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The impact of sexual abuse on female development: a longitudinal study

ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

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Re: The impact of sexual abuse on female development: a longitudinal study

#371

Post by PaulHoule »

Smithalicious wrote: post #316
PaulHoule wrote: post #74

There are many men who suffer through sexless marriages for 20, 30 years or more because their partner was victimized as a child. (I'd assume that some women also have similar problems because their man was abused.) Such a man can work really hard to please and love a woman and try to create feelings of safety. They might blame themselves, thinking that it's because of that argument they had this morning, or yesterda…

>and I'm sure than many of the men who become victims of it (paying $1000 for a jar of farts, spending $80 for an Aella video) have themselves been victimized ) or are suffering because their partner or potential partners were abused. I'm puzzled by this choice of words. Why frame it as men being "victimized" by this? Why assume it's something pathological? I feel like the default "occam's razor" take should be that…

Many experts believe that many pornography users experience a behavioral addiction.

One could point to many things unaesthetic about traditional pornography (the "pig face" where the model is heavily made up and scowling... makes me want to slap the person behind the camera) and point to OnlyFans and camgirling as a better product but I think it is a more harmful product because the fantasy that you have a parasocial relationship with the creator is more engaging and more dangerous.

On top of that with the last two years there has been a normalization of video-mediated interactions of all kinds, plus people have not been going out thanks to the pandemic. So I think there has been an explosion in increasingly toxic modern pornography and also the TikTok behavioral sink that has happened so quickly that it hasn't been understood or reckoned with yet.

I think this guy explains it very well

https://www.youtube.com/c/PinnacleOfManTM

particularly see the concept of "simping". I would disagree with most manospherists that you should never, say, buy a woman a drink. (Robert Greene says a lack of generosity is "anti-seductive" and he's right.) Being part of a reverse harem of 1,000s or 10,000s of men is dangerous to your pocketbook, self-respect, stunts your psychosocial development and makes it certain that you are not going to develop real satisfying relationships with women or other men.

Re: The impact of sexual abuse on female development: a longitudinal study

#372

Post by tomcam »

LNSY wrote: post #320
tomcam wrote: post #257

Earlier quoted context omitted.

20 years of therapy never helped me unfortunately

Have you tried EMDR? It's awful -- like getting slapped in the face repeatedly -- but it works.

Huh. Looking into it now. Thanks for suggestion. Would be nice to find some peace

Re: The impact of sexual abuse on female development: a longitudinal study

#373

Post by igneo676 »

int0x2e wrote: post #269
Mezzie wrote: post #129

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> This isn't something that I have to personally worry about if I'm by myself, but it's something that so many women do have to worry about all the time. I can't even imagine the burden that women must carry. Not just women, but children. I was aware that I could be sexually assaulted/harrassed and what to do about it by the time I was 5, and I started getting uncomfortable comments in person around age 11. I'm also…

This is well off the main thread here so please feel free to ignore my request, but as a loving parent of a 3 year-old girl, I worry about when/how do we explain to her what is and isn't okay for adults (and other kids) to do around her, and how she can protect herself, seek help or otherwise handle a situation. Since you mentioned you were aware of the danger when you were as young as 5 - when and how would you sugg…

With my kids, my wife and I teach the idea of consent from a really young age and reinforce it strongly amongst family members. No means no as long as it's their body or their possessions

And we back that up, forcefully. If my kid doesn't want a hug, they will not be getting a hug. If they don't want to share, they won't.

My kid's autonomy is worth way more than those relationships. Period.

And it's worth it. Your kids will naturally share when they feel comfortable doing so. They'll share affection when they feel comfortable. And longer term this extends into topics they're not mature enough to tackle at 3

Re: The impact of sexual abuse on female development: a longitudinal study

#374

Post by wolverine876 »

malwrar wrote: post #343
wolverine876 wrote: post #342

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's also a way of trivializing a real thing with real, serious impact, by omitting the 'real' aspect.

What sort reaction do you expect when you approach these sorts of conversations by essentially saying "your skin color tells me your entire life story, and disagreeing with me trivializes my own experiences"?

Not my words. Who are you quoting?

Re: The impact of sexual abuse on female development: a longitudinal study

#375

Post by jakimfett »

hackerfromthefu wrote: post #345
mbreese wrote: post #276

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you’re not a willing participant, then you can still have the test. If you’re the type where if the kid isn’t your biological kid, then you wouldn’t want to be a father to them — then get a test. The question is — should it be mandatory for all pregnancies? Willing participant or otherwise. I’m not saying no one should have paternity testing. It should certainly be available. I just don’t think you should mandate…

Its also important to remove any doubt - to strengthen the bond in the cases where its true

Given that before birth, it's the woman's body, and after birth it's the child's body being tested, and there is no clear medical case for paternity testing being a life-saving operation somehow...

---

...a mandatory test puts serious amounts of potential harm in the hands of a field that historically (and as demonstrated by some of the regrettable opinions expressed in this conversation thread), completely ignores the rights and consent of a woman and child while discussing how men might feel or believe about said topics.

