Earlier quoted context omitted.
Can’t sweat from cycling? Find a hill
And if that doesn't work, try doing it with a single gear heavy steel bike.
Without brakes.
Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
711–720 of 890 posts
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
#712I was in similar spot with around 30. My advice: 1.) Start dating. It might be a drag and maybe embarrassing at times, but obviously not being a loser having saved up half a mil in 10 years, you will probably find someone. Don't buy into that Hollywood "soulmate" crap. More likely than not there is already someone you know or at max someone one graph edge away which will be a perfectly fine partner for the rest of yo…
what does one graph edge away mean?
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
#713Earlier quoted context omitted.
After few years of training and being lead by a personal trainer and a dietician I'd add one thing: It's crucial to have a high BMR - basal metabolic rate, when going into a deficit. Any deficit will cause body to lower the BMR and, if it's going into Body is very adaptable and will just shut down any energy hungry "facilities": lower body temperature ("I'm cold all the time", "I always have cold last two fingers"),…
Actually there is a big school of thought that low basal rate makes you live longer and a high one makes you live fast and die.
Any source?
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
#714Earlier quoted context omitted.
As someone who is at least reasonably productive and competent, who suffers from a medical condition that forces me to live in the reality you say is trivial, let me assure you that if you could switch places with me for one year, you wouldn’t write this. The inaccuracies are so overwhelming that it’s hard to correct it, and there’s also no point in having that conversation with someone who believes these things so s…
> suffers from a medical condition that forces me to live in the reality you say is trivial LOL You know nothing about me! A meeting before 11a has about 20% chances I will attend, tops. And even if, by chance, I happen to be there, I won't have much to contribute before my 2nd redbull. Yet, somehow, I've found a way to make it work, by focusing on my strengths and what I can bring to the table, and moving myself to…
Nah, your perspective doesn’t bother me. Minorities and disabled people are used to ignorance, so it’s no surprise you’re doubling down.
I do feel that the most productive course of action is to end this conversation, though. There are more enjoyable ways to spend one’s birthday.
Suffice to say, I have no identity. But if one day you were to go blind, and then listen to someone telling you with a straight face that it really doesn’t matter, you’ll feel what I felt in this thread.
“Think of me~~ Think of me fond-ly, when we say good-bye~~ Remember me, once in awhile~~ please promise me you’ll try~~” as the song goes.
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
#715Earlier quoted context omitted.
Actually there is a big school of thought that low basal rate makes you live longer and a high one makes you live fast and die.
Any source?
Read up on caloric restriction and longevity. This link came up but there are others. Not sure how solid this theory is, I am just mentioning it because OP was very sure it's the other way around.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4262579/#:~:tex...
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
#716You are now looking back at a significant part of your life and that is changing your perspective. Not only are you not going to be younger in the future, but you may not enjoy the agility that you had, good looks, and all other niceties of youth.
Our western civilizations do not value age that much these days, it's not a good fit for the always-on high-throughput life required to not go under.
Some get lucky, married, have children, which yet again gives you a different perspective on life (and you start to see how little things matter that you thought matter). This can be a significant impulse through your 30's and 40's.
A guy I know is forever single, about your age - a cultivated man, who enjoys a few recreational activities, but who also wastes a lot of time (something people with kids cannot afford any more).
Not sure what has been driving you, but with a nice chunk of savings try to cut back on stuff you do not really value for a few years and try to refocus on a thing that captures your spirits, whatever that may be.
You probably need to let life capture you again, in its weird ways and I see some people just not crazy enough to allow themselves to.
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
#717Earlier quoted context omitted.
> If you reach a certain age and are still childless just know that nearly everyone will feel sorry for you I legitimately do not care if people "feel sorry for me". I have good reasons for choosing not to have kids, and I hate the attitude that I'm somehow selfish or missing out on the "true meaning of life". Life is ultimately meaningless with or without kids. That allows you to make your own meaning, and kids are…
Its in the code. If many people thought like you our species would be extinct. The people that have this software version is the majority and any argument you make will not alter the code. Their code includes convincing others to make kids.
The way I think isn't "people shouldn't don't have kids", it's "don't force yourself to have kids if you don't want them, and don't expect kids to be the path to solving your own problems -- they may, in fact, just magnify every problem you have". I'm fairly certain that even everyone agreeing with that wouldn't lead to the extinction of the species, but it may lead to less children being raised in dire or abusive circumstances, and less parents miserable with their own existence.
I agree that this way of thinking probably runs contrary to the evolutionary code of the species. But we live in a world where that code is outdated, and education should allow us to teach people that marriage and child-rearing, while the right path for many people, is not the only route to self fulfillment and happiness. And those that choose alternate paths should not be treated as, or feel like, outcasts.
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
#718Earlier quoted context omitted.
This is excellent advice, I couldn't agree more with Health. Everything else will pretty much fall into place once you take care of it. It will be easier to meet people, you will not have mood swings, or lack confidence. Your mind will be sharper and can think better! One thing that gets missed often is spiritual health. I believe it's as equally important as physical and mental health. I'm not advocating for extremi…
Agreed on the spirituality. I have felt similarly unhappy as the original poster & some others on the thread. Stuck in corporate unfulfilling tech job. 2 years ago, I was able to break free (happy to share if folks are curious to hear). This advice has worked for me, it could work for you: (1) Health: actively prioritize good sleep, learn to cook some mediterranean dishes (easy, tasty, exotic, healthy, good as leftov…
I’m curious in the “breaking free from unfulfilling corporate tech job” part
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
#719Wow, the ageism is strong in this one. Get over it, really. You’ll need to because you are just starting on this journey.
It’s not your age. It’s you. Taking responsibility and not letting age be an excuse is the first step.
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
#720You don't deal with it.
Here is the thing: the key to happiness is having 0 expectations. When you have 0 expectations everything that comes your way is a bonus.
To put things in perspective: it's really easy to look at other people and thing: gee, by 35 they did X, Y and Z. Doing this means that you reduce those other people to X, Y and Z. You are not X, Y or Z. You are a human being that can grow on multiple dimensions and that more likely than not had unique initial conditions and unique environmental conditions compared to anyone else.
As long as: 1) you're healthy 2) you're enjoying what you are doing 3) you feel like you're growing along one or more dimension I would not fret it.
Time is not running out. Actually, your best years are ahead of you. You maybe no longer have the optimism you had when younger, but the realism you have now means you can actually get shit done and you can attack problems that you ideally can solve. That's enough.
The key of happiness is having 0 expectations and being happy with what you have.