction of them who do not have sex. This is going to be a major risk to world peace.

This is a big chunk of what ISIS was about.
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