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The data are clear: The boys are not all right

washingtonpost.com

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Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#831

Post by disgruntledphd2 »

pcmoney wrote: post #803
rrrrrrrrrrrryan wrote: post #785

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's a uniquely American thing. I studied abroad for a semester in England, and in one of the classes I took there the (Australian) professor asked us what socioeconomic class we thought we belonged to. It was a good university, but most of the British kids answered "working class." When he asked "Why?" they answered, "Because our parents work." That always stuck with me. In England, the aristocracy is alive and well…

They also haven’t invented or built anything meaningful in several hundred years…

Except for the WWW, of course.

Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#833

Post by beckman466 »

btilly wrote: post #701
rayiner wrote: post #682

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think cultural legacy is more deeply intertwined with morals than people appreciate. It’s just hard to see it because you’re surrounded by it. It’s easier to notice when you compare between countries and across religious traditions. My dad was raised very religious (Muslim) in Bangladesh. His grandfather was an imam. He is non-religious and I grew up non-religious, but I joined a Christian church after I got marrie…

Question. How would you suggest I square your claims about Arab society with the observed fact that every year thousands of girls die in Arab countries from honor killings. And the fact that, as https://www.statista.com/statistics/1019538/mena-arab-respon... shows, in many of these countries, significant minorities think that such killings are justified. Killing your own child suggests to me that kinship means rather…

No post body was provided.

Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#834

Post by Gareth321 »

ytwombly wrote: post #150

US-based cis-hetero white man here. The data reinforce the impression you get glancing at the headlines or spending a day out anywhere in America observing other men. Dare I say it even reinforces what I know from painful firsthand experience as a man, at the lowest points in my life. I was lucky though, with a supportive family who helped me through the confusing years of early adulthood. You can point to the declin…

>Whatever the cause I fully reject the lazy conclusion this is somehow women's fault.

What a jarring non-sequitur. The article doesn't mention anything about women being to blame, and I don't think anyone is raising this as the cause.

Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#835

Post by nicbou »

dusted wrote: post #818
sstoks wrote: post #817

This article feels tone deaf to me. Yes there's a real crisis going on that is impacting men. Let's make progress fixing it. But let's put more than one sentence towards the acknowledgement that the girls are not all right and have not been all right since the history of time. We need to fix things for both of them, not go on a disproportionate crusade to fix the world for boys. Perhaps we stop attributing as much as…

Wow, imagine if this kind of comment followed every article focused on the fact that girls aren't alright _either_ (without even mentioning that boys aren't already with as much as a single sentence).

To be fair, the inverse of this comment is under every article about women and their problems. There will always be this kind of commenter.

Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#836

Post by yes_really »

adriand wrote: post #430
awaythrow483 wrote: post #359

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm 33, Ive got a fairly high IQ, make $340k in a STEM field and enough to retire tomorrow, I'm not unattractive, and put a huge amount of effort over many years into online dating. I've pretty much given up on dating. I have a total inability to find anyone I'm interested in that is interested in me. When I was younger and I wanted to go to bars and get drunk and be an idiot I had plenty of attractive sexual partner…

> tell Women painfully stupid stuff they want to hear If you are looking for a reason for your travails, here it is. If you started out with this level of contempt, it’s no wonder you’ve been unsuccessful. If you became embittered due to your challenges, then I’m sorry. That is a hard path. But if you want it to change, I think you have some work to do. And I wish you luck with it.

His full sentence was:

> tell Women painfully stupid stuff they want to hear about their quantum vibrations matching and other new age nonsense.

Do you think "quantum vibrations matching" and "other new age nonsense" are not painfully stupid? Or do you just want to attack the parent comment?

Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#837

Post by nicbou »

ReactiveJelly wrote: post #408
Animats wrote: post #370

Some people say a man is made outta mud A poor man's made outta muscle and blood Muscle and blood and skin and bones A mind that's a-weak and a back that's strong "Sixteen Tons", Tennessee Ernie Ford There are few Real Men jobs like that any more.

How can civilization cope with the fact that those jobs might never come back? A cognitive surplus [1] can be dumped into projects like Wikipedia, but where does the physical surplus go? Supposing we are omnipotent deities who want to make people happy and free and avoid unrest. Encourage people to build henges and pyramids for the hell of it? We can't pay them to do that without a global welfare system... Russia wou…

Strap a GPS on their back and have the surplus go to OpenSteetMap. Or give them a bin bag and have them clean their environment. Or fix bicycles. Or volunteer.

I have a lot of time on my hands, and I always find ways to use it. However I suspect that most modern men don't enjoy such a privilege. They're just as busy as they ever were.

Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#838

Post by krageon »

yes_really wrote: post #836
adriand wrote: post #430

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> tell Women painfully stupid stuff they want to hear If you are looking for a reason for your travails, here it is. If you started out with this level of contempt, it’s no wonder you’ve been unsuccessful. If you became embittered due to your challenges, then I’m sorry. That is a hard path. But if you want it to change, I think you have some work to do. And I wish you luck with it.

His full sentence was: > tell Women painfully stupid stuff they want to hear about their quantum vibrations matching and other new age nonsense. Do you think "quantum vibrations matching" and "other new age nonsense" are not painfully stupid? Or do you just want to attack the parent comment?

The core conceit of their post is that women want to hear stupid things, and won't partner with them because they will not say them. This is essentially a misogynistic point of view and there is nothing wrong with pointing that out. Refocusing the argument on some peripheral part of what was said is not useful, because it doesn't address the core issue.

Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#839

Post by krageon »

nicbou wrote: post #828
LouisSayers wrote: post #447

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If online dating isn't working for you but bars did, then why not head back to the bars? (You can always drink soda water) I know it sounds a bit stupidly obvious, but do the stuff that works!

Do bars really work? I keep seeing this advice, but I never see it happening when I'm in bars. People usually show up and leave as a group, especially now with social distancing measures.

If you are attractive bars will work. Perhaps if you are attractive but not photogenic, bars will work but online dating will not :)

Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#840

Post by zppln »

noetic_techy wrote: post #536

Sorry WP, too little too late. I don't think the "mainstream" has fully caught on yet, but all those disaffected men are getting nothing from these empty "we see there's a problem" articles and empty half-acknowledgements, because the entire political and academic system is now fully aligned against them. Lots of men these days are all turning to Red Pill content online whether you agree or not because its the only c…

This. It kind of reminds me of this meme floating around: "And then one day, for not reason at all, people voted Hitler into power." Having young men who feel they have no future is rarely a good thing for a society...
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