Relationships are complex things, and blanket legislation will never respect the full consent of the individuals involved. Give the mother freedom to request a pre-birth paternity test, and the child to request the results once they hit their teens, with confidential results.

Anything past that is a relationship issue (does your spouse / child feel safe telling you the truth?), and any form of mandatory testing pre-birth would very much violate the bodily consent of the mother. Post-birth, if it's not a medically necessary operation, which paternity is not, it waits for when the kid is old enough to understand consent.

Consent is not a debate. Consent is about functional boundary. In this case, it is simple:

Not your body? Not your choice.

Enable (their) choice instead of trying to control women and children's bodies, please.

Re: The impact of sexual abuse on female development: a longitudinal study

#376

Post by SpelingBeeChamp »

notch656a wrote: post #319
EdwardDiego wrote: post #262

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Don't they have mandatory reporting requirements? I know they exist in my jurisdiction.

Even where it exists, doctors have to weigh whether the abuse they receive is worse than they'll receive after going through CPS and foster system. Anecdotally I've heard from medical providers they prefer not to actually report unless the kid is literally imminently going to die, because the foster system is often even worse for these kids.

I find that very hard to believe, because the law doesn't allow it and the penalties for noncompliance with mandatory reporting are severe. In many states, failure to report is a crime. Mandatory reporting is intended to remove that kind of subjective evaluation from the picture.

Re: The impact of sexual abuse on female development: a longitudinal study

#377

Post by notch656a »

SpelingBeeChamp wrote: post #376
notch656a wrote: post #319

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Even where it exists, doctors have to weigh whether the abuse they receive is worse than they'll receive after going through CPS and foster system. Anecdotally I've heard from medical providers they prefer not to actually report unless the kid is literally imminently going to die, because the foster system is often even worse for these kids.

I find that very hard to believe, because the law doesn't allow it and the penalties for noncompliance with mandatory reporting are severe. In many states, failure to report is a crime. Mandatory reporting is intended to remove that kind of subjective evaluation from the picture.

OK, fine, don't believe it. I'm not here to convince you how it's nigh impossible to prove what a person is thinking at a particular time. Mandatory reporting is basically a thought crime, if you have the wrong thought (thinking someone is abused), you go to jail for having that thought and not telling someone. Thought crimes are basically impossible to prove in anything other than a kangaroo court.

Re: The impact of sexual abuse on female development: a longitudinal study

#378

Post by wpietri »

sandworm101 wrote: post #65
wpietri wrote: post #58

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There is some evidence that the proportion for the men is a bit different. According to one study, it was about 6% of men. About 2/3rds of those men committed multiple rapes, ~6 each. Details here: https://yesmeansyesblog.wordpress.com/2009/11/12/meet-the-pr... Intuitively, that makes sense. If people figure out how to get away with something, some of them are going to keep doing it. E.g., if I think about the people…

Alcohol. We can get into the definitions of consent, but suffice to say that there are a large number of rapes committed by drunk highschool kids. Many wake up, regret everything about what happened, and never allow themselves to get into such a situation again.

The out-of-the-blue apologia for rape is always startling to me.

Re: The impact of sexual abuse on female development: a longitudinal study

#379

Post by hackerfromthefu »

jakimfett wrote: post #375
hackerfromthefu wrote: post #345

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Its also important to remove any doubt - to strengthen the bond in the cases where its true

Given that before birth, it's the woman's body, and after birth it's the child's body being tested, and there is no clear medical case for paternity testing being a life-saving operation somehow... --- ...a mandatory test puts serious amounts of potential harm in the hands of a field that historically (and as demonstrated by some of the regrettable opinions expressed in this conversation thread), completely ignores t…

You seem to have missed the point, you mention that the mother and the child should have freedom to request a paternity test .. but in the vast majority of cases the mother knows, it's the father that does not know. In all cases the child is the mothers child, where the father can be tricked/defrauded into the most expensive cost they will ever bear for the rest of their life, on the basis of a lie.

This is very obvious, completely unaddressed in your comment, and the rest of your argument is probably in bad faith.

Re: The impact of sexual abuse on female development: a longitudinal study

#380

Post by SpelingBeeChamp »

notch656a wrote: post #377
SpelingBeeChamp wrote: post #376

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I find that very hard to believe, because the law doesn't allow it and the penalties for noncompliance with mandatory reporting are severe. In many states, failure to report is a crime. Mandatory reporting is intended to remove that kind of subjective evaluation from the picture.

OK, fine, don't believe it. I'm not here to convince you how it's nigh impossible to prove what a person is thinking at a particular time. Mandatory reporting is basically a thought crime, if you have the wrong thought (thinking someone is abused), you go to jail for having that thought and not telling someone. Thought crimes are basically impossible to prove in anything other than a kangaroo court.

The real risk is civil liability. Particularly if the victim is later injured
